Know Thyself


know-thyself

Four or Five years ago, I had someone tell me that they thought I was aloof. I agreed with them and added that life had given me a unique skill; the skill to detach from things quickly. I could’ve at that time took what that person said as negative but I knew who I was then and I most definitely know who I am now. Life has taught me plenty of lessons but the first lesson at two years old was that people leave and everyone around will compensate in some way for that loss. The way that you compensate will either propel you into success or hurl you into defeat. The difference is if you look at what happened ‘to’ you instead of what happened ‘for’ you.

What happened for me when I was two years old would define me for the rest of my life. We can’t change what happens to us but we can decide how we will let it work for us. I consider being aloof a gift. I take pride in the fact that I can distance myself from situations and sometimes people if need be. If I had not learned that skill early on I would not have been able to accomplish all that I have thus far. Can you imagine stopping for everything that happens ‘to’ you instead of ‘for’ you? When you stop for things ‘for’ you, you understand there is a lesson in it so you look for the lesson to help propel you further in life. You use ‘it’ instead of letting it use ‘you’.

Imagine listening to every insult someone says about you or waiting for the other shoe to drop? How much can you accomplish if you’re stopping to defend yourself and your actions. I find it hard to lose ground when you keep moving. Remember, it’s hard to hit a moving target.

Often when people get distracted it’s because they are paying attention to things that don’t really matter. When they try to get back into focus they find it hard because there has been damage done. Credibility loss, lack of maturity shown, or some other flaw has been revealed. It’s okay to reveal your flaws but its best once you have overcome them.

It probably sounds cold but in the grand scheme of all things being accomplished you must learn who you are and use it to your advantage. Never let what someone says about you define you in a negative way. You decide how you will be defined and walk in it confidently.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Twitter: @kaiology

Instagram: @kaiology

InkMann Press–Paying Attention


Love, honor, and cherish the spaces that you find yourself in, for life can change rather quickly.–Kai Mann

PicsArt_11-23-08.43.31

 

 

I have found myself in a space of take-it-all-in’edness. I know that’s not a word but it so describes the spirit I am in. I have been paying attention to what the Universe has given me privilege to partake in and to view from the seat of my own soul. Perceptions and perspectives have changed over the last twelve months allowing my spirit to open wide with transformative intentions. I would be lying if I said the entire twelve months I have gone willingly. You would have thought I would; I would’ve thought I would, but there were parts of me unwilling to open the eyes of my understanding to see past my own lids. Some things I fought against like a child holding on to its last days of childhood forbidding going into adulthood. That part of me has decreased today as the more adult me is able to talk the child into moving forward when the motion is necessary out of future pain or suffering.

 

You see, rarely do we understand that what we might feel now will not compare to what we’ll feel later if we do not move when the opportunity presents itself. If you’ve ever gotten the chance to live when others have not: or to witness life happen to someone else in a way that if misconstrued you’d get the rest of life  all wrong, then you knew that it was purpose. It was purpose that granted you access to see the view at the top of the mountain, to tell a story, to learn a lesson, or to help someone else. I thank God that I have been able to see and feel life from a different vantage point. A vantage point, that if I had not seen correctly, I would’ve missed the advantage.

 

For most of my life I hated to see people about to get into trouble, be in pain, or anything that could hurt them. I’d turn away. I couldn’t even watch a movie that I could feel the protagonist’s trouble before it happened and would get up to go do something so I wouldn’t have to watch that part of the movie. My DNA is programmed to want others to win and when it would look as if they weren’t I would turn my head away so as not to see them lose. One thing I had failed to realize was that I hated to see my own self lose. I’d turn my head away from me when I felt I was about to get into trouble, make a mistake, or be in pain just so I wouldn’t have to witness it.

 

Today what I have learned from that behavior was that the pre-warned feelings were giving me the opportunity to change course, correct my sail, or to just do something different. I hadn’t realized that my instincts were protecting me so I wouldn’t have to experience whatever trouble, mistake, or pain so drastically. Me diverting my attention or closing my eyes would cause the most intense pain because I’d still have to drive right through it even with eyes wide shut making the devastation much worse.

 

On a different street but in the same neighborhood I too realized that shying away from the experiences of others would leave me hallow. To live life as a shell of a person who lacked depth because she had denied herself the privilege of experiencing life through the eyes of another. I can’t say that it has been easy but the connections I have made just opening myself up to experiencing my own life, as well as the lives of others, has added value to my soul. No longer will I allow myself to miss out on the moments for fear that they may turn ugly, when all of life is so beautiful.

Weaknesses


We all come into this world

who we are meant to be

the longer we live we’re

supposed to learn how

to use those gifts inside of us

to maneuver in the world

Some gifts seem like weaknesses

but they aren’t

they are really your strengths

when you discover

how to use your weaknesses

to your advantage

instead of trying

to exchange that present

you were given

in for another

Some of us get those

presumed weaknesses beat out of us

by others who don’t see them as gifts

and we lose who we are

living life like they want

you’re not happy

You know that they believe

who you are

isn’t right

so you try to conform

knowing damn well

you want to be

doing something

different

Silly…