InkMann Press–Paying Attention


Love, honor, and cherish the spaces that you find yourself in, for life can change rather quickly.–Kai Mann

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I have found myself in a space of take-it-all-in’edness. I know that’s not a word but it so describes the spirit I am in. I have been paying attention to what the Universe has given me privilege to partake in and to view from the seat of my own soul. Perceptions and perspectives have changed over the last twelve months allowing my spirit to open wide with transformative intentions. I would be lying if I said the entire twelve months I have gone willingly. You would have thought I would; I would’ve thought I would, but there were parts of me unwilling to open the eyes of my understanding to see past my own lids. Some things I fought against like a child holding on to its last days of childhood forbidding going into adulthood. That part of me has decreased today as the more adult me is able to talk the child into moving forward when the motion is necessary out of future pain or suffering.

 

You see, rarely do we understand that what we might feel now will not compare to what we’ll feel later if we do not move when the opportunity presents itself. If you’ve ever gotten the chance to live when others have not: or to witness life happen to someone else in a way that if misconstrued you’d get the rest of life  all wrong, then you knew that it was purpose. It was purpose that granted you access to see the view at the top of the mountain, to tell a story, to learn a lesson, or to help someone else. I thank God that I have been able to see and feel life from a different vantage point. A vantage point, that if I had not seen correctly, I would’ve missed the advantage.

 

For most of my life I hated to see people about to get into trouble, be in pain, or anything that could hurt them. I’d turn away. I couldn’t even watch a movie that I could feel the protagonist’s trouble before it happened and would get up to go do something so I wouldn’t have to watch that part of the movie. My DNA is programmed to want others to win and when it would look as if they weren’t I would turn my head away so as not to see them lose. One thing I had failed to realize was that I hated to see my own self lose. I’d turn my head away from me when I felt I was about to get into trouble, make a mistake, or be in pain just so I wouldn’t have to witness it.

 

Today what I have learned from that behavior was that the pre-warned feelings were giving me the opportunity to change course, correct my sail, or to just do something different. I hadn’t realized that my instincts were protecting me so I wouldn’t have to experience whatever trouble, mistake, or pain so drastically. Me diverting my attention or closing my eyes would cause the most intense pain because I’d still have to drive right through it even with eyes wide shut making the devastation much worse.

 

On a different street but in the same neighborhood I too realized that shying away from the experiences of others would leave me hallow. To live life as a shell of a person who lacked depth because she had denied herself the privilege of experiencing life through the eyes of another. I can’t say that it has been easy but the connections I have made just opening myself up to experiencing my own life, as well as the lives of others, has added value to my soul. No longer will I allow myself to miss out on the moments for fear that they may turn ugly, when all of life is so beautiful.

Author Feature ~ Victor ‘Billione’ Walker


Tell us your favorite book, but don’t tell us the name of the book until

the end of the blog post.

 

Billione1

 

When I read those words, something in me shook uncontrollably until I fell

dramatically onto the floor of my apartment in Ypsilanti, Michigan. I

remember that day. No one was there but me, but it felt as if my ancestors

were with me, and had delivered a love note to me, passed down through the

ages that said I was not unusual.

 

I am straight forward, demanding, and direct. However, I am also shy,

observant and compassionate. I am a great number of complex things, but

most of all, I recognize that I, just like everyone I know, have been

enacting a story that if not changed will destroy the earth.

 

No one told me this; I felt it from the moment I was born. Much like the

narrator of this book, I sought a teacher who could help me make sense of

that hum of culture’s mythology in my ear. I have been held captive by this

mythology and have always been looking for a way out.

 

From this book, I learned that I no longer have to be at war with the

earth, my community, or myself. This book was given to me as a gift from a

close friend. In fact, many of the most powerful books I’ve read were given

to me as gifts, suggesting to me they have come down from the ages and

chose me¾ but I digress.

 

What would you say if I told you a telepathic gorilla changed the way I saw

the world and everything with it? You would call me crazy, I’m sure.

However, I indeed learned that all things in the world are necessary and

dependent on each other and if humans continue to destroy everything we

touch, there will be no hope for any of us.

 

The only way I can describe my favorite book is to tell you that the

journey is an individual experience that will either anger you or liberate

you. There is no way to read it and rest in the gray area: Either you will

love it or you will hate it, but you will feel passionate either way.

 

I’ve read it at least 10 times and find it to be moving every time. It has

reshaped my thinking and helped me evolve hoe I approach issues in my life.

If you ever want to truly get into my head and see how I think and what

motivates me, read this book and embark on a path that changes everyone

that steps foot on it.

 

The author is Daniel Quinn and my favorite book is entitled Ishmael.

 

Author: Victor ‘Billione’ Walker

Twitter: @Billione

Facebook: getbillione

Website: http://getbillione.com

Book: No Tea No Shade

No Tea No Shade