Don’t Get Sucked In


me, GROWING AND PROUD OF MYSELF.

This morning I sit and create with the thoughts that God gave me. I am reminded of two videos I started working on for a client late yesterday and how to top them off. And then, my thoughts go to a meeting that I have on Monday. At the end of this meeting we get to talk about what good thing happened to us since the last meeting. I contemplate how I have been privy to see people’s real intentions as of late. Although it’s been longer than 30 days this entire year so far has been about communication. Mainly mine. Preparation began for this during the third quarter of 2017 where the focus was on Self talk, Self-expression, how I communicate with others and respond to their actions. I’ve been privileged to see people for who they really are but the key hasn’t been about them but about me. What will I do with the information and how will I react. Knowing someone’s real intentions or feelings and not reacting with hate, malice, or judgement of their thoughts, actions, or intentions tells more about you than them. These past 30 days has been allowing this knowledge to turn into wisdom.

Late last year a private email of a co-worker was somehow sent to me. It was an email between herself and her fiancé about me “acting black”. I was hurt and felt a bit disturbed because I had not seen this coming. Was I distracted? How did I not know that she felt some kind of way about black people? She and I laugh together, finish each other’s songs and watch some of the same shows together that have mostly black characters. When I checked my email when I got in the office that morning, I remember sitting and reading it over and over. I originally thought that she meant to forward the email to someone else in the office, but I thought “no”, because that person has blacks in their family, so I don’t think that it was meant for them. When she came in the office I calmly waited for her to get situated after we said, “Good morning” and then I asked if she had anything that she wanted to tell me. She said “No.” I then forwarded her email back to her and asked her to check her email. She did and instead of speaking with me about it she immediately went to our boss. I felt slighted once again, like why couldn’t you and I just talk about this. Maybe she thought that I was going to fly off the handle. I didn’t. I was shook but I realized that I had been prepared for this the night before when speaking to a friend about something she was creating called “Just say it”.  My friend created a platform called “Just say it” where people can have a safe space to just say how they really feel. She felt that this was a way for us to begin to learn about how we really feel and about others and how they feel. She thought it was a way for all of us to heal and I agreed so which meant if I really felt that way this situation I found myself currently in would allow for me to react in a different manner and so, I did.

I’ve previously written about how people come up to me and just start telling me intimate stories of their lives and how I feel that it is part of my purpose here on earth to allow people to have a safe space to say things that they couldn’t otherwise say to someone else or maybe for them to release those things.  There too are people who just come up to me and say out of the way things as well to me about me that many people would just go off about and I don’t. I realize that when people come up to me that I am a light, a refuge of sort and that light will draw anyone who needs it even those who don’t know how to respond to it. It’s not about me it’s about them. So even when people come up to me who I don’t know and say something about what I’m wearing or even what I’m doing I’ve come to understand that it’s about them and not me so don’t get upset or angry in response.

When all my energy is not focused or directed in a specific place I am open to the energy fields of those around me. It’s a good thing at times because I can feel when someone needs something which could just mean that in that moment they feel afraid and just need for someone to stand with them. I feel that, and I stand with them without saying that I feel that they do. On the opposite of that I’ve been able to feel people’s negative intentions or feelings where I am concerned as well. It is normal when you can feel someone’s disdain, dislike, displeasure or ill-intentions towards you to want to be on the defense so that you can defend yourself, but I realize there is no need. The key is to remain in a space of love. People often get sucked in thinking that you must defend or shield yourself from someone else’s actions, but the key is to be able to hold a space of love in your heart even when you know the truth. Remember, it’s not about you, it’s about them but how you react is all about you. I believe you should love yourself enough to react differently so that you’re not disappointed later by your actions.

Anytime that we find out how someone truly feels about us we can focus all our energy on being prepared for their next move and how to one-up them or we can focus our energy on how we want to react. Our reactions say more about where we are in our lives. It says if we’ve mastered a level where we walk in reaction to others, being pulled in every direction or if we are strong enough to resist the urge of those low-level things and can now move to the next level. It’s who you’ve said that you wanted to be, it’s hard to be it but you can’t just say it and not mean it or work to be it.

Saying who you are and being that person takes two different types of energy. We strive to be that person who has mastered those things, so we say that we are but it’s almost like saying we are because it sounds good but with no real intent or action to do the work it takes to be it. We’ve heard others say it and it sounds good on them, so we feel we must say it too but don’t have a real concept of it, what it looks like or even why we should say it or even be it for that matter. If you’ve ever worked in a call center you know that you work from a script. Everyone is supposed to say the same thing. In a call center you can hear everyone’s conversation and occasionally, someone will deviate from the script and what they’ve said sounds good and you hear yourself say “That sounds good, I’m going to say that the next time too.” So, the next time you’re in that situation where those words fit you say them. You don’t know why other than it just sounds good so you said it.

I listen to teachings on YouTube while I work because I work a lot and don’t get to read often. Sometimes at work I’m so focused on what they’re saying in the YouTube video that I’m listening to that I don’t always hear what’s going on around me. It hasn’t always been because I don’t get to read often but also to be honest, mostly to retreat from what’s going on around me at the same time. For some time now, I’ve been allowing myself a little time to focus less on that and tuning in to some of the frequencies around me and I sometimes feel the negative intentions or feelings of others when they walk past. Sometimes it can be hard to feel their energy and not match it but again, I don’t want to be pulled into the madness of others, my goal is to maintain my own frequency even in chaos or ill-feelings or intent. Some days I win and others I don’t even if it is not said aloud, anytime when I allow my feelings to match theirs I’ve lost.

Little by little for the last month I’ve been packing to move. I’ve been working so much that I waited until the last minute to find a place. However, God saw fit to bless me to not be homeless and be able to move from one place to another seamlessly, so I thought. My new leasing office called me to say that my new apartment will not be ready on the 15th as planned, something came up and that it won’t be ready until the 19th. They said they would try to find another apartment and would let me know by the end of the day if they could. I didn’t get shaken I just said “This is going to be difficult as I have to be out of my current place on the 15th and would have to spend extra money to store my belongings and find a hotel to stay for the four days. At that time, they let me know that I should be able to stay at my current apartment for four extra days, so I called my current leasing office. When I called to ask the person that I usually speak with when I have problems she was not there. I asked to speak to her because not only is she the manager but when I’ve had to pay my rent late I’ve called and spoke with her. Her not being there was alignment working at its best. There was a gentleman who answered the phone who was new. After telling me the manager wasn’t in I told him what my situation was, and he told me that they basically had to let me stay it’s in my signed contract but that he would let the manager know what my issue was and have her to call me. Well, the new leasing office was not able to turn-around another apartment, so they called to let me know. The next morning, I called my current leasing office again and the person I wanted to speak with the day prior answered the phone. I asked her if she received my message, she said she had and that I was on her list to call back. She asked me if it was possible for them to have my apartment ready on the 15th and I told her no that they had an issue with the tub and had to send out for a new one and that it wouldn’t be ready until the 19th. I told her that I had nowhere else to go and that I needed to remain in my apartment until the 19th. She told me that was unfortunate as I was slated to move on the 15th and she had tenants moving in. The tone she used was one I had not heard before, so I told her that I was told because I had signed an agreement with your company that I would be allowed to stay the additional days. Not allowing her tone to affect mine. She then began to change her tone because I had a piece of information that she didn’t know that I had and said “Well, let me see what I can do. I’ll try to find another apartment for the tenants and I’ll let you know later today.” It’s funny how all this time I thought she was a fair person and I often gave her praises and thanked her for being such. Finding out that she would’ve pushed me out of my apartment taking advantage of my lack of information had I not known that because I signed an agreement with the leasing company that I could stay additional days made me feel some kind of way when I got off the phone with her. Later that day she called and left a voicemail message saying that “I could stay until the 19th but that they would need the keys by noon that day.” That was jarring for me to know that she would’ve put me out knowing that I had nowhere else to go because I didn’t know that I could’ve stayed. I thanked God for giving me insider information prior to speaking with her and then I asked myself “How will you handle this when you see her?” Remember, this says more about her than it does me but how I choose to handle this now says more about me than it does her.

The moral to these stories is that I’m really beginning to understand self-love on another level. Loving myself means that I chose to be a better person as the opportunity presents. That I chose to communicate on a higher frequency. That even with new information I can still choose to live in peace. In peace with myself, my actions, and my responses. That I can choose my energy and what I will focus on. That I have the power to love myself in such a way that I don’t need to disappoint myself and over react to situations to prove that love. That every time that I do, it makes me stronger and more powerful.

 

me, I AM GROWING AND I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.

 

 

 

Kai-ology….The study of Kai

 

I am A Seeker


Just a few facts about the nature of who I am so that you may better understand me, my posts, my actions, or lack of action in some cases.
I am a seeker. I seek truth and a deeper meaning to life through spirituality. I don’t mind telling my truth and I am anything but superficial about it. If I am wrong, I never have a problem saying that I am, apologizing and trying to effect change to move forward from that wrong. I can be a loner at times as I truly prefer deeper conversation and stimulation, however that does not mean that I don’t like to laugh. As a matter of fact, I can be really silly at times. I don’t mind confrontation as I know it to be a way of growth and change if we are to do so especially when done correctly. If you’ve been a part of my social sphere for at least 3 or more years you’ll notice that I have been in a constant state of change and transformation. I am committed to a life of transformation; dying, resurrecting, and regenerating. It is a part of who I am as a person, I came into this world this way and I tend to at times be obsessive about that change and transformation especially in times of feeling stuck. So, balance is always important to me. My posts somewhat strategic in nature are always designed to inspire thought and self love, more so to get us to think more about our own power and nature and truly love who we are. I also try to inspire others to keep going. It is my way of having a closer connection with others who are seeking the same but may need some confirmation, support or empowerment. There are parts of me that some people may not like as I can come of self centered but I am not. (I used to come off as self-righteous and I was.) However, I love people and I’m most interested in their growth. Sometimes who I am can come off as cold or emotionless because I am severely focused and at times that leaves no room for much else but that which I am focused upon. It is never my intention to make anyone else feel like they don’t matter but I border on obsessive when I am trying to accomplish something. On the flip side of things I am not afraid of the darker side of life. I understand the yin and yang of life, so I have the ability to examine and explore those parts of me, others, and different forms of spirituality to get a better understanding of life. (This part of me is newly recognized. I used to be afraid, something that had to do with religion) I understand that everything in life is not always good or bad in which the law of duality explains. And that life isn’t always on the up, as the law of rhythm states that the pendulum swings both ways. We must be able to deal with both sides of the swing. But, I have always had a great need to work, walk, and delve into the things of the spirit that represent consciousness to a higher level. I am always looking to learn more. I seek knowledge wherever I can find it to help me tap into my higher self because I believe there is always more. I constantly challenge myself and others to look at ourselves in a way that encourages and promote self love, self growth and self-evolution whatever that may mean for each of us. For me this has caused me to transform at different periods during life, leaving some to know a different Kai that may no longer exist. But my posts pretty much say it all. If you’d like to know more I’m always available but not through inbox, messenger or DM’s. I’m not hard to find though. #transformation#transmutation #inspiration #seeker #seekerforlife#truth #lawofduality #lawofrhythm #universallaws#selflove #selfgrowth #selfevolution

Healing From The Past- Part 3


As I move deeper into this journey my passion to seek a higher me has escalated to deepening and widening my search. I have been meditating more, reading the Bible as well as different books , listening to YouTube videos on the law of attraction (Abraham-Hicks), and watching Documentaries about spirituality. I am determined to find a way to tap more into the inner me so that I may begin to live from a point of abundance. This is my nature and has always been a part of my life in some way, shape, or form. I am a seeker of self, and always willing to go higher, but this time it’s different.

There are 4 more days until my birthday and usually during this season I am contemplative as a practice. But what I have come to understand is that this contemplative state that I have been pursuing has been going on now for about five years. The need to find a deeper meaning to who I am, my purpose and how to move into the next dimension of my life has me on a journey of miraculous growth and evolution. I’ve sat in thought and mulled over these past couple of years and asked myself “When do you think that you started this transition” only because I was thinking the process was taking too long. It is, but it is okay. You see, in past times I have been able to get the lessons quicker but now it takes more time than usual to get to the root of who I am, helping me to bring out the core. If I could soak my soul into the very lessons that I am learning and have it to become sheer manifestation I would but it will take more than that. If my intentions became like air that one breathes without thought I will have tamed and mastered the beast that is me.

I have come to believe that the lessons are different this time because this is not a transition or move from one level to the next, this feels as if I am moving from one dimension to the next. My emotions are fluctuating in as much as I feel like I’m winning one day and maybe feeling the uncertainty that can make you feel overwhelmed the next. Having feelings that can make one seem immature or even lost at times can break open your spirit. We think that we know ourselves but who we are changes, grows, and evolves as we move through different terrain. Never having gone this way before there seems to be no real GPS except to say, “Now go this way” at the exact point of the turn. Who I have believed myself to be has been challenged to the point of asking “Who am I now”.  Currently when I look in the mirror I see a different me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I’m not willing to turn back though. I find the courage with each step to keep moving forward feeling like I am walking in the wilderness. The forest is thick with barely enough light, but I know it is coming soon so I keep moving. I am determined to let go and shed my old self but honestly, the emotionality of it all is vast. Holding up mirrors to oneself and having the courage to not look away as you discover the truths to the past and your now experience makes you long for the future. However, I am learning to love the contrast that is before me even though at times it can be painful. Soul opening to be exact, but I recognize the reasons for its nature to insist that I evolve. Growing pains aint’ got nothing on this but I’d wouldn’t change any of it for I know when it is over I will be “new”.

 

 

Conversations With Kai Mann- Calvin Thompson


It’s time to renew your mind! Tonight we talk mental health with author and Mental Health Technician Calvin Thompson. Listen in as we talk mental health from a text book, personal, and a spiritual perspective.

Watch Conversations With Kai Mann Wednesdays at 7:00pm EST on the Live Network. Log on to http://www.watchthelivenetwork.com

Calvin Thompson
https://calvinthompsonblog.wordpress.com
Facebook: @calvinthompson
Twitter: @Calcutta417

Videography & Editing by: Lenderrick Jones [Focus One Entertainment]
Music By: Arnav Sristava
Song: King’s Castle

Creative Director: Yahminah McIntosh
Producer: Kai Mann

Twitter: @converskaimann
Instagram: @conversationswithkaimann
Facebook: @conversationswithkaimann

Conversations With Kai Mann


“This fall life changing conversations begin on “Conversations With Kai Mann”

Join Kai Mann this fall on the “Conversations With Kai Mann show” as she bridges the gaps by bringing to you sensational interviews with guests who will share their stories and messages of success, life, love, hope, faith, spirituality, and transformation.

Host: Kai Mann
Bio
As a writer and conversationalist she is both positive and purposeful. Her keen ability to provoke thought, trigger change and enlighten the lives of others has catapulted her to a literary and media success. Whether it’s in the form of a blog post or article, Facebook status or tweet, internet talk show or webseries, Kai Mann uses her platform to empower and educate followers around the world about the nature of self love, self growth, and the importance of self equity that leads to authentic change and infinite transformation.

 

Author Feature~ Calvin Thompson


IMG_0010 copyThe last time you looked into the mirror, what did you see?

When I look in the mirror I feel as though I am looking into my soul and I see myself on a continuum a reflection of someone that I have known for a long time. I look back over the years and the diverse experiences that I have had and yet I am still here. The entire lifespan and all that it entailed the people that were a part of those experiences the things that I have done saw and the diverse feelings and emotions these are the things that allowed me to be the man that I am.

 

The rich history the thrill of victory the agony of defeat. The laughter the tears the elation the grief. The times when I didn’t know what was going to become of me but yet I sang within myself the hymn how I got over. The eyes truly are the mirror to the soul. How I would look into my eyes and talk to the Lord asking for guidance and deliverance from myself and you know what that is something I still do today.

 

As it is written when I reflect I am always going inward as it is often stated depression is going inward and getting stuck. In contrast in the form of meditation reflection is going inward and getting a resolution. There is a part of us that has to become whole or complete there is a void that we have to resolve or reconcile with that is why reflection or introspection is so important. We must go inward to the depths of our soul to the bottom of our heart to come to a better understanding of our self.

 

The best agent we have for us is ourselves and the most adversity is faced when we go against ourselves. So when I look in the mirror I have to learn to love myself in spite of myself. To encourage myself whether I receive it from others or not. Also to believe in myself whether others believe in me or not. To trust myself and to be true to myself. As it is stated this is not as good as it get know the best is yet to come if I only believe. I know for a fact that God did not bring me this far to leave me alone.

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Bio

Calvin Thompson is a native Detroiter who was influenced by the soulful liberating consciousness of the turbulent yet trans-formative consciousness of the 60’s.  In his writings and his speeches you see and feel the passion of the need for liberation but not of a political genre but the quest for something greater as an awareness of who you really are. That not only do you need economic and political liberation but to truly be free one must go to the next level in your thinking. There is a new day and a new consciousness becoming more apparent today. So in his breakthrough book you can see and feel his passion to take the struggle to new frontiers and beyond the limitations that we impose upon ourselves.

 

As evident in his writings is a recurring theme that it is our time. We can and will be transformed by the renewal of our mind. If there is any one that knows the value of experiencing an transformation it is the writer himself. Having experienced tragedy and triumph toils and snares having gone through the mental health care system during early adulthood and to return to that system as a health care provider. To have achieved a degree in Psychology as well as doing extensive independent research in the area of motivation and personal development. Additionally to be appointed to the title of Minister so not only he does bring years of experience to his writings in the area of Psychology but he fuses or infuse his writing with a wealth of spiritual insight as well.

Stay Connected to Calvin Thompson:

website: Calvin Thompson

Twitter: Calcutta417

Facebook: Calvin Thompson 

Just Write~September 13, 2013


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You ever feel like all that you are and all that you know is changing underneath your feet? I’ve heard for many years about the Creator being the potter and we’re the clay but today, I am totally feeling it.  I feel like I’m being stretched, pulled, and shaped into something brand new and most times it is very uncomfortable but I know that it’s for my good.

Those around me may not know that something is going on looking from the outside in, but my spirit is changing.  For about the last nine or ten years I’ve asked the Creator to give me the ability to discern other people’s spirits. I asked of this because I knew that I needed the ability to do so if I were to move forward in life quicker and not be at a standstill or a loss because I had closed my eyes to the world around me. In my past life it took me longer to recover from not seeing people and things for who and what they were because I had walked through life blindly and when the shoe dropped I had acted as if I didn’t see it coming. To me, the spirit of discernment is just the ability to see things for what they are, make the best decision possible, and act upon that decision.

I have seen what I believe are distinct instances into the characteristics of some people around me and it is hard sometimes to not want to allow a person chance after chance to get it right, especially after you’ve told them who you are and what you will and will not allow. Often they make light of it or disrespect it. Not blatantly but in a get over it or yourself type of way by ignoring your words and continue to do the same as before you so stated.  I will them to see me and to get who I am but it is not always so, I move on. In my discernment I recognize that I don’t have time to wait for those around me to get it because I’m trying to get it myself.  My thought is, even if you don’t get it, respect it, and respect me. I came to the conclusion that not all, but many paths in my life I’ve allowed others to decide how they wanted to see me and I then acted accordingly or never corrected them. Now, life is about being better to me and finding out what feels right for me. I say for, and not to because they are not always the same. What’s right for me doesn’t always immediately feel good to me.

I never understood the concept of saying “so and so is trying to hold me back,” well I don’t know what the circumstances surrounding anyone else has been but I believe that the people holding me back could possibly be me. I say it could possibly be me because although there are instances where I’ve noticed the forcefulness of others to try to pull me into their world; I’ve had to resist the temptation to do so. And when I couldn’t or shall I say didn’t, I was left to pick up pieces of myself. It can be hard because it either feels like you’re being insensitive to their needs, or you’re being selfish, or that you’re being rude by not indulging them. Trust me, I don’t use the term forceful lightly either. When people don’t respect your boundaries or who you are, it feels like they are forcing you to either conform to what they want and not what you need. It is a pulling away of your soul. The sad part is that I don’t think that people recognize that they are tearing you away from your soul in order to change you into what they prefer. At least I’d rather think that they don’t know because the other thought would be way too much to bear.

Don’t Let It Change You


Don’t Let It Change You…

You have to become the type of person that even if others don’t support you the way that you support them; that you won’t change because of it.

There is a reason you have the kind of spirit (Heart) that you have. (God gave it to you) You MUST learn how to use it and when. The only problem is that your gift didn’t come with instructions so you must learn through experience.

Don’t let it change you…

30 Day Notice Book Signing & Reading


Save the date: Sunday: July 22, 2012 @ 4pm 30 Day Notice book signing & reading at Textures by Nefertiti salon at 4147 Cass Avenue in Detroit!

So what’s that big smile on your face?”

“Man, I’m just excited about the business plans that I have been putting together. It seems to be falling into place.”

“What plans?”

“Well, you know how I love women and think that they should be pampered mentally and physically, right?”

“Yeah, Rico Suave!”

I laughed and said, “Well, for a long time I had been thinking about owning a salon. Not just any salon but one where women could be consciously beautified in mind, body, and spirit. I have finally laid out my plans to the T.”

“So, tell me what these plans are.”

“Well, you know how women go to a salon and they pretty much spend their entire day there?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I came up with an idea to hit all angles. Conscious Rootz is what I want to call it! When you walk in off of the street a set of double frosted glass doors will lead them into the most beautiful reception area with soft sensual colors and soothing music. There will be a cornflower blue round sofa that seats six in the middle of the reception area with two Shryley couches that sit on either side of the wall. I want women to feel like they are the most beautiful Queens on the planet when they walk in. They’ll be catered to from the time they enter in until they leave out.” I could barely stop running my mouth and didn’t for another ten, fifteen minutes while I laid out my vision in front of my friend.

30 Day Notice ©2011