I am A Seeker


Just a few facts about the nature of who I am so that you may better understand me, my posts, my actions, or lack of action in some cases.
I am a seeker. I seek truth and a deeper meaning to life through spirituality. I don’t mind telling my truth and I am anything but superficial about it. If I am wrong, I never have a problem saying that I am, apologizing and trying to effect change to move forward from that wrong. I can be a loner at times as I truly prefer deeper conversation and stimulation, however that does not mean that I don’t like to laugh. As a matter of fact, I can be really silly at times. I don’t mind confrontation as I know it to be a way of growth and change if we are to do so especially when done correctly. If you’ve been a part of my social sphere for at least 3 or more years you’ll notice that I have been in a constant state of change and transformation. I am committed to a life of transformation; dying, resurrecting, and regenerating. It is a part of who I am as a person, I came into this world this way and I tend to at times be obsessive about that change and transformation especially in times of feeling stuck. So, balance is always important to me. My posts somewhat strategic in nature are always designed to inspire thought and self love, more so to get us to think more about our own power and nature and truly love who we are. I also try to inspire others to keep going. It is my way of having a closer connection with others who are seeking the same but may need some confirmation, support or empowerment. There are parts of me that some people may not like as I can come of self centered but I am not. (I used to come off as self-righteous and I was.) However, I love people and I’m most interested in their growth. Sometimes who I am can come off as cold or emotionless because I am severely focused and at times that leaves no room for much else but that which I am focused upon. It is never my intention to make anyone else feel like they don’t matter but I border on obsessive when I am trying to accomplish something. On the flip side of things I am not afraid of the darker side of life. I understand the yin and yang of life, so I have the ability to examine and explore those parts of me, others, and different forms of spirituality to get a better understanding of life. (This part of me is newly recognized. I used to be afraid, something that had to do with religion) I understand that everything in life is not always good or bad in which the law of duality explains. And that life isn’t always on the up, as the law of rhythm states that the pendulum swings both ways. We must be able to deal with both sides of the swing. But, I have always had a great need to work, walk, and delve into the things of the spirit that represent consciousness to a higher level. I am always looking to learn more. I seek knowledge wherever I can find it to help me tap into my higher self because I believe there is always more. I constantly challenge myself and others to look at ourselves in a way that encourages and promote self love, self growth and self-evolution whatever that may mean for each of us. For me this has caused me to transform at different periods during life, leaving some to know a different Kai that may no longer exist. But my posts pretty much say it all. If you’d like to know more I’m always available but not through inbox, messenger or DM’s. I’m not hard to find though. #transformation#transmutation #inspiration #seeker #seekerforlife#truth #lawofduality #lawofrhythm #universallaws#selflove #selfgrowth #selfevolution

Healing From The Past- Part 3


As I move deeper into this journey my passion to seek a higher me has escalated to deepening and widening my search. I have been meditating more, reading the Bible as well as different books , listening to YouTube videos on the law of attraction (Abraham-Hicks), and watching Documentaries about spirituality. I am determined to find a way to tap more into the inner me so that I may begin to live from a point of abundance. This is my nature and has always been a part of my life in some way, shape, or form. I am a seeker of self, and always willing to go higher, but this time it’s different.

There are 4 more days until my birthday and usually during this season I am contemplative as a practice. But what I have come to understand is that this contemplative state that I have been pursuing has been going on now for about five years. The need to find a deeper meaning to who I am, my purpose and how to move into the next dimension of my life has me on a journey of miraculous growth and evolution. I’ve sat in thought and mulled over these past couple of years and asked myself “When do you think that you started this transition” only because I was thinking the process was taking too long. It is, but it is okay. You see, in past times I have been able to get the lessons quicker but now it takes more time than usual to get to the root of who I am, helping me to bring out the core. If I could soak my soul into the very lessons that I am learning and have it to become sheer manifestation I would but it will take more than that. If my intentions became like air that one breathes without thought I will have tamed and mastered the beast that is me.

I have come to believe that the lessons are different this time because this is not a transition or move from one level to the next, this feels as if I am moving from one dimension to the next. My emotions are fluctuating in as much as I feel like I’m winning one day and maybe feeling the uncertainty that can make you feel overwhelmed the next. Having feelings that can make one seem immature or even lost at times can break open your spirit. We think that we know ourselves but who we are changes, grows, and evolves as we move through different terrain. Never having gone this way before there seems to be no real GPS except to say, “Now go this way” at the exact point of the turn. Who I have believed myself to be has been challenged to the point of asking “Who am I now”.  Currently when I look in the mirror I see a different me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I’m not willing to turn back though. I find the courage with each step to keep moving forward feeling like I am walking in the wilderness. The forest is thick with barely enough light, but I know it is coming soon so I keep moving. I am determined to let go and shed my old self but honestly, the emotionality of it all is vast. Holding up mirrors to oneself and having the courage to not look away as you discover the truths to the past and your now experience makes you long for the future. However, I am learning to love the contrast that is before me even though at times it can be painful. Soul opening to be exact, but I recognize the reasons for its nature to insist that I evolve. Growing pains aint’ got nothing on this but I’d wouldn’t change any of it for I know when it is over I will be “new”.