Do you feel it?


There is so many ways that you can look at life but the first thing to always do is ask yourself, “What are my intentions?” How you look at something will tell what your intentions are.  Just to safeguard yourself that is the first thing you should not hesitate to ask “you”, yourself.

How you feel about a thing is neither right nor wrong, it IS, what it IS. It’s how you feel and it is okay to feel the way that you do. So remember, there is no right way or wrong way to feel. When we understand what we truly feel and why we feel that way we can decide if we had any reason to feel this way or even not feel the way which is supposedly expected.  We gotta stop using big ass paint brushes over everything.  Some things need to be painted with a small, thin brush.  That is why feelings are neither right, nor wrong. 

When we want to go even deeper, we take a step across the street to the other person’s side or we just ask ourselves to be honest about what we see when we remember what we’re looking at. When we begin to look at people in their traumas and triggers, we can also understand that it was not us but all of the demons they face or not face, they acted out on you. So, for whatever reason people are how they are until they face the things they need to, they will always act out on you. You have to decide how you will handle it and that tells exactly if you’re elevating, moving forward, stuck or not.  It tells you what you need to work on if you feel some kind of guilt behind it, if you’re doing it because you want to be an asshole, or you’re just plain ole’ okay with it.  It is all about your feelings and they will give way to your intentions.

It’s good here. The conversations around me have shifted and elevated and I love it. It wasn’t like it wasn’t before, but this is on a whole other level. I’m loving it here.

I’m doing everything and when something didn’t get done I used to have anxiety. Heart palpitations and all.  I used to feel so bad. Then I realized that I have this need to create experiences. I’ve said to myself that I’m not really creative. Not in a way of design but I like to design experiences and sometimes the weight of that can be heavy. The extreme to that is not caring and because you love your lifestyle what you are beginning to cultivate for yourself there is a bit of commercialism in it as well. But I know what I want to manifest and it is more of a relaxed vibe filled with happiness, dancing, living and laughing. I can’t do that wild obnoxious thing anymore. It’s time to live, especially if you haven’t already. But the only way that you can do that is if you have dealt with all that you need to deal with or started the work.  It’s beautiful. I love the type of conversations where you can teach and learn and at the same time the person you are conversing with doesn’t mind being either while you’re the other. It becomes an equal exchange. It is soooooo beautiful here.

Where my healers at?

Sacred Spaces and Clearing Karma


Taking a full stroll through my life and I can’t help but notice all of the transformations on the journey. I asked earlier this morning, “What am I to do” while in the shower.

I’ve been working on my karma. I want to fulfill the destiny to all my past and current karma. Some would say debt but I like to call it destiny because what you put out is destined to come back.

Meditation. It can be anything. It can be sitting at your alter, lighting, candles and incense and writing. It can be chanting your intentions, specific words, your “I am’s”, or eyes closed seated with your legs crossed or whatever. It is a time of meditating on something that places you in an alternate space of gratitude and reverence. I am reminded that as I move forward I often ask “What am I to do” and within the hour I usually get my answer. As I sit here and write I hear “This is what you do.” So I will. I won’t hold much because I understand with my sun sign in my 1st House that the most transformed will be me. I’ll be transformed by what I allow. By what I do, and what I let touch me from the inside out. I would say that I write it down to remember but I hardly ever go back. However, like my dreams I think the best ones stick around and help me to move forward so I can keep going but like Deja vus they are soon remembered again after they begin to happen. A place, a person or a thing shows up and then “Oh yeah now I remember” My goal is to know why I’m remembering and how it helps because they feel like clues. Like something I need to know and that I should really pay attention to. I used to be afraid to write like this and share it. I’ve always written like this though. It just makes sense to me. I’ve always written my thoughts down when I could. I think to get them out of my head and into action. And part of me also knows that whosoever shall find these words and like finding a good wife, will find a good thing. It feels funny to say that because we’re taught that we’re considered to be cocky or whatever word you can think of such as arrogant, when we talk about what we give or leave as a legacy as good. And so, you must be humble but humility does not say to itself that it isn’t good or that it isn’t genius. It just is. No good person shares it’s worst purposefully. When we’re sharing with others we’re usually sharing our best. So how can that be arrogant in so much as that we need to be humble of what we say we give is a good thing. The thing about that too depends upon the time that you’re sharing. Your best is determined by where you’re at. Your mindset, how you think. So although you tend to give your best it can also be a limited version of what’s best because of your mindset.

My outlook on life as well as my definition of success is changing often. For the past 6-7 months my definition of success has been changing as a matter of fact, without me being totally aware of it. If I had to think back it’s been changing even longer than 6-7 months. The word “productive” has been sketched in my mind for so long that I have been fighting to be “productive” or what I thought was being productive in one area but have come to realize that being productive can mean something totally different. Being productive releases a certain outcome and it depends upon the outcome you’re looking for and my outcome looks like me being able to write from the spirit or soul. That place so deep that it’s more than just from the heart. That place that sometimes you’ve got to yank it out and others you just merely speak. Sometimes I feel like how maybe Terence McKenna and Alan Watts felt. Not that we are the same or speak the same or think the same exact things but the thought of being authentic in what you speak that you don’t care what it sounds like to others but you feel its truth within your being and you can’t help but share it. And you’re not in judgement of those who get it or not.

The word productivity is changing for me. For me it is productive to take time to think, to slow down, light candles, meditate, pray, listen to music, watch a movie, or whatever. Whether you feel productive or not comes from your perception about an act. Have you ever stopped everything to sit and watch a movie and when it’s done you got something from it? You got an answer to a prayer, request or petition? That could be productive. Being productive is part of the process but often we’ve been taught what that process should look like and when we’re being productive we have to always be doing things we don’t want to do. I think the most successful person is the person whose outcomes or results are exactly what they wanted. The most successful person knows how to use all the things that life throws at them, allows themselves to feel the emotions and moves through those things like a wave in an ocean no matter how the wind blows it. They know how to flow through the process because they understand that all of it is productive.

To allow yourself to watch a movie, write, take a bubble bath, binge on a tv show, lie around in bed or whatever and then feel guilty does nothing but produces more guilt. You begin to call yourself lazy but if you’ve gotten some rest, got an idea, or was able to release something is that not productive? I know some would say, “But what if you didn’t get anything from it.” Then I’d say you need to ask yourself why you did it? Doesn’t everyone want to live a good life? Well, most of them anyway. There are some that want to kill themselves from time to time. But if you want to live and have a good life isn’t it profitable and even productive to do all of it, and get something from it. I too believe everyone wants a good life. Yes, a good life is perspective. Some could want Gold and jewels. Some could want to have a nice comfortable home they could live in forever with a nice car. Some want to see the whole entire world and others just want to go to Jamaica. We make people feel unsuccessful if they want something different and say they’re less productive but if you can master the life you want to have I say that’s being productive. Yes, there are levels on the journey to having a successful life and there are different levels to each individual’s path to having a successful life and on each level we have to transform. Many people don’t know that the key to knowing how you’ll transform is based upon your Astrological chart. We all have the transformational planet Pluto in our chart as well as the transformative sign of Scorpio so we all transform but for each of us we have our own unique way of doing so.

I was trying to find an answer to something and came across my old Astrology posters that I wrote out before doing the “Lifestrology” videos. Boy, Oh Boy! The Lesson is beginning, I can feel it.

So right now I know what I am to do. But now I need to know how. I pulled out the Saturn, 6th House and Aries posters and by doing this it just showed me how.

My Saturn is in the 6th house of work, service to others, health and wealth. So this is what I have to get now. I gotta get this in order to have a successful life.

My Saturn is in the 6th House in the sign of Aries.

Aries likes to start shit but don’t like to finish it. The 6th House is about perfecting, mastering or being successful in your area of work, service to others, health and wealth.

Saturn will teach me how to master it.

Aries, the positives; it signifies new beginnings, is ruled by Mars so it always gravitates toward action. The negative is that what is defined as action can be both helpful and harmful.

Aries is also headstrong and will take risks and is always all in. The negative: they rarely finish what they start. They spend their energy in too many places. So these are things to watch out for. I’ll need to have a plan of what I’ll do when this happens and know what my desired outcome is. Seems like a lot of work I know but you’re doing it anyway, why not have it be “productive”. LOL!

So now my Saturn in Aries lets me know my gifts as well as my under-developed strengths.

Gifts: Adventurous, Pioneering (This is why I’m always doing new things), Gravitate towards action and I got Heart.

Under-Developed Strengths: Don’t finish what you start, short patience and spend energy in too many places.

Saturn is teaching me in the area of work, service to others, and health and wealth. It is teaching me the rules about being adventurous, pioneering, taking action and having heart. And that I have to watch out for not finishing things, the benefits of being patient and spending energy in only what’s necessary and bring me the most profit. Hold on, I know what you’re thinking, but spending time with family is profitable. You leave deposits with those you spend time with and hopefully when you need a withdrawal it will be profitable. You give of time worth more than money to those in need and what that looks like for each of us is different but that too is profitable when you are calling out to the Universe, Source, the Planets, Stars and “All” it too will be profitable.

So, Saturn wants to show me how to be disciplined because that is the 1st rule. You can’t have a successful life if you are not disciplined. But you must know that being disciplined is listening to yourself too. You know the voice, it’s a specific one. Not the one that makes you feel bad about yourself either.

I know you want to know “When”. When do you know how to be patient or be pioneering. When you’re not going to finish or you’re being patient. Wherever you are, now is as good a place as any to learn the answer to that and the best thing about that is you have past experience as a guide.

Think of the times you’ve been impatient, their outcomes and ask yourself are they different from what you wanted and if so, what is the difference?

This is talking to yourself. And it’s okay to answer. They want you to feel crazy for doing so, so you don’t move to the next level. Who are they? Those that don’t want you to go, could even be “you”. You can be a “those” or a “they” for that matter.

Learn the effects certain foods have on your body, the way certain music makes you feel and the only way to do this is to study yourself. This too is a part of being productive and have a successful life. It is a deeper level of self awareness so that you can master the life that you came to live.

I just got the thought about Karma and how it can come back strong and to be ready if that happens because you don’t know how it affected the other person. It may be in ways that you hadn’t expected but own it. Own whatever that looks like. It can be scary in a heart pounding loudly, wanna faint way. But let it be what it is. That too is part of life. Deal with it so that you can move on because if you can’t, you won’t.

I see my birthday on the clock a lot. I’m being reborn.

Remember, don’t let them tell you what you can do.

What If This “Is” The Way


Today, in this evening is shared moments between baby boy and I. I haven’t called him that but he and I are sharing space right now and it’s actually quite beautiful. The sun is going down and on the TV is

And Bosley is going back and forth between he and I to play as we each get tired as she is making us, well me, use a bunch of energy. I just want to chill. Can’t I just throw it and you go get it. Why you gotta not let it go and want to do tug of water. Her tail is wagging. She don’t know that I’m not a puppy too. That’s what it feels like. Whew!

Maybe this is better. Maybe this way is best. Sometimes we mourn for paths not taken when maybe this path was taken by design? Maybe this was the best way out of all the ways. After careful consideration. Consciously and Subconsciously. Our brain sees everything even things we don’t notice or consider. It’s because it would be a lot to retain without losing good data too. We would consistently be in a space of “Not-knowing” Because there would always be access to all kinds of information at one time. “TMI” came from here. But our minds analyze trillions of pieces of data so maybe just maybe even though some times were so difficult you didn’t know if you would make it but part of the plan was to get to the place that would ultimately lead to the best outcome possible. And that was it, and you had to go through some of the things you’ve gone through but the outcome was guaranteed.

What if this “was” the plan even how f_@√€£ up it seems. This was the best way out of a trillion other ways.

What if it was meant, the beginning of our paths and the roads taken. The roads that we take and the places they lead. I suppose they go as they are met because this was the path chosen before the journey started. Why would we torture ourselves and others to take a path that we don’t know what the goal of that Soul is. That is not our contract to fill but what if? Can you imagine your life differently now?

My Mercury in ♎ and ♎ Rising in the 12th house want me to look at that another way. What if we did know what another person’s Soul Goal is because we knew that person’s life path and we could help guide them to or back to the path for their journey. The thought came to me is that everyone couldn’t do that because they don’t know their own path and would be trying to tell you yours. As they do now, but what if the path you’re on was the best path out of all paths? Would you still do anything differently?

I wouldn’t. This is beautiful. Sitting here long ways on the couch. My Sun, sitting on the shorter end although his legs are the longest. He’s playing his game with his covers across his legs and me writing a blog. Sometimes we want to tell ourselves how much we’ve missed when we chose a different path but maybe that was an original part of the plan that we’re playing out because we chose the best way and this was it. That it gets better because we know we win. We know we get the best outcome. Do we feel sorry for those that don’t know that and hate they’re lives thus causing a shift in the plan that takes them off course. 🤔 or is that part of the plan too.

One different answer to any question could change the destination to this very moment that I’m grateful for. A lot of right things had to happen for this moment to occur and maybe even some negative ones as well. I wouldn’t give anything for it. I think I’m able to say that for the first time. We carry so much guilt about life that we can’t even live. Forget the other people that try to hold us into that guilt until we get up outta here. We place our own foot on our own necks. That’s something to let go of. We don’t need nothing else holding us down. This is the best and if it’s not then we need to find a way to make it so, so that we can be in a better place before it’s over. Don’t nobody want to go out like that.

This is an Experience Come With Me


Press Play before reading

“Sometimes I make a mess but sometimes I leave it there and it actually turns out better. Simple…what a statement.”

This is an experience. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be somebody else? I have. Come with me. Now, I’m not going to tell you what to see, how to think or how to be. But, I’ll tell you how to get the best out of this experience before going any further go to the YouTube channel Neo-Soul Mix| “Play Fight ” on YouTube (of course now you can just press the play button above before you get into this.)

One thing about me is that I write how I talk so I hope that you can enjoy this if not, maybe it’s not for you and if not we both okay if you feel you need to move along. I totally understand that. We all don’t see eye to eye but if you feel me please leave me some kind of acknowledgement that you understand and perhaps feel the same.

Sometimes when I’m chilling I sit down and think and when I get real deep in thought the first thing I do is grab a pen and pad. I sit at my own feet to see what it is that I have to say. It doesn’t all flow consecutively but the higher self always gives you something that you can use and if you allow yourself, you’ll learn quite a bit. So I just write whatever my higher self thinks, questions, or just make statements about and I can most times feel an opening in my chest where wind rushes in and I have to take a deep breath.

Here goes…

It is so true that the things you truly want out of life you can have. I had been wanting to hear some music, the king of music that’s where I am at in my life. I kept thinking about that. I wanted to hear that kind of music and today I find this.

My heart overflows at some of the most small things to some, but it’s amazing to me. It’s amazing to be in your house with family, or by yourself and you’re doing one of your favorite things to do. I’m literally dancing in my kitchen while I’m cooking. It’s not like it’s real big but it’s so cool. I haven’t danced in over 6 years. Well, that one time we did but not like I used when I danced by myself. Those who really know me know that I love to dance. When you become more aligned with the Universe, you recognize the small things. The older I get I just want to be whole. For me that’s just balance. The balance between me dancing and writing and now I’m dancing, cooking and writing. That’s beautiful. What a balancing act. This is more than that. It is a spiritual orgasm.

Can we just talk? Can we be open?

We gotta start letting people be who they are. We, individual but we copies.

When you get to a certain age in your life ( And you’re the only one to know when that it is.) but you just want what some call “peace”. I just want wholeness.

For me that looks like being able to be home and still take care of all my responsibilities, being able to listen to music or dance when I want. I want to love my woman, travel, laugh, eat , exercise, do yoga, pray, meditate, see my family, play with my greats and grandbabies and enjoy life. And I want everybody else to be able to do it too. You ever find yourself coming back to where you were or where you were when you were probably your most authentic? I’m excited to see how that turns out. I am not lying, sometimes I feel like I’m living life in reverse and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes you have to go back to find your center.

I’m sitting at my desk. I finished dinner before this last paragraph. I love thinking that it can be orgasmic to me especially when I’m able to keep up writing while doing it…

Have you been paying attention to the words in the songs on the playlist? It’s Dope isn’t it.

Want to know what’s funny? My Sun is sleep in the living room and so is Bosley. I have my wireless headphones on while dancing and cooking. That is so freeing. I hope other people are doing things that make them feel free. I think when people feel free, they feel so good. That kind of feel good that you don’t get from a lot of things so you want it to last, to keep it and you know that the only way to do that is when everybody feels free.

I need to find this 1st song. Like who is this? What’s her YouTube channel?

I did all of that cooking and I’m not hungry anymore.

You know what I think? I think that we only see each other when we’re up or on our way up. But that whole ‘down’ thing ain’t always televised. I wonder if we want help. Or is it that we’re embarrassed. I always liken it to school because each level has a bottom and a top, and we all have to go to all the levels. Even if we skip them we still gotta come back.

You ever been waiting on someone who was waiting to ascend?

Why if we all know that everybody goes through things that we’re not more open about it when we are?

Balance is the equal amount of each side. Positive and negative. That doesn’t equate to 50 it’s to 100, like 20/80, 80/20, 75/25, 25/75. It’s not always 50/50.

(I change the playlist to the one below)

My Food is so good y’all. Oh my gawd. Dayum, this beat is so hard. I don’t know what they’re sayin but it is enticing freedom. Pulling it out of you gently even though it’s hard, the edges are smooth.

I had to stop and listen to the music even though at first I didn’t know what she was saying then I recognized the music. I love her music. Different types of music makes you think different things. I like music that entices thought from the brain. I love love music or romance, “Love Songs” that make sense. There can’t be no toxicity. I listen to some of the love songs from my earlier life and think, “they promoted some dumb shit.” When I was watching the Billie Holiday movie the other day and the Song “Ain’t nobody’s business if I do”, came on, I thought “I want us to not need music like that no more.” Then I was reminded that the environment begins to shed itself of toxicity. Isn’t that what getting healthy is all about?

Someone has to be brave enough to do it.

Kai

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