Afraid


In the past

I’ve been afraid

Afraid to say “I need more”

thinking that you’d

think I was weak

Been afraid to be ‘happy’

thought I didn’t

deserve it

not really

I never said it

to myself

at least not out loud

but all of my

actions said so

carrying old wounds

scars

bruises

and

bites

like a wounded SOULjah

Every piece of negativity

stuck to me

but I wouldn’t

allow myself

to feel it

so I wore it

like a badge of HONOR

today I’m scraping off

dead skin

and picking sores

I know it sounds gross

it is

I’m letting myself

feel

and

deciding what I

want to do with that emotion

by evoking some

personal healing

“Heal thyself”

is all I

can think

of

it’s not easy though

you have to tell on

yourself

to yourself

be HONEST

and deal from a different

level

you gotta open yourself

more than you ever

have

checking with you

to see how you

feel

so you don’t

get lost

Been lost

a lot

too old for that

don’t have

long enough

for it

either

But I  now choose

“Happy”

I remind myself when I forget. ~ KaiologyInk

#Kaism #Kai2pointO

Open Your Eyes


You can’t watch it if you’re

closing your eyes

you’ve got to see it to

get it

“Don’t close your eyes”

Go back and see

what you’ve done so

you can understand

where you are

right now

Sometimes I

want to close my eyes

too afraid to see if

I’ve made a mistake

why I do that

why can’t I

just look

at it like the eyes of non-judgment

It’s okay if it’s not perfect

something tells me it’s okay…

It’s okay

 

Live Today


Live today

like it’s going to be

your last

whatever it is

that you

want to do

That  takes a lot

because you have to

realize

that

that moment

could be

the last

first of all

And

to ask yourself

what would you like to do

with it

and

be okay with whatever

it is

at that moment

How many times

have you wanted

to do something

but were afraid

to do it

you gotta get past

that

to live

like it’s the last day

of your life

every moment

I wonder if

it’s worth it

Light or Darkness


Imprints on my heart

Can be seen as scars

Light

seen as

Darkness

Too afraid

To walk in it

because it doesn’t

seem natural

It’s not the way

others would go

but

The risk

is necessary

to be

Different

to do something more

Called

to impart words

Called

to ask questions

Called

to produce thoughts

Light or darkness

Walk in without fear

I just want to say it


 

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I don’t feel afraid

Not really

I just want to

Just put it all down

It’s funny who wants to be there

But can’t

I just want to

To be there

Be there for it all

I feel so open

so free

Past Thoughts: July 29, 2013


I was talking to my partner about people having love and being too afraid of putting themselves out there because of the what-ifs in life. What if tomorrow we’re no longer together or our situation changes? So, what if it does? We should still show how we feel today, live in the moment of love and appreciate it for what it is when it is. Things are in a constant state of change and what if you show life that you’re in love and it changes for the better and not for the worse that we think that it might.Hand