Putting Pressure on God


Some of us put more pressure on the God that’s outside of us than the god that’s inside of us. We’re always saying “if God will allow me to be more, give more, or have more, I will do this or that.” Or we’re always begging for something we have control over. How can one have dominion and beg at the same time. You are either the owner and have controlling power or influence or you are helpless and weak. We stand in these churches and sing these songs talking about the power and might we have and then outside of those four walls we are crumbling piece by piece. Lacking power, dominion and influence. If only you knew exactly who you were.

John 10:33-34 King James Version (KJV)

33 The Jews answered him, saying, For a good work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that thou, being a man, makest thyself God.

34 Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?

 

Psalm 82:5-7 King James Version (KJV)

They know not, neither will they understand; they walk on in darkness: all the foundations of the earth are out of course.

I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.

But ye shall die like men, and fall like one of the princes.

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Don’t Get Sucked In


me, GROWING AND PROUD OF MYSELF.

This morning I sit and create with the thoughts that God gave me. I am reminded of two videos I started working on for a client late yesterday and how to top them off. And then, my thoughts go to a meeting that I have on Monday. At the end of this meeting we get to talk about what good thing happened to us since the last meeting. I contemplate how I have been privy to see people’s real intentions as of late. Although it’s been longer than 30 days this entire year so far has been about communication. Mainly mine. Preparation began for this during the third quarter of 2017 where the focus was on Self talk, Self-expression, how I communicate with others and respond to their actions. I’ve been privileged to see people for who they really are but the key hasn’t been about them but about me. What will I do with the information and how will I react. Knowing someone’s real intentions or feelings and not reacting with hate, malice, or judgement of their thoughts, actions, or intentions tells more about you than them. These past 30 days has been allowing this knowledge to turn into wisdom.

Late last year a private email of a co-worker was somehow sent to me. It was an email between herself and her fiancé about me “acting black”. I was hurt and felt a bit disturbed because I had not seen this coming. Was I distracted? How did I not know that she felt some kind of way about black people? She and I laugh together, finish each other’s songs and watch some of the same shows together that have mostly black characters. When I checked my email when I got in the office that morning, I remember sitting and reading it over and over. I originally thought that she meant to forward the email to someone else in the office, but I thought “no”, because that person has blacks in their family, so I don’t think that it was meant for them. When she came in the office I calmly waited for her to get situated after we said, “Good morning” and then I asked if she had anything that she wanted to tell me. She said “No.” I then forwarded her email back to her and asked her to check her email. She did and instead of speaking with me about it she immediately went to our boss. I felt slighted once again, like why couldn’t you and I just talk about this. Maybe she thought that I was going to fly off the handle. I didn’t. I was shook but I realized that I had been prepared for this the night before when speaking to a friend about something she was creating called “Just say it”.  My friend created a platform called “Just say it” where people can have a safe space to just say how they really feel. She felt that this was a way for us to begin to learn about how we really feel and about others and how they feel. She thought it was a way for all of us to heal and I agreed so which meant if I really felt that way this situation I found myself currently in would allow for me to react in a different manner and so, I did.

I’ve previously written about how people come up to me and just start telling me intimate stories of their lives and how I feel that it is part of my purpose here on earth to allow people to have a safe space to say things that they couldn’t otherwise say to someone else or maybe for them to release those things.  There too are people who just come up to me and say out of the way things as well to me about me that many people would just go off about and I don’t. I realize that when people come up to me that I am a light, a refuge of sort and that light will draw anyone who needs it even those who don’t know how to respond to it. It’s not about me it’s about them. So even when people come up to me who I don’t know and say something about what I’m wearing or even what I’m doing I’ve come to understand that it’s about them and not me so don’t get upset or angry in response.

When all my energy is not focused or directed in a specific place I am open to the energy fields of those around me. It’s a good thing at times because I can feel when someone needs something which could just mean that in that moment they feel afraid and just need for someone to stand with them. I feel that, and I stand with them without saying that I feel that they do. On the opposite of that I’ve been able to feel people’s negative intentions or feelings where I am concerned as well. It is normal when you can feel someone’s disdain, dislike, displeasure or ill-intentions towards you to want to be on the defense so that you can defend yourself, but I realize there is no need. The key is to remain in a space of love. People often get sucked in thinking that you must defend or shield yourself from someone else’s actions, but the key is to be able to hold a space of love in your heart even when you know the truth. Remember, it’s not about you, it’s about them but how you react is all about you. I believe you should love yourself enough to react differently so that you’re not disappointed later by your actions.

Anytime that we find out how someone truly feels about us we can focus all our energy on being prepared for their next move and how to one-up them or we can focus our energy on how we want to react. Our reactions say more about where we are in our lives. It says if we’ve mastered a level where we walk in reaction to others, being pulled in every direction or if we are strong enough to resist the urge of those low-level things and can now move to the next level. It’s who you’ve said that you wanted to be, it’s hard to be it but you can’t just say it and not mean it or work to be it.

Saying who you are and being that person takes two different types of energy. We strive to be that person who has mastered those things, so we say that we are but it’s almost like saying we are because it sounds good but with no real intent or action to do the work it takes to be it. We’ve heard others say it and it sounds good on them, so we feel we must say it too but don’t have a real concept of it, what it looks like or even why we should say it or even be it for that matter. If you’ve ever worked in a call center you know that you work from a script. Everyone is supposed to say the same thing. In a call center you can hear everyone’s conversation and occasionally, someone will deviate from the script and what they’ve said sounds good and you hear yourself say “That sounds good, I’m going to say that the next time too.” So, the next time you’re in that situation where those words fit you say them. You don’t know why other than it just sounds good so you said it.

I listen to teachings on YouTube while I work because I work a lot and don’t get to read often. Sometimes at work I’m so focused on what they’re saying in the YouTube video that I’m listening to that I don’t always hear what’s going on around me. It hasn’t always been because I don’t get to read often but also to be honest, mostly to retreat from what’s going on around me at the same time. For some time now, I’ve been allowing myself a little time to focus less on that and tuning in to some of the frequencies around me and I sometimes feel the negative intentions or feelings of others when they walk past. Sometimes it can be hard to feel their energy and not match it but again, I don’t want to be pulled into the madness of others, my goal is to maintain my own frequency even in chaos or ill-feelings or intent. Some days I win and others I don’t even if it is not said aloud, anytime when I allow my feelings to match theirs I’ve lost.

Little by little for the last month I’ve been packing to move. I’ve been working so much that I waited until the last minute to find a place. However, God saw fit to bless me to not be homeless and be able to move from one place to another seamlessly, so I thought. My new leasing office called me to say that my new apartment will not be ready on the 15th as planned, something came up and that it won’t be ready until the 19th. They said they would try to find another apartment and would let me know by the end of the day if they could. I didn’t get shaken I just said “This is going to be difficult as I have to be out of my current place on the 15th and would have to spend extra money to store my belongings and find a hotel to stay for the four days. At that time, they let me know that I should be able to stay at my current apartment for four extra days, so I called my current leasing office. When I called to ask the person that I usually speak with when I have problems she was not there. I asked to speak to her because not only is she the manager but when I’ve had to pay my rent late I’ve called and spoke with her. Her not being there was alignment working at its best. There was a gentleman who answered the phone who was new. After telling me the manager wasn’t in I told him what my situation was, and he told me that they basically had to let me stay it’s in my signed contract but that he would let the manager know what my issue was and have her to call me. Well, the new leasing office was not able to turn-around another apartment, so they called to let me know. The next morning, I called my current leasing office again and the person I wanted to speak with the day prior answered the phone. I asked her if she received my message, she said she had and that I was on her list to call back. She asked me if it was possible for them to have my apartment ready on the 15th and I told her no that they had an issue with the tub and had to send out for a new one and that it wouldn’t be ready until the 19th. I told her that I had nowhere else to go and that I needed to remain in my apartment until the 19th. She told me that was unfortunate as I was slated to move on the 15th and she had tenants moving in. The tone she used was one I had not heard before, so I told her that I was told because I had signed an agreement with your company that I would be allowed to stay the additional days. Not allowing her tone to affect mine. She then began to change her tone because I had a piece of information that she didn’t know that I had and said “Well, let me see what I can do. I’ll try to find another apartment for the tenants and I’ll let you know later today.” It’s funny how all this time I thought she was a fair person and I often gave her praises and thanked her for being such. Finding out that she would’ve pushed me out of my apartment taking advantage of my lack of information had I not known that because I signed an agreement with the leasing company that I could stay additional days made me feel some kind of way when I got off the phone with her. Later that day she called and left a voicemail message saying that “I could stay until the 19th but that they would need the keys by noon that day.” That was jarring for me to know that she would’ve put me out knowing that I had nowhere else to go because I didn’t know that I could’ve stayed. I thanked God for giving me insider information prior to speaking with her and then I asked myself “How will you handle this when you see her?” Remember, this says more about her than it does me but how I choose to handle this now says more about me than it does her.

The moral to these stories is that I’m really beginning to understand self-love on another level. Loving myself means that I chose to be a better person as the opportunity presents. That I chose to communicate on a higher frequency. That even with new information I can still choose to live in peace. In peace with myself, my actions, and my responses. That I can choose my energy and what I will focus on. That I have the power to love myself in such a way that I don’t need to disappoint myself and over react to situations to prove that love. That every time that I do, it makes me stronger and more powerful.

 

me, I AM GROWING AND I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.

 

 

 

Kai-ology….The study of Kai

 

Let The Dead Bury The Dead


Okay, so if you follow me on Facebook you know that I post quite a bit of questions, “be mindful” quotes, inspirational flyers and posts to inspire thought. Recently I posted “Let the dead bury the dead”. This was actually posted after I was thinking about Easter and the concept of, traditionalized, and ritualistic events that we partake of during this season.  I wondered if “Jesus” would rather us focus on going within and finding our purpose and what we came to do rather than celebrating his death and resurrection. I wondered if he thought we were too focused on dead things. Dead rituals, dead traditions, dead relationships, and that only the dead could continue to bury the dead year after year, generation after generation. At what point do we begin to do something different realizing the state of the dead walking. And then I started thinking about the concept of Jesus…anyway, my thoughts can sometimes go deeper so rather than posting all of that I just posted “let the dead bury the dead” wondering what others would think of that statement. After posting it I had a family member reply with a bit of concern. I’m laughing at it now because I can see how some could be concerned if their perception of me was depressive. Well, I stated that I was okay and basically that the post was about perception. But this actually got me to thinking after it was said that I’ve given the perception that I was serious. It is no perception at all, I am serious. I’ve always been that way. Don’t get me wrong, that is not the total sum of who I am, but I have always had a serious nature. To really love me you have to know me and not the perception of who you believe me to be.

Many of us say “you don’t know me” and it’s just a thing that is said to another when questioned about an act or deed when something out of the norm was done. But I realized that no one outside of my partner and God really knows me. I believe that my life’s purpose is to be a change, or transformations agent if you will, and my higher self has sown the seeds within my platform of self-love, self-growth, and self-development. A lot of my posts on social media has been about others and what they think, encouraging and empowering them. As a person with a Scorpionic nature I could be called secretive but that’s not who I am really. I share much of me through my writing but those things that are deep I have reserved for the space that call for them. Which normally means for those who too enjoy the more deep, thoughtful conversations and have a need for me to share them. My apple cart would be to have more of these type conversations as this is where I feel most at home.

In my life, I have been the person that people come tell their deepest secrets to. I’m not kidding either, I have people walk up to me in stores or wherever and just start talking to me and telling me intimate things about them. For many I have been the person that has been an ear, the secret keeper, a voice of reason, or given to wisdom. But during this time, no one has really asked me outside of my partner, about me. What do I like, what do I think, what do I need, what do I feel? That is my role within this universe, what I agreed to before I came here and I don’t take it lightly, nor do I bitch and moan about it because that is why I am here; but I believe that I do begin to wonder when people assume that I am one way or given to a perception that I am another way because they never asked.

I then began to think about the relationships that I have with people who are family members and those that would call me friend, I realized that even if they are associated with me by blood, some sort of friendship, or business relationship that they don’t really know me at all. They’ve felt close to me because I have encouraged, supported, filled a void or space in their lives but there has not been much reciprocation. For my family members, they know me from whatever age we last had interaction and for most people that’s who you still are.  I’ve walked a lone path for much of my life. Not lonely or alone, just lone. I am not uncomfortable with this part of me. It has been who I have been for most of my life. It was who I was groomed to be. It was who I circumstantially was destined to be, this is my assignment and I am okay with it. So, not for myself but for others to see, I did a post that said I would give a $100 to the person who could answer all six questions, only because I knew no one could. I wanted to dissolve a perception that I believe people have of me. And these were they:

  1. Why did I change my name to Kai?
  2. What makes me laugh?
  3. What makes me cry?
  4. What is my favorite day of the week?
  5. What has the last 5 years been like for me?
  6. What am I most proud of?

 

 

Somewhere Between Death & Rebirth


Sometimes when I sit to write the words seem to escape me. I’m in this space of learning and growing and I feel like I can’t find the words to speak with the highest regards and honor for this space but here goes…

It has been said that you are the greatest project that you will ever get to work on. That is so true. I used to hear others talk about doing ‘your work’ and I don’t think I truly knew what that meant for me. I wasn’t sure what work I had to do but mostly I was afraid that I didn’t have the time to do it. Somewhere in 2013 I remember thinking to myself “I am too happy. Something is getting ready to change.” I didn’t mean it in a negative way but in a way of knowing that the principle of rhythm will soon be at work without really knowing that principle in the sense that I do now. I think what I love most about us as energy, souls or spirits is that there is always this higher self at work. This subconscious nature we have that knows more than the surface of who we are often guides us into the next state of being without force.

I thank God, the Creator, Source, ‘The ALL” whatever it is that you want to call it but I am most grateful that I have come to be in the mind of it allowing me this time and space on this plane. As I come into more knowledge of who I am and beginning to understand my work. I understand it to be undoing all that has been done up until this point. Experiences that left residual feelings of pain, shame, expectations, negativity, and the like. Originally done by my parents trying to raise me the best they knew how. My extended family adding their learned behaviors and experiences, as well as the friends and others that played extras in “The Life of Kai”. Most of the residuals after a certain age where left by my own hands. Trying to make sense of a world that I believe most people don’t understand anyway. Many themselves are trying to figure things out and we end up using them as sounding boards, examples and what have you.

I have come to be at the place where birth and death meet. A space in between where the ashes are beginning to form but I am long away from the Phoenix rising up out of the ashes. This place is where the work began a while ago and now seeing the effects that the work has on you. It is seeping into the places where voids stood. Not realizing that there were so many voids. Voids I have been writing about these last three years but I’m now contemplating how I have walked with some defects for quite some time. If you know anything about defects you know that you learn to use other members of your body in place of those defects to make up for the deficits. It usually means that at times you end up over compensating for a few things. Boy, did I over compensate for a few things.

I’m laughing right now inside of myself because I know that I’m about to share some things that people outside of my circle don’t know but the funny part is that most people would ask “Why is she telling her personal business?” Well, it’s not for those who ask that question but for those who would read it and say “I can relate.”

For years I used to go around helping people. So much so that I would put myself in a space of lack. I’d buy diapers, clothes, and such for other people’s babies and later would have to file bankruptcy on the card that I used to purchase their children’s things. Well, let me start at the beginning. I grew up without a concept of money. You see, the age difference between my sister and brother are twelve and thirteen years so when it got to me I kind of missed out on some of the teachings because my mother was kind of tired. No fault of her own, she did what she could. I had three other aunts and from the time I can remember, somewhere around age eight or nine every Christmas my cousins and I would walk around with hundreds of dollars in our pockets. Every year I’d lose mine until my cousin who is two years older than I got smart and decided to start holding it for me because she was tired of sharing her money with me. (I was the baby girl of my family’s generation.) So, I don’t know if I would say that my cousin and I were spoiled. I would say that our family loved and supported each other something that we have been missing since their generation.

Anyway, back to the story. Money had kind of plagued me since that time. Always receiving money and never being able to keep it. I don’t think I understood about money. I just knew that you’d get more of it probably because they (my family) would replace it in some way. Well, when I began to look back over my life when I chose to “do my work” I realized that I had always had an unhealthy relationship with money. I’d lose it and then later that year or so, I would have the opportunity to gain it back. I had been in places where I was living paycheck to paycheck and my credit score had never gone any higher than 585. I couldn’t understand what the deal was, yet I never thought to do anything about it.

Well, one day I told myself I could not go on like this. This had to end because I was getting way too old for this to be happening and I didn’t want to walk into my destiny this way. So, I began to make changes. Last year I had to purchase a new car and because I am working on my work I had to be honest with myself and get what I could afford which was a 2014 Toyota Corolla. I would love to tell you that some of those childish feelings one would feel didn’t come up for me when I pulled up to my apartment after purchasing it. Not only did I get a Toyota Corolla, I got a red one. I have never owned a “Red” anything in my life and I hadn’t driven a car since 2005. The reason I ended up getting a new car was because my 2007 Ford Explorer Eddie Bauer Edition was about to be paid off and the last eighteen months that I had it everything that could go wrong on it did go wrong. So, going from a Truck to the smallest car ever was a bit of a struggle mentally for about 24 hours when I realized that it was new, it was mine, and it could’ve been so much worse. I had to become grateful for this car that had nothing wrong with it rather than worrying about how I would look in it when I pulled up anywhere and got out of it. I had to be grateful because I knew that I had a way to work, business meetings, and anywhere else I needed to go.

The next thing in doing my work was getting out of the financial hole I had dug myself in trying to pay vendors, pay bills, start businesses, buy equipment and make ends meet. I decided to get another job. By my calculations it would take me about 6 months to pay off a few things, and to put a healthy cushion between me and having no money. And if I did it for a year I’d have a nice little nest egg. So, I did it. I won’t tell you that I don’t want to quit. That I’d rather be doing something else because of course I would, but it is important to me that I create the life that I want and the only way to do it is to do ‘the work’.

You see, the hardest thing to do is to change behavior especially when you’ve been doing it for years. But when you decide to do your work you create lasting change and place yourself in a better situation not just for you but for everyone in your midst.

“Learn How To Take Your Finances & Life To The Next Level.”

The Live Richer Academy

The Budgetnista

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JoVonna Williams- Conversations With Kai Mann


JoVonna Williams, a mother of three children whose life took a drastic turn at the early age of 29 years old when she was diagnosed with a Rare Auto Immune Condition “Eosinophilic Myenteric Ganglionitis” after undergoing surgery at Cleveland Clinic. She is the Fourth Person in the world to be diagnosed with this condition. Due to the severity of her chronic disease her work career was cut short and she is now on full disability.

JoVonna learned a long time ago that everything that looks bad isn’t always the case. She is currently working on her first book where she will tell her story and share a Testimony that many people won’t understand.

Inspite of JoVonna’s condition she tries to focus her passion on encouraging and helping others. She believes that it is important to give others a since of hope especially when they feel that no one cares about them. Sometimes a kind word and a listening ear can go a long way so she shares and give light along the way to those who need it. She says that God has given her a Gift of Compassion and she uses it to change lives one smile at a time.

Watch the Conversations With Kai Mann show Wednesdays at 7pm EST. Log on to http://www.watchthelivenetwork.com.

 

Kai Mann
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Executive Producer: Kai Mann
Producer: Lenderrick Jones
Creative Director: Yahminah McIntosh

Music: Sunny Day [audioblocks] audioblocks.com

I Feel A Shift In The Atmosphere…


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I feel a shift in the atmosphere…

Have you ever been driving, going on a trip somewhere and you get lost? Before you know it, you have driven miles out of the way and have to turn around to go back and get on the right road. I feel like the atmosphere is shifting, taking us back toward the right direction. I know it doesn’t look like that right now but our movement backwards is taking us back to where we got off the road to love and unity. Somewhere in the 80’s or even earlier maybe, I’m not sure; but our will and capacity to love and support one another has gotten off track. I believe the Universe is designed to shift when we get too far off that road which means that we have to turn around and go back, sometimes past the previous hurt and pain. Sometimes we have to go way out of the way just to get back to the right road and it’s going to be through tough terrain because we went through some rough terrain to get here, but loved ones, we can do it. Change the way that you are looking at what’s going on right now. I challenge you to think solution oriented instead of being sad, hurt, disappointed, disgruntled for too long. I’m not telling you that you can’t be, just don’t stay there. When we do, we increase the number of depression, suicide, trauma and all other negative factors that contribute to our societal woes. These woes have been showing their ugly heads for quite some time now. Let’s not divide ourselves into those who did or those who did not but let’s band together in love and unity to show God, the Universe, or whatever it is that you believe in that we as humans are capable of love. Remember, it’s how you look at a situation that determines how you’ll move from that situation. History has a way of repeating itself but if we’ve grown and evolved as we all say that we have then we should have the answers to our looming perpetual problems. Each of us have been given a purpose in this and when we do what it is that we are passionate about or called to do we’ll win.  The stakes are high! I stress, do what “you’re” called to do and don’t try and make others do what you do, only ask of them for their support in your purpose.

Donald Trump says he’s going to make America Great again but it is not he who will make it great! Painfully we will because we have been forced to, but sometimes that’s the only way that we’ll listen.

 

#letlovereign #peacebestill #heedthecall #walkinyourpurpose #shift

Struggle


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In the past because I am an organizer by Nature and like to keep things orderly and professional I used to have issues when things seemed to be in disarray. To help me get through this issue because the world is not orderly, organized or professional all the time the Creator saw fit to introduce me to one of my biggest challenges.

I worked for a radio station for over a year-and-a-half. We were starting something unique, something that was not going to be done on the scale that we were going to do it. We had such promise. There were many struggles: the equipment didn’t always work as it should, we were late getting on the air, sometimes guests due to time zone differences called in later, we would get to an event and it was not as it was told us that it would be, and there were times we would be missing equipment and would have to run and go purchase it. But those were some of the best times I’ve ever had. I got to work with some amazing people. We made do and of course there were some complaints but that time taught me how to flow through some of the toughest circumstances and not allow the experience to taint whatever we were doing. But most of all I learned that when you’re being Innovative that things will not always go as planned and most of the times that the plans will change after you’ve done a lot of the hard work but when you’re willing to forge ahead instead of it all it creates an intense tenacity and drive in you that it separates the men from the boys. When you’re smart you learn from those experiences and do it better the next time, so I strive to make each project I touch better every time. My strength or Superpower is that I live in a space of innovation and in that space I allow myself to change my mind, to throw away the work, start over, use the work differently, or go with the flow of the Universe. I found that when you’re not stuck to an idea or plan that is where the most creative magic happens and out of it is birthed some of the most beautiful moments in time. If I could change anything I would not, the experience forever solidified that this is what I am to do and I love what I do. #superpower #innovative #trendsetter #empirebuilder

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InkMann Press–The Big Leap


InkMann Press—The Big Leap

Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there, you must be prepared to leap.

Hildegard Von Bingen

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This quote resonates soul deep within me. About a year and a half ago I began to feel like I had this hole inside of me that was profound but that there was this boulder that encompassed the width of it. I couldn’t figure out how to remove the boulder. I knew there was something significant that I had to do and I had to do it now. For if I did not, I was to remain forever stuck. I began to look at my life from the view in which I could see it and although I couldn’t see much, I knew that there was more that life had to offer. Even still there were some effects that I had to remove. It wasn’t as if the life I had was bad. It was good: but I knew that the door had opened to something great. And, if I didn’t step outside that door I would risk everything that I had done up until that point. I decided to leap but before I could, I had to prepare myself first.

When I was in high school I ran track and one of my categories was the long jump. I know that the technique when doing the long jump, the jump itself is only part of the process. So, in preparing to take that leap I knew there were some issues I had to clean up to maximize my distance based on my ability to increase my takeoff speed. I knew the distance between where I was and where I was going was great and I needed the gain of momentum to ensure that I would clear the landing and make it to the other side.

The process or preparation for the jump has been long and arduous. It has been one of soul searching, clearing away of old patterns, and strengthening new ones. The level I was on seem to pale in comparison to where I was going but God had given me a guide. My guide would help me see the path when I couldn’t see where to start. She gave me techniques and drilled me with every ounce of fervor in her being. She coached me into submission and at times I would not like her for it but I knew that I had an obligation to my life to step forward. Often it would give the impression that the runway had moved making it hard to know where to takeoff. I surmised that I was still not ready. I didn’t realize how unprepared I had been for the jump. The exercises were long and grueling but necessary. For some time, it would seem like my feet wanted to move but it was clear they were not ready. The hardest observation in life is wanting to be some place other than where you are but know that you lack the character, stamina, and experience to be anywhere else.

It’s been a year and half and all of the training, technique and preparation is paying off. The distance between where I am and where I want to be is closer than ever. There are still some circuits and drills I am still running but I feel better about the leap and am sure that I can make it.

InkMann Press Series–The Secret Place


InkMann Press Series — The Secret Place

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There comes a time in our lives when the journey calls for complete transformation. This part of the journey is a root deepening and soul defying phase that often asks us to transform in unique ways. In the past we would allow ourselves to get away with behavior unbecoming but when life calls for something more many of us try to answer.

In life we are given a number of opportunities to go deeper within ‘self’ and become the person that we are ultimately destined to be. Sometimes in order to avoid ‘self’ we invite the most unlikely of people or situations into our lives. When we use people to distract us from ourselves we end up stunting our own growth. When this happens it throws us back to the beginning to start over at the same point we were in before we met that unlikely person or began that situation. Basically, because we didn’t take the time to separate ourselves and grow, we remain stagnant.

Sometimes the road to transformation comes because something happened to provoke change or we simply realize its time. Some of us grow through this phase by allowing ourselves time to heal. When we don’t allow healing to occur, we disrupt this phase and it puts us back at the beginning so to speak. Avoiding growth because ‘it’s too hard” is like self-development suicide. Many people never get through the transformational phase because they don’t stay long enough. They either feel they’re ready when they’re not or they think it’s too hard and quit. The transformational phase calls for a mirror so to speak to give us the opportunity of looking at ourselves to work on those under developed areas and bring out our most authentic nature. During this phase where we get to be with ourselves most people opt out because it’s soul work. Soul work requires that we look at ourselves in all areas no matter how tough it is to do so. It’s that vow that you make to yourself to keep going and staying the course because you believe in its reward.

When we do the work and master ourselves we become the hero in our own lives. And like most heroes there is a tale of heroic proportion about what the hero had to do to survive.

In the transformational phase there is this secret place so to speak.  The secret place is where the hero gets nourished, replenished, and energized in order to transform. The secret place offers different stages of each depending upon the level or dimension the hero is embarking upon. During this time the secret place is used as an incubation period. Or like the ‘pupa’ phase of a butterfly. During this phase the cocoon represents the nourishment, lessons, and growth. Although you’re alone working on your work, this phase is most crucial because any change in direction can alter the life of the butterfly.

It is evident that when we do not take the allotted time to learn, grow, and transform that we do not understand the importance of mastering oneself. Finding and mastering yourself before giving to and mastering another teaches you self love at a level that is profound and often unheard of. What I know is that to love and be better for you is to love and be better for others. What value is it to come into anyone’s life and disrupt it by coming in broken or lacking self-development? It profits them nothing more than heartache and pain. When we love others we want the best for them and if we are not the best we must choose to ‘be’ the best. But not before we become the best for ourselves.

When I think about the transformational period I liken it to the stage of preparation. In the midst of transformation is always preparation. This reminds me of Mr. Miyagi and how he prepared Daniel in the ‘Karate Kid’ before his big transformation.  Mr. Miyagi not only taught Daniel karate moves but Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel life lessons while working on his level of understanding. Mr. Miyagi gave Daniel the space to learn his “why” and the significance of it. The Creator does the same thing with us. He prepares us for transformation so that we can walk in our purpose with a full understanding as to ‘why’ we are being transformed. The Creator offers us the opportunity to slow down, to get the lessons, take notes, and grow so that our transformation is lasting and not fleeting.

The way to ensure lasting change is to stay in the moment of where you are. Take the time to get the lessons, write them down, and put them into practice daily. Know that every situation you encounter is a chance to learn something new. Always look for the lesson. When we allow ourselves the spiritual space, God teaches us how and when to move. How you handle the issues of life determine ‘if’ you’re learning or not. Trust me, there will be a test.

When  you’re learning there will always be a quiz and then a test at the end. How you fair is based upon how you studied. The determining factor whether or not you’ll move ahead depends on if you studied for a quiz or if you studied for a test.  The way you study for each is different. When we study for a quiz we learn with short term memory which makes it easy for us to not know the answer days after the quiz. But if you study for a test you study using long term memory because the question could be asked a number of ways and you must be fluent in them all. So again, the difference in the quiz and the test is that you may pass the quiz today but if you were asked the same information again tomorrow you could very well fail. Always study for the test because it defines the points in which you will move to another level or move into a new dimension. It is important not to die on the vine and quit during this phase. Don’t jump out of it, stay the course no matter how tough.

When we work to change the way we think, speak, and act; we summon the courage for mastery. And often mastery calls for us to be unplugged, to get with ‘self’, or be one with spirit in order to move into a new dimension. The way we master ourselves says a lot about who we are. Remember, it takes a hero to master himself.

InkMann Press Series ~ 2015


2015 came wrapped with numerous lessons, blessings, fulfillment and joy. While there were some difficult moments, 2015 has still been amazing. As today marks the last Tuesday in this year, I contemplate on the wisdom I’ve gained while spending most of my time cultivating and preparing for the next dimension of life.

 

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As hindsight is always 20/20 I see how those lessons will later tie into my life now. I won’t lie and say that the lessons that require you to utilize more faith aren’t the hardest. They are, but when you want more, you realize that you have to do more.  I believe that 2015 brought in a need for everyone to do more. We were all encouraged to do something different from a soul level. A Soul level would require a complete transformation. The soul level always wins out for those who cannot settle. Especially a soul that thinks in dreams with vivid pictures that capture the mind’s eye to allow at any moment a peek into what will be your future if you dare try.

I am proud of the many accomplishments that I’ve made this year. I’ve been granted the opportunity to expand and grow so I did.  And for that I am proud. My creativity and thoughts have expanded because I’ve worked hard to get the lessons. While some areas have grown tremendously, others are still growing. I count it all joy for every experience has been beautiful.

How has your 2015 been? Share some of the lessons you’ve learned with me.