It may sound crazy but one morning I woke up with the words I Am My Sister’s Keeper seemingly etched in my brain. I told my partner how that I wanted to watch the thoughts and the words I used towards my sisters. I wanted to consciously think positive thoughts about them and how I wanted her to join me. (She probably thought that I was crazy because I literally woke up out of my sleep talking to her about this as I got of bed that morning.)
If you’ve read my poetry or any of my writings you could probably come to some conclusions about me: that I am forever working to improve myself. A couple of weeks ago I began to recognize how I am my sister’s keeper and how it is up to me to be mindful of that responsibility. I came up with the idea that I would do the same thing that author Versandra Kennebrew did in her book Thank God for the Shelter.
For two weeks now I have been wearing a rubber band around my wrist. The idea of wearing the rubber band was to be a reminder of every time I thought a negative thought about one of my sisters, said something negative out loud, or even acted in a negative way toward one of my sister; I would pop myself with the rubber band. I didn’t realize that although I may not consistently say negative words regarding my sisters out loud, I had some negative thoughts, and every time that I did, I would pop myself with the rubber band. (Let’s just say, I am not as HOLY as I thought I was…LOL)
I’ve always thought myself to be a pretty positive person. I know that I never wish anyone any harm but I realized that some of my actions were harmful, even if the recipient, my fellow sister never even knew it; I did. I wanted to have a clear conscious about my sisters because I don’t know any of their stories, why they act as they do, the journey that they’ve been on, or even the fights they’ve had to fight.
I had no idea that even my words to my partner whom I was sure thought I was crazy and would not join me on this journey but the following day she told me that she indeed had. I must say that I was very proud of the fact that she not only heard what I said but she listened and joined in. She would later tell me that on her first day she was having a bad day at work and had told a co-worker what we were doing. She told her co-worker that she was upset and even though she was not supposed to say anything negative, she began popping herself with the rubber band because she knew that she was about to. I laughed hard when she told me this because I could feel her pain.
In the upcoming days and weeks I will share some of the things that I had to pop myself with the rubber band to remind myself that I was not being a good steward over my sisters. Some of these things I would do prior to this task without a second thought. I hope that you’ll want to read more. If you do, subscribe to my blog so that you’ll receive an email every time that I post.
Peace and Love…
Kai Mann 