Healing From The Past -Part 2


Dealing and Healing
They say that in order to heal you first have to deal so I took a look at the cards I had dealt myself over the past 20 years and honestly, I saw some things that I didn’t like. Although this began 20 years ago I still had to look at those experiences because they were effecting my now and the infinite possibilities of my future.  The best part about this is that even though I had lots of time alone, I wasn’t really alone. On the road to dealing there was a beautiful spirit that was by my side to help me navigate the terrain I was embarking upon. And without judgment she offered me a beautiful space to rest from my weary travels and to unpack all the bags I had been carrying. This has been the most candid that I have been with myself and with someone else. From the beginning she and I would vow to do something different in the relationship that we hadn’t done in others which was to be honest, and to tell each other everything. So we did, and when I did she would go in deep asking tough questions that at times I wasn’t even sure I had answers to.  Patiently she would wait while I went back to that time to enlist thoughts I might’ve been thinking bringing out some truths that were difficult to chew on let alone swallow.  However, she offered me bite sizes while providing me with love and support and encouraging me when I needed it most. When she or I were sharing our truths the thought of the one leaving the other because of it never crossed our minds. We knew what we wanted to build and we knew that it would take everything we had and neither of us was willing to settle for anything less than our best and we would do whatever we had to do to have it. After hearing my truth she asked questions like “Do you know why you would date someone who had children after your decision to leave yours behind?” assisting me in assessing some of the reasons as to why I made some of the decisions in relationships that I had made. “Do you believe that you were trying to recreate the family you once had or the one you wanted to have?” I would need rest after some of our talks because I would be so tired from digging so deep for hours that I would immediately go to sleep after hanging up the phone. We’d do this for almost two years meanwhile I would pray that I offered her the same amount of attention, love, and support in her growth and evolution that she allowed me.  And, in conversation she would tell me that I did.
This relationship was a true compliment to me in every area of my life so much so that I grew in areas that I didn’t even know I needed to grow in and my businesses took off because of it.  We would talk through schisms that we would have which in the beginning was difficult for me to do.  I never realized my lack of maturity in relationships and how my communication skills lacked and had to ultimately be taken to another level. She was no nonsense about our relationship and was not allowing us to sweep things under the rug or skip over any issue. She taught me to deal with them as they came so they would not affect us down the road.  Everything that I thought I knew about relationships was challenged; my relationship with myself, with my children, and with my partner. I felt like I was in the military (in basic training), everything that I thought I knew about myself seemed to be old news and had to be discarded. I was being deprogrammed from outdated thinking, reduced to a blank canvas, and all the new information that was left offered a foundation in which to build upon.
We have no idea how much the Universe conspires to help us. The Creator always sends you what you are ready for but often we don’t even know what we’re ready for especially when it looks like work. I had been sending out an S.O.S. for years and finally my ship came in and I was ready to board. While it was right in front of me of course I couldn’t just walk on I had to clean up some stuff, I had to reduce the baggage in my life once again, and I had to understand where it was that I had been so that I would have a clear vision for where it was that I was going. You see, you can get on any ship any day and go any where but to be aligned with the right ship at the right time is at its best a miracle and I believe that the Creator had done that in my life, performed a miracle.

I Feel A Shift In The Atmosphere…


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I feel a shift in the atmosphere…

Have you ever been driving, going on a trip somewhere and you get lost? Before you know it, you have driven miles out of the way and have to turn around to go back and get on the right road. I feel like the atmosphere is shifting, taking us back toward the right direction. I know it doesn’t look like that right now but our movement backwards is taking us back to where we got off the road to love and unity. Somewhere in the 80’s or even earlier maybe, I’m not sure; but our will and capacity to love and support one another has gotten off track. I believe the Universe is designed to shift when we get too far off that road which means that we have to turn around and go back, sometimes past the previous hurt and pain. Sometimes we have to go way out of the way just to get back to the right road and it’s going to be through tough terrain because we went through some rough terrain to get here, but loved ones, we can do it. Change the way that you are looking at what’s going on right now. I challenge you to think solution oriented instead of being sad, hurt, disappointed, disgruntled for too long. I’m not telling you that you can’t be, just don’t stay there. When we do, we increase the number of depression, suicide, trauma and all other negative factors that contribute to our societal woes. These woes have been showing their ugly heads for quite some time now. Let’s not divide ourselves into those who did or those who did not but let’s band together in love and unity to show God, the Universe, or whatever it is that you believe in that we as humans are capable of love. Remember, it’s how you look at a situation that determines how you’ll move from that situation. History has a way of repeating itself but if we’ve grown and evolved as we all say that we have then we should have the answers to our looming perpetual problems. Each of us have been given a purpose in this and when we do what it is that we are passionate about or called to do we’ll win.  The stakes are high! I stress, do what “you’re” called to do and don’t try and make others do what you do, only ask of them for their support in your purpose.

Donald Trump says he’s going to make America Great again but it is not he who will make it great! Painfully we will because we have been forced to, but sometimes that’s the only way that we’ll listen.

 

#letlovereign #peacebestill #heedthecall #walkinyourpurpose #shift

Q & A–The Eyeology INC Way


13561833_271548746541272_154350629_n(1)Q. You talked about the ideal client for your company being “coachable”. Can you explain that a little more in-depth for me.

A. Yes. If you ask most of us if we’re ready to move to the next level or dimension, our immediate response is ‘yes’. Most of us believe that we’re ready of course; but when you are working with a coach and she begins to tap into some of our immature spaces how ready we are will reveal itself instantaneously. Everyone has some immature spaces: spaces that haven’t been developed yet. But someone who is “coachable’ says “I realize my under-developed areas, I will acknowledge them, and will work on them instead of challenging the person coaching them. “Coachable” individuals are willing to look in the mirror, stare if necessary (no matter how hard it is), and say to the coach “Okay, show me how to work on these areas so I can become stronger and use these areas to my advantage.” Sometimes individuals seem to be coachable in the beginning but the deeper rooted the under-developed area is the harder they fight against changing it and that’s when you find it harder to work with them because they will usually give up before their break-through. Some of us would rather give an excuse for why that area is weak instead of work to fix it or will make their sessions a financial issue so as to have an excuse why they can’t work on them. Someone who is coachable is willing to lay themselves open, bare if they must, in order to move to the next level. They will find a way to continue their services because they realize that the reward is bigger than the sacrifice. It comes down to how bad you want it.

#selfdevelopment #lifecoach #businesscoach #brandstrategist #lifestrategist #lifestrategy #coaching #branding101 #branding #selfgrowth#selflove

13649390_1620298304927907_2066188281_nQ. Why would someone need a Coach or Strategist?
A. The benefits of having a Life Coach or Strategist is the difference between probability and certainty. They help you in life, business, and even branding if you have one. As a life coach they work to strengthen your under-developed areas. A Life Coach will assist you in deciding life paths, and will help you to create a life plan as well as a financial one if needed. As a business Coach they assist you in goal setting, business decisions, creating a business model, and framework for your business as well as infrastructure. A Brand Strategist will give you a blend of life, imagery, and projectory to develop structure and build your brand, and to establish your brand personality while helping you to construct networking strategies, concepts, and ideas. Strategy is necessary to produce desired experiences and results. A phenomenal strategist will flow between all three; life, business, and brand to actualize maximum results. So, anyone wanting to be better, do better, and have more would want a life, business, or brand strategist on their team; Someone to talk to and help you to execute thoughts and ideas. Our (Eyeology INC) Strategist continually seeks new information regarding ‘all’ matters so that she can advise you properly.

#coach #lifecoach #lifestrategy #businessstrategy #branding #selfdevelopment #selflove #selfgrowth #networking #lifeplan #strategist

http://eyeologyinc.com

 

13627964_711015695702821_497374204_nQ. How long should it take to gain followers or likes?

A. With the exception of being famous or a celebrity; organically it should take you awhile to get followers and ultimately consistent likes unless you buy them and then you can have as many as you like as quick as you like. But, just like any great relationship it takes time to build. Do your due diligence to create your tribe of loyal followers and you’ll obtain the likes by being authentically you. Create awesome content that reflects who you are and what you’re about and you’ll draw others interested in the same expressions to you.

#branding101 #strategy #brandstrategy #likes #follows #contentisking #organic #authentic #socialmedia #socialmediaidentity #brandidentity
eyeologyinc.com

13724724_313171242353470_1527194606_nQ. How does your Brand Concierge services work?

A. Well, handling your business while developing and managing your brand is essential to your overall success. We help you become more effective and efficient while handling your day to day functions and unique business needs. What that means is that as you work to craft your gift, we take care of your brand. Eyeology INC will schedule your appointments; hire coaches, editors, graphic designers, web designers, videographers, buffers, stylists, book car services, make travel arrangements, handle your small business invoicing… just to name a few services. We collaborate with reputable vendors to get the services that you need at an exclusive rate so all you have to do is show up. “We help you put the pieces together”
#brandconcierge #lifecoach #coaches #strategists #graphicdesigners #webdesigners #stylists #carservice #brand #vendors #buffers #stylists #videographers

http://www.eyeologyinc.com/Services.html

13740926_1849137545315009_20880901_nQ. I am looking for a certain type of client and I don’t want to offend anyone who is not that type of client. How do I attract the type of client that I am looking for?

A. First, be sure that your product or service can sustain that type of client and then go where that client is. Be specific. If you’re looking for high-end (exclusive) clients then know where they shop, what they buy, down to what they look like and go where they are. There is nothing to be ashamed of when asking for what you know you’re worth or the type of client who knows the value of your product or service. (And there is nothing wrong with not wanting to beg for what someone owes you either.) Place yourself in spaces where those clients live and breathe. Also, it doesn’t hurt to know others in your field that may serve a wider range of clients that can help that person or brand. This way the client can still get what they need (just not from you), but you will have added value to them by giving them the name of someone who would be able to do the service for them at a lower rate. Always add value to everyone you come in contact with whether you can help them or not.
#brandingonabudget #branding #marketing #promotions #coaching #brandandlifestyle #highendclient #exclusiveclient #eyeologyinc #brandconcierge #brandeducation #branding101 #clients
http://www.eyeologyinc.com/

13658433_1556885007951769_1424179749_nQ. I always support other people but they don’t support me. How do I get others to support me?
A. Find your tribe. Just because you support others you cannot expect them to support you. If you write books about serials killers, murders, erotica, and insatiable acts and all the people in your circle are Christians is it fair to ask them to support what you write when you know they don’t agree with it? Find your tribe. Find people who like what you like, do what you do, and can relate to what you write. If your friends only post inspirational and motivational quotes and pictures and you post Memes that degrade women or totally contradicts what they post you can’t really expect them to go against their authentic nature. Again, find people who post the same as you, you’re more likely to get the support you’re looking for.

#authors #books #writing #support #findyourtribe #eyeologyinc

eyeologyinc.com

 

What Are We Doing To One Another


2 sistahs

Sistahs where is the love, what are we doing to one another?

Spewing hurtful words and throwing out blanket statements mostly under cover

Looking each other in the eye and not speaking; just plain ole’ disrespect

I know you’re not security but it’s each other’s heart that you’ve got to protect

Loose lips quick to yell “I am a woman” but actions say “You’re a child”

Still being mean and hateful underneath a fake smile

Going hard on each other making it worse when other parties are involved

Taking murderous shots at one another’s lives like a mystery to be solved

Making grown up decisions with minds of an adolescent

Our age says “grown” but our motivation says “pubescent”

Hating on each other for things we are unwilling to do

Unyielding to bear each others cross or walk a mile in each other’s shoes

Stirring up pots with no spoon in hand to bear

Playing instigator because we don’t seem to care

Pitting one another against the other to get the action started

Not willing to be a Moses and remember why the Red Seas parted

Showing our young girls that it’s better to fight each other

Especially for your man or some piece of a brother

Instead of teaching when they fight they should be standing side by side

Standing up for new causes like that of sisterly pride

Teach them to love one another because we’re all that we’ve got

To support one another because each of us individually rocks

To honor one another because each of them hold the keys

That if they stuck together none of them would have any needs

Sistahs let’s find the love and stop doing bad things to one another

Let’s change the game and begin to be each other’s cover

#IAmMySistersKeeper

A Lesson In Friendship~My Sister’s Keeper


I posted last week how I was given the opportunity to speak to a group of young ladies.  Well, during the conversation with them I asked “What is the best thing to do if I have an issue with her (pointing to their coach), talk to her or tell someone else?” Well, a couple of the girls said “tell someone else.” I then asked “Why” and one of the young ladies said “Well, wouldn’t that hurt her feelings?”  I said what do you think would hurt more, me telling her (again pointing to their coach) and saying “There is something that you do that bothers me” or telling someone else, then she hears it from them and of course, have more maybe added to it?”  I could see the light bulbs come on.

I told these young ladies that most of us are pretty much let go into the world without real lessons in how to be a friend so we emulate what we see others do. The awful part about this is that most of us continue to do the same when we become women.

Today, I got to thinking “When you talk behind someone’s back is it that you’re being nasty or that you really don’t want that person to know how you really feel?”  The one thing that I told these young ladies is that when you tell someone how you really feel, you allow them the opportunity to fix the problem. If you don’t tell them, you don’t allow them to fix it. Giving someone the opportunity of knowing how you feel about something and even if they tell you that they can’t fix it, at least now you know that it’s something they can’t help or they don’t want to fix, either way you know the reason and you can move on from there.  But in the grand scheme of things, why wouldn’t someone really try to fix something that you don’t like?  It’s all about intentions. Do you want the problem to go away or not? Are you willing to fix it or not?

When we become our sister’s keepers we begin to treat each other with respect. We won’t seek to hurt each other with our words or actions. Of course, this will not happen overnight but the goal is to consciously give thought to how we should treat one another before we take action.

My Little Sister’s Keeper


Today was an awesome day!  But before I tell you about why it was so awesome I have to share with you my slip up. If you’ve been following my blog then you know that I am working to better myself so that I can become my sister’s keeper.  First I have to tell you a little about me. I tell you it’s not really easy sharing my faults with people but in order for me to be better and do better I’ve got to put it all out there.

When I’m learning a new task I am the kind of person that can hear something once and I’ve got it; as long as it’s something that’s in my line of work.  You don’t have to go into extra detail about why it should be done a particular way because more often than not I have an idea of why a task should be done a certain way. If someone is going into details with a long drawn out conversation my mind will go someplace else. I promise I don’t have adult ADD, I just have so much going on in my mind that it will say “Hey, we already know this” so it will choose to think about something else.  When someone starts talking about something I already have an idea of my mind will change course. The saying take what you need and throw away what you don’t is true with my brain! LOL!

Well, here is the kicker. I have to remind myself that everyone is not like me. Sometimes when the shoe is on the other foot and I’m the one in the teaching mode I have to be more detailed and give more information.  Sometimes this is hard because if I believe a person should already know this, I can get a little impatient. Today I realized that I can be a little condescending as well. Guess what? I had to pop myself with the rubber band and I also had to apologize for my behavior. I was being condescending to my sister and I felt it and although she didn’t say anything it was my job to not only recognize it, call myself out, and apologize for it. So that was today’s slip up!

Now, on to the awesomeness!  A couple of weeks ago a co-worker who I’ve been talking to about my goal of becoming my sister’s keeper (the same one I was being condescending to  earlier today) asked me to talk with her freshman volleyball team that she coaches. She said that she wanted me to talk to them because I’m always positive. (Maybe she didn’t really mean always) Anyway, she wanted me to talk with these young ladies because of the negative atmosphere that they were creating at practice. Some of the girls were non-supportive, talking about each other, and being mean to one another.  When she asked me if I did speaking engagements I laughed because I thought she was joking but when she said she was serious, I agreed to do it. Although I’ve been speaking out loud in my car and around the house about what I would say to these young ladies for the past couple of days, I have to admit that I was a little anxious.

Before I left work and headed to the girls’ practice I prayed. I prayed that the Creator would give me the words to speak to these young ladies and to let them see him and not me.  On the way there I was listening to the CD from The Gospel soundtrack. By the time I got to the girls practice I was ready. The words just flowed! I got down on the floor with them and as an ice breaker I asked them about the reality TV shows that they all had been watching and to tell me something positive from those shows. When I tell you that I was so proud of myself when I was done speaking with them that would be an understatement. I was so proud that the Creator chose me. Me of all people.  The one who was condescending earlier. And the one who isn’t perfect. Talking with them confirmed for me that the Creator can use anyone. He could have chosen someone more articulate, or someone who specializes in these types of issues. But he allowed me to be the one and that’s why my day was so awesome!

Below is the song that I was listening to on my way to speak with the team.

Don’t Let It Change You


Don’t Let It Change You…

You have to become the type of person that even if others don’t support you the way that you support them; that you won’t change because of it.

There is a reason you have the kind of spirit (Heart) that you have. (God gave it to you) You MUST learn how to use it and when. The only problem is that your gift didn’t come with instructions so you must learn through experience.

Don’t let it change you…