There have been people
to come and help
along the way
I often wonder
if they knew
that’s what
they were doing
my heart
feels it
so
deep
A shift happened
let’s me
know
I’ve stepped into
something new
I’m trying to figure
out my rhythm
so excuse
me if I feel
a
little
off
I’ll recalibrate
soon
just gotta get acclimated
but it won’t be
long
now
~KAIOLOGYInk
#KaiologyInk #Kaism #Kai2pointO
The excitement started days before the concert. My partner and I not oblivious to it, but spiritually we knew we were entering into another milestone of our lives past our relationship. We attended our first Erykah Badu concert together in 2008 at Chene Park. The view, the music, and the company were one of the many highlights of our almost nine year journey.
Last night we celebrated again as the culmination of which we were, we were no longer, and who we will be has yet to come. Somewhere in between, we have awakened to the challenges before us and walk graciously through them.
When we left our home we left in excitement of what the concert would hold for us. On the drive memories of the events from the first concert we shared together slipped in and through our minds like waves racing back to the shore.
I’m not sure if we noticed if the crowd was an unusual one or not, but we filed in with them from the parking garage into the Fox Theatre. The vibrations in the air indicated that we were all there to hear some good music and vibe along with the artists who came to share their gifts.
Erykah’s flight was delayed, so was the show. We sat talking and laughing together while we waited. Took silly pictures, and laughed some more. Finally, an hour later the concert started.
The first sounds blazed the speakers and literally seared my spirit. I sat motionless for a moment thinking to myself “Will I be able to do this”. The vibrations from the speakers shook my insides and made my heart skip a beat and for a moment I could not breathe. I looked around at everyone in the crowd and thought “Am I the only one feeling this”. My body quake in a frequency so low that I thought I might stop breathing altogether. I leaned over to my partner and said “I don’t think I am going to be able to do this” and in response she said “I think I’m going to have a panic attack”. I ushered her out of the theatre and we went into the lobby where drinks were being sold both talking about the experience that we both just shared.
We look around at the crowd to see the faces of anyone standing near the entrance as the bass shaking everything in its path could still be heard and felt. Even standing in the lobby, I thought my soul was about to be stolen. The faces of others were not in a state of panic or alarm and I was disappointed. How could anyone be used to this. How could so many people be okay with traveling on this frequency? I felt one beat away from death and they were numb.
We watched the ushers who were all elderly women standing in the entry way to the theatre to see if the music bothered them. Nope, there was no sign of panic on their faces either. We scanned the line of people handing their tickets to the same ushers to seat them and no one’s face reflected anything near what we felt. We decided to stay in the Lobby until the frequency changed to something more enjoyable. We didn’t want to lose out on the money we had spent for our tickets and not have been able to see who we came for, Erykah Badu.
The frequency changed to something more suitable and we walked back into the theatre just as the lights were being lowered. As we found our seats, the familiar sounds from Tank was accepted by our spirits. We were grateful this time to be able to sit and hear and not be fearful of our lives.
Although the concert was not nearly what we had expected, it opened our eyes to something we had not thought about nor experienced ever. That experience would open our spiritual eyes to see a level of consciousness so low that it could possibly kill you. It felt as if every body piercing beat was violently changing my internal frequency to something death defying. What was even sadder was being made aware of the many zombie-like spirits that walk together on the same path, on the same low frequency.
In my quest for a spiritual awakening I am learning more than I ever thought possible, but at the same time I understand that I still have lots to learn and experience. What this experience has taught me is to be more aware of what I allow into the most inner parts of me and that there are some frequencies so low that they will stop your heart and ultimately kill you.
We were thankful for the higher frequency of Erykah Badu. When she graced us with her presence we welcomed her on stage but still there was something that was lacking in our experience of her. We, both, are not sure if we had been tainted by the previous experience prior to her arrival but the concert was not nearly the same as the first time. I think from now on, I will only invite my spirit to more intimate settings of musical experiences that way I may be able to control what I allow a little more. I am however, still grateful for the experience and the lesson as I move along my soul journey.
#Kaism #Kai2pointO @fatbellybella @TheRealTank
Wouldn’t it feel good
to go some place
Where you can
be you
that’s not on
the same day
every year
just because you can?
My heart is going to
burst out of my
Chest
for real…
I’m jus sayin’
…I‘m just saying
Things are
going to
be
a little
bit
different
I can feel it
There’s been a shift
There’s been
a
step made
I can feel it
I love how
it feels
Just a little
step
but
I can
not only
see it
I can
feel it
Seeing is usually subjective
Based on
What
it’s looking at
How far it is
between
it
and
that
You can’t always
feel it
there’s
no connection
but there’s a connection
between
the eyes
and
the heart
It’s almost one
And they
aren’t that close
in distance
I can feel
that I’m
doing something
different
I haven’t done this before
Imprints on my heart
Can be seen as scars
Light
seen as
Darkness
Too afraid
To walk in it
because it doesn’t
seem natural
It’s not the way
others would go
but
The risk
is necessary
to be
Different
to do something more
Called
to impart words
Called
to ask questions
Called
to produce thoughts
Light or darkness
Walk in without fear
I’m ready
I wasn’t sure that I’d get here
I wasn’t sure because I thought I was further away than I was.
Seeking the Universe because I know it’s on my side
It’s trying to help me
It holds my heart close
It keeps me moving forward
Sometimes the steps are slow
but I’m coming.
Shoot! I know that I’m not the only one because what he put in me, he put in you…
People can’t break your heart when you don’t love them
Love may be hard to show or talk about at times; but when your heart gets broken you can’t hide that.
No one should have to have their heart broken just to find out.
-Kaiology-
Sometimes you have to talk yourself through life, through the next step, through the next path you’re going to take, and even to get to the next level. Not everyone has someone outside of the Supreme Being to guide them through life in the physical. Meaning, there is no Mr. Miyagi. Even if there were, you still have to make the decision to move forward and tell yourself how you’re going to do it. Life isn’t for cowards or the faint at heart. Each step of the way you have to talk yourself through it as you walk down the paths of life.
The Creator has already given you what you need but you have to stand up in it and walk it; but not without telling yourself that you have the courage to do so. And often.
Today started out like any other day, until I did my normal routine of checking for reviews on my first novel. It would happen at the very moment that my second novel is to come out that I would receive a very negative review. I had to laugh at myself because my first reaction was “Huh?” I thought maybe the reviewer had placed the wrong review on my book’s page. Shocked by the review, I realized that it was real. I sent the link to the three people who mattered most with regards to my book; my editor, my #1 fan, and my partner. I decided in that moment that I was going to be okay and that this is something to be expected because everyone is not going to like everything. I had a good laugh about it and then asked myself “What are you going to do about it?” I told myself that I would press on and let it roll down my back just enough to keep me in check; to keep me motivated, to work harder, and to do better.
For the past two years, the Creator has been toughening my spirit so to speak. He has been preparing me for the trials that are going to come because I know that there will be many. He has been putting down in my spirit all of the necessary tools I’ll need to do my job. He has also been faithful to place the right people in my midst to help me to continue on. You see, I believe in my heart that I have a purpose as a messenger and I cannot let anything get in the way of doing that. There are going to be times that people may not agree with what I am doing or what I have to say but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that I say it.
One of the toughest things in life is to do what you believe that you are called to do in the face of opposition. But the key is to not question yourself, but to move forward. There will be many obstacles but I know that I must remain calm, and know that life is coming to do exactly what it is supposed to do; challenge me.
Don’t Let It Change You…
You have to become the type of person that even if others don’t support you the way that you support them; that you won’t change because of it.
There is a reason you have the kind of spirit (Heart) that you have. (God gave it to you) You MUST learn how to use it and when. The only problem is that your gift didn’t come with instructions so you must learn through experience.
Don’t let it change you…
