Should I say something or not?


Last year when I was thinking about topics to write about the subject I’m going to speak on today was on that list.  It was one of the first things I wanted to speak on but if you have been reading my blogs you know that I’ve decided to go deeper within, so I haven’t been posting blogs as much. Well, a couple of days ago I was privy to be apart of an experience that reminded me about this subject and thought now is as good of a time as any.

First, I want to speak on love. Love should be an integral part of any conversation and I want to start off by saying that when we speak in and with love we have the audacity to not only change lives but to change worlds. Ours and others. Love of course begins with ourselves but when we know the depth and what it truly means to love ourselves, the truth, honesty and purity of that love can then be truly offered to another. Love is what we should offer to those we know but the true innerstanding of love goes even further to extend itself to those we don’t know.

Love covers a multitude of foolishness, ignorance, judgement, and anything else that one might consider sinful or just offensive; but it also heals them as well. Mainly because we want the best for everyone around us and if we truly understand that statement we have to innerstand that means EVERYone including those we don’t know. That’s where the next thing I want to talk about comes in; Wisdom. Wisdom is not saying something wise but placing the action behind the wise words we choose to speak. Wisdom, although a noun takes action by acting upon the knowledge, experience, insight and common sense that it has obtained to build a better world for itself and ultimately for others. We can quote beautifully placed words all day long but if we don’t have any action behind them they are just words that don’t build worlds. If you believe that you want your world to be different start placing action behind your words and see how the wisdom plays out.

IMG_20180617_061642_201Now, we have all heard someone say something that was misguided, misinformed, incorrect, or could be considered foolishness or ignorant and NOT said a thing. We have all been guilty at not saying something when we should have. Most often we don’t say anything because we think it’s not our business, our spirit didn’t lead us to say anything, we knew we were being judgmental, or we were afraid of the person’s reaction.  All of these are good reasons when you’re not walking in love and wisdom. But when you are walking in love and not that ole’ fake kind of love where you “say” you love people but as soon as they are out of earshot you have something to say about them, or what they’ve said or done, or maybe you even run and tell someone else or post it on Facebook instead of talking to the person themselves. But when you truly ‘LOVE’ people you can’t help but want to help them or want better for them. When you are truly walking in wisdom you know that even if they aren’t directly related to you that they still reflect you in some way or another and them not having the best information possible could affect you later down the line.  Think it’s not true, then you’re misinformed. Everything we do or don’t do has an influence on everyone else on the planet. We are all connected.  If I don’t take care of my children and they hurt someone else and then that person hurts someone else or becomes effected by that person who my child originally hurt will later down the line come back and affect me in some way.  Another example, if I have information that could help someone else that doesn’t have that information their lack of knowledge in that area will affect me some way and most times it is in your taxes that you pay; welfare is one way it comes back to you but there are many other ways that you end up paying for someone else’s lack of knowledge if you are truly picking up what I am putting down.

So, to say it’s not your business isn’t accurate, it is. Now, for many of us who say “My spirit” or “The Spirit” didn’t lead me to say anything, that is not an excuse. You’re not going to always be ‘led’ by the Spirit otherwise you wouldn’t have to ‘do’ anything the ‘Spirit’ would just do it for you. Sometimes it is up to you to do the right thing without having to be ‘led’ to do it. We have to get out of that childish mentality and begin to grow up and no longer be led by the hand to say something or do something that we know needs to be done or said. Sometimes you are placed in a situation because you have the information to give to someone and if you don’t give it to them they will go without until they have to experience something that teaches them that knowledge and usually this is out of pain and suffering or later someone else will have to give it to them. But you don’t know if that someone else is you. Sometimes someone has to plant the seed, another comes to water it, and someone else may give it a little sun light so it can grow.  You may not feel it so, but it’s like having food and someone is hungry, and you decide not to feed them because it’s not your place or you weren’t ‘led’ to feed them. People are starving on this planet and I’m not talking physically, but mentally and spiritually and not giving them the necessary mental or spiritual nourishment or guidance that sometimes can only come from someone else is more of a reflection on you than it is on them. Have you ever asked yourself why you were the person with the information was privileged to hear the statement, especially if it seems coincidental because you didn’t even know the person. It was because you both were Divinely guided to the place that you both are on that date, day and time. Sometimes we are given situations especially after we say that we want to be placed in situations where we can help others.  Help comes in many forms and sometimes it’s information that gives the person who doesn’t have it the opportunity to get the help they need.

When we use the being led by the Spirit excuse it makes me wonder about the authenticity of our spirit. If you’re a Jesus lover and I use this because most people say that they love them some Jesus. And I’m not picking on anyone, I’m using this as an example. Even Jesus said that you will do greater works than he (John 14:12). What if Jesus who sat at the well to tell someone about themselves didn’t have the courage or said he wasn’t led by the Spirit to do it that day, or it wasn’t his business? (John 4:1-19) You can’t say “Well, he was Jesus”, and YOU who are greater by HIS standards.

Judgment is another reason we don’t say anything. It’s because we are totally judging that person and our intentions are foul and unloving. It goes back to loving people and wanting the best for them. When you love them, all people, you give them the information but when you are judging them you go back and tell everyone else the information that they should’ve gotten and mock or make fun of them because they don’t know it and call it ‘sharing’ wisdom with others. We have to choose to love every time. And remember love doesn’t stand in judgement. (Please know I can say all of this because I have done all of this myself and I know what it is. I know what it looks like, feels like and smells like because I have said all of these things and used them all as excuses to not be the one to say something.)

I too know what it’s like to be afraid to share truth with someone; lacking the courage and saying that I wasn’t led because I was unsure of their response. Are they going to come out of a bag on me or are they going to receive what it is that I’m saying. It can be scary but what’s even more scary is that person continues to say, think, or believe that what they are saying is accurate because no one cared enough to give them more information is scarier. Earlier I spoke about two things; love and wisdom. Wisdom is having all the information, knowledge and experience and using it. Love allows you to use that wisdom and share it with others so that they don’t have to go through some of the pain and suffering that you had to go through to experience and learn it. When we come from a place of love people can feel that. Most often when you lovingly share information with someone else they can hear you but when you’re coming from a place of judgment and uncertainty of whether you should say something or not they can feel that too and will not hear anything that you are saying.  We cannot truly say that we are wise until using that wisdom we have begun to share it with others effectively because wisdom is effective, shrewd, and profound. It knows the right words to use to gain someone’s attention. It knows where they are coming from, where they are heading, and how to help them on to a different path if necessary. It does not come from a place of empty vain words or ego. It shares with love because it knows that love is the purest place to share from. It is the only place that one can truly be heard from.

Now, I’m not saying that someone may not come out of a bag on you because their frequency is low that they can’t even hear you but even if they do you know that in wisdom you have given them the information. Whether they come out of a bag or not you have given them more information that they can now make better and more informed choices and decisions with. It is up to them to use it or not.

 

 

Let The Dead Bury The Dead


Okay, so if you follow me on Facebook you know that I post quite a bit of questions, “be mindful” quotes, inspirational flyers and posts to inspire thought. Recently I posted “Let the dead bury the dead”. This was actually posted after I was thinking about Easter and the concept of, traditionalized, and ritualistic events that we partake of during this season.  I wondered if “Jesus” would rather us focus on going within and finding our purpose and what we came to do rather than celebrating his death and resurrection. I wondered if he thought we were too focused on dead things. Dead rituals, dead traditions, dead relationships, and that only the dead could continue to bury the dead year after year, generation after generation. At what point do we begin to do something different realizing the state of the dead walking. And then I started thinking about the concept of Jesus…anyway, my thoughts can sometimes go deeper so rather than posting all of that I just posted “let the dead bury the dead” wondering what others would think of that statement. After posting it I had a family member reply with a bit of concern. I’m laughing at it now because I can see how some could be concerned if their perception of me was depressive. Well, I stated that I was okay and basically that the post was about perception. But this actually got me to thinking after it was said that I’ve given the perception that I was serious. It is no perception at all, I am serious. I’ve always been that way. Don’t get me wrong, that is not the total sum of who I am, but I have always had a serious nature. To really love me you have to know me and not the perception of who you believe me to be.

Many of us say “you don’t know me” and it’s just a thing that is said to another when questioned about an act or deed when something out of the norm was done. But I realized that no one outside of my partner and God really knows me. I believe that my life’s purpose is to be a change, or transformations agent if you will, and my higher self has sown the seeds within my platform of self-love, self-growth, and self-development. A lot of my posts on social media has been about others and what they think, encouraging and empowering them. As a person with a Scorpionic nature I could be called secretive but that’s not who I am really. I share much of me through my writing but those things that are deep I have reserved for the space that call for them. Which normally means for those who too enjoy the more deep, thoughtful conversations and have a need for me to share them. My apple cart would be to have more of these type conversations as this is where I feel most at home.

In my life, I have been the person that people come tell their deepest secrets to. I’m not kidding either, I have people walk up to me in stores or wherever and just start talking to me and telling me intimate things about them. For many I have been the person that has been an ear, the secret keeper, a voice of reason, or given to wisdom. But during this time, no one has really asked me outside of my partner, about me. What do I like, what do I think, what do I need, what do I feel? That is my role within this universe, what I agreed to before I came here and I don’t take it lightly, nor do I bitch and moan about it because that is why I am here; but I believe that I do begin to wonder when people assume that I am one way or given to a perception that I am another way because they never asked.

I then began to think about the relationships that I have with people who are family members and those that would call me friend, I realized that even if they are associated with me by blood, some sort of friendship, or business relationship that they don’t really know me at all. They’ve felt close to me because I have encouraged, supported, filled a void or space in their lives but there has not been much reciprocation. For my family members, they know me from whatever age we last had interaction and for most people that’s who you still are.  I’ve walked a lone path for much of my life. Not lonely or alone, just lone. I am not uncomfortable with this part of me. It has been who I have been for most of my life. It was who I was groomed to be. It was who I circumstantially was destined to be, this is my assignment and I am okay with it. So, not for myself but for others to see, I did a post that said I would give a $100 to the person who could answer all six questions, only because I knew no one could. I wanted to dissolve a perception that I believe people have of me. And these were they:

  1. Why did I change my name to Kai?
  2. What makes me laugh?
  3. What makes me cry?
  4. What is my favorite day of the week?
  5. What has the last 5 years been like for me?
  6. What am I most proud of?

 

 

2017 A Year Of Reconciliation


When it is time to be alone everyone you know will disappear. Not in the definition of vanishing and that you are unsure of where they are, or that you yourself didn’t have something to do with their disappearance but it will happen because it is time.  When it is time for you to take in account for the life that you have created you must reconcile the balances of deposits and withdrawals you have taken or given. There is a Divine space of Contemplation of what is, what was, and how it all has affected you, and the people who have walked in the same spaces with you. 2017 has been that year for me, a year of reconciliation. A year to reconcile or balance the accounts and transactions that I have made throughout the years.

The first step was reconciling the discrepancies and over 49 years there have been many. You see, when you reconcile a discrepancy it begins with the date a transaction was done. This relates to the stories we have told ourselves since the transactions, to account for and balance them. We may have reconciled it since that date with ourselves but if there was anyone else involved it must also be reconciled with them as well. When this happens the story usually changes because listening you now hear it from their perspective and can garner a full picture. This picture usually changes from what your limited vision has been to seeing a picture in its entirety. A 360 view. Now, seeing everything, you must come to grips with what you will do with the picture you now see.

As 2017 progressed I’ve been going over my life piece by piece. Dealing with one thing at a time; myself, my children, my family, my relationships, and friendships. What I feel as each part of my life has been called to be reconciled I’ve learned that I’ve walked in a space of what borders on selfishness and abandonment depending on the side of the road that I am walking and on what day. No matter the time or day, it is surely the time to be reconciled with all my past actions. The scales of life are now balanced, and the time of judgement is now due. This judgement I exact upon myself as the consequences of life bears down on me.  It bears down not in a fit of angry rage but of truth, and genuine conversations and thought. No malice or ill-will intended, the bearing down comes from wanting to feel lighter as I move into this next phase of life and try to understand the breadth of what is weighing me down. And without hesitation or apprehension I resist not the bearing down as I have demanded of my higher self to know and understand more, and this bearing down comes as a result of what has transpired.

The time has come for me to see with full vision how the other half has lived. While being in a state of what was deemed as “Saving myself” so that I could still be here to enjoy life with each of my pieces I believe that I detoured which left some to fend for themselves. As each piece would come to full view there became an overwhelming state of shame and guilt as I could see some of the devastation that was left behind. Although normal to feel guilt and shame, I knew too that in order to move forward it too was okay to let those feelings go, but not before apologizing for the past hurt, or what could have felt like betrayal, or disloyalty on my part.

It’s tough to stand at full attention, dropping ego to the floor, and at times your own feelings so that you can hold on to the weight of their feelings, and emotions while hearing their and your story from the place where they stood. What felt like unconditional love to me was that there has never been any judgement of me, to me, from their lips. Just stories of what happened on their journeys. They never held me in contempt or condemnation, never yelled, or spoke in a condescending tone: They just told me the story. I thank God for that because I didn’t want to be made to feel worse by them or by me for that matter. Sometimes when we make it about us we demand that they make us feel guilty, or more guilt so that we can bear the weight of what happened. There is little time nor energy for that. We have all been through something but the realization of it all is to continue to learn from, grow, and evolve those stories to make new and better ones. I cannot thank them enough for their handling of me in my mishandling of them.

As I continue to allow myself to be opened however it comes, I don’t feel gutted, but I can speak with honesty and saying that sometimes as I see me at some stages of life, I don’t like me.  I don’t like the me that left in the manner in which I did. I don’t like the me that detoured from the spontaneity of life and checked out on the people that mattered. I know that I didn’t do it on purpose, and I know that I did it with limited knowledge, sight, and vision but I do wish that I had done it differently. But even so, when I think about that statement I know that if I had, I wouldn’t be the same person that I am now, having the same experiences that I am now and who’s to say that they would’ve been better or worse. This is life. The one that I chose, and I believe that I have the capacity to live it and that is what I am going to do. So, I continue to allow self to be opened, taught, displayed, grown, evolved, and ultimately transfigured because one thing that I am sure of is that this ‘is’ what I put here to do.

 

 

 

 

Healing From The Past -Part 2


Dealing and Healing
They say that in order to heal you first have to deal so I took a look at the cards I had dealt myself over the past 20 years and honestly, I saw some things that I didn’t like. Although this began 20 years ago I still had to look at those experiences because they were effecting my now and the infinite possibilities of my future.  The best part about this is that even though I had lots of time alone, I wasn’t really alone. On the road to dealing there was a beautiful spirit that was by my side to help me navigate the terrain I was embarking upon. And without judgment she offered me a beautiful space to rest from my weary travels and to unpack all the bags I had been carrying. This has been the most candid that I have been with myself and with someone else. From the beginning she and I would vow to do something different in the relationship that we hadn’t done in others which was to be honest, and to tell each other everything. So we did, and when I did she would go in deep asking tough questions that at times I wasn’t even sure I had answers to.  Patiently she would wait while I went back to that time to enlist thoughts I might’ve been thinking bringing out some truths that were difficult to chew on let alone swallow.  However, she offered me bite sizes while providing me with love and support and encouraging me when I needed it most. When she or I were sharing our truths the thought of the one leaving the other because of it never crossed our minds. We knew what we wanted to build and we knew that it would take everything we had and neither of us was willing to settle for anything less than our best and we would do whatever we had to do to have it. After hearing my truth she asked questions like “Do you know why you would date someone who had children after your decision to leave yours behind?” assisting me in assessing some of the reasons as to why I made some of the decisions in relationships that I had made. “Do you believe that you were trying to recreate the family you once had or the one you wanted to have?” I would need rest after some of our talks because I would be so tired from digging so deep for hours that I would immediately go to sleep after hanging up the phone. We’d do this for almost two years meanwhile I would pray that I offered her the same amount of attention, love, and support in her growth and evolution that she allowed me.  And, in conversation she would tell me that I did.
This relationship was a true compliment to me in every area of my life so much so that I grew in areas that I didn’t even know I needed to grow in and my businesses took off because of it.  We would talk through schisms that we would have which in the beginning was difficult for me to do.  I never realized my lack of maturity in relationships and how my communication skills lacked and had to ultimately be taken to another level. She was no nonsense about our relationship and was not allowing us to sweep things under the rug or skip over any issue. She taught me to deal with them as they came so they would not affect us down the road.  Everything that I thought I knew about relationships was challenged; my relationship with myself, with my children, and with my partner. I felt like I was in the military (in basic training), everything that I thought I knew about myself seemed to be old news and had to be discarded. I was being deprogrammed from outdated thinking, reduced to a blank canvas, and all the new information that was left offered a foundation in which to build upon.
We have no idea how much the Universe conspires to help us. The Creator always sends you what you are ready for but often we don’t even know what we’re ready for especially when it looks like work. I had been sending out an S.O.S. for years and finally my ship came in and I was ready to board. While it was right in front of me of course I couldn’t just walk on I had to clean up some stuff, I had to reduce the baggage in my life once again, and I had to understand where it was that I had been so that I would have a clear vision for where it was that I was going. You see, you can get on any ship any day and go any where but to be aligned with the right ship at the right time is at its best a miracle and I believe that the Creator had done that in my life, performed a miracle.

Dr Shawn -Conversations With Kai Mann S2:E2


Have you ever wondered why when Mr. or Ms. Right comes along you still treat them like Mr. or Ms. Wrong? On Wednesday, August 9th we had one of the most honest and authentic conversations with Dr. Shawn a licensed professional counselor and psychologist. Dr. Shawn’s candid conversation about life and love opens the Conversations With Kai Mann show up for another level of thought. Join us for heartfelt conversation with Dr. Shawn.

Dr. Shawn
Website: www.drshawnthelpc.com

Conversations With Kai Mann
Twitter: @converskaimann
Instagram: @conversationswithkaimann
Facebook: @conversationswithkaimann

Executive Producer: Kai Mann
Producer: Lenderrick Jones
Creative Director: Yahminah McIntosh

Theme Music: Sunny Day [audiojungle.com]

Who Taught You How To Love


love
[ləv]

NOUN
an intense feeling of deep affection:
used to express affectionate approval for someone:
VERB
feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone):

I’ve been thinking a lot about love these days and have been talking to a few people about it as well.
I hear or even read that many women and men complain about the treatment of, lack of attention, or the way in which someone “loves” them and I think to myself often “no one probably taught them how to love”. Many of us don’t know the ins and outs about love; how to cultivate, nurture, and create a safe space for it to grow. Unless your parents taught you, you probably taught yourself by guaging what someone else did. When I started looking at my own life I realized that if I had to look at all of the relationships I’ve seen over my lifetime and use them as a concept for how to love I’d fail, as I had previously done at love many times before. For many of us, no one has sat us down to teach us about love, how to love, and even what it means to love. Or what’s the most effective communications in love. Often, we just like someone, chase after them and fall what we consider “in love” with them. But, what does that really mean. How do we begin to know how to treat them, how to love them, and the most effective way to communicate with them? Many of us were taught by others who knew nothing about love and most of it was quite wrong. LOL…but what I want to know is, who taught you how to love and are you effective at it?

#love #selflove #relationships #couples #marriage #single #inlove #men #women #selftaught

Dr. Shawn & More on The Live Network


This Wednesday at 7pm EST on Conversations With Kai Mann I sit down for a conversation of truth and healing with Dr. Shawn. Dr. Shawn is an LPC and Ph.D. Dr. Shawn talks love and relationships from introspective perspective. She opens up about her own life. and her journey of growth which helps us to also understand ourselves.

Set a reminder for Wednesday, August 9th at 7pm EST so that you don’t miss one of the best shows this season on the Conversations With Kai Mann show.

Missed any of the shows from the previous seasons. Don’t fret! Go to http://www.watchthelivenetwork.com and click on pages from the menu, and then shows and you can watch any of the previous episodes from any of the shows on The Live Network.

#thelivenetwork #convokaimann #talkshows #poetryshows #internettv #documentaries #docuseries#sportsshows #shortfilms #films #webseries #commercials #podcasts #radioshows #psa #filming#production #media #videography #videoproduction #love #relationships #therapy #growthmindset

Music: http://blocks.com Pulsing Hip Hop Strings
Author: unknown

One Day The Universe Will Offer You A New Path


“There will come a day when the Universe will offer you a new path. An uncharted land to explore, where no maps have ever gone before. One day, the Universe will gently place you in a space that you will not find the familiarity of comfort. A place that takes you to the edge of yourself, escorting you to the point of yet becoming another. One day you will be encouraged with a gentle nudge where no words will utter “come this way” but the opening, and warmth of yielding to something new deeply shifts your spirit to the unconventional. A place where tradition has no authority, and visceral reflection freely contemplates the very heart and mind of God. One day, you will either answer “yes” with forward motion into something so profoundly new or walk away in fear from labored truths, honesty, and authenticity full of light, life, and love. What will be your answer today, will you step forward or move back?” — Kai Mann

I Feel A Shift In The Atmosphere…


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I feel a shift in the atmosphere…

Have you ever been driving, going on a trip somewhere and you get lost? Before you know it, you have driven miles out of the way and have to turn around to go back and get on the right road. I feel like the atmosphere is shifting, taking us back toward the right direction. I know it doesn’t look like that right now but our movement backwards is taking us back to where we got off the road to love and unity. Somewhere in the 80’s or even earlier maybe, I’m not sure; but our will and capacity to love and support one another has gotten off track. I believe the Universe is designed to shift when we get too far off that road which means that we have to turn around and go back, sometimes past the previous hurt and pain. Sometimes we have to go way out of the way just to get back to the right road and it’s going to be through tough terrain because we went through some rough terrain to get here, but loved ones, we can do it. Change the way that you are looking at what’s going on right now. I challenge you to think solution oriented instead of being sad, hurt, disappointed, disgruntled for too long. I’m not telling you that you can’t be, just don’t stay there. When we do, we increase the number of depression, suicide, trauma and all other negative factors that contribute to our societal woes. These woes have been showing their ugly heads for quite some time now. Let’s not divide ourselves into those who did or those who did not but let’s band together in love and unity to show God, the Universe, or whatever it is that you believe in that we as humans are capable of love. Remember, it’s how you look at a situation that determines how you’ll move from that situation. History has a way of repeating itself but if we’ve grown and evolved as we all say that we have then we should have the answers to our looming perpetual problems. Each of us have been given a purpose in this and when we do what it is that we are passionate about or called to do we’ll win.  The stakes are high! I stress, do what “you’re” called to do and don’t try and make others do what you do, only ask of them for their support in your purpose.

Donald Trump says he’s going to make America Great again but it is not he who will make it great! Painfully we will because we have been forced to, but sometimes that’s the only way that we’ll listen.

 

#letlovereign #peacebestill #heedthecall #walkinyourpurpose #shift

InkMann Press–Paying Attention


Love, honor, and cherish the spaces that you find yourself in, for life can change rather quickly.–Kai Mann

PicsArt_11-23-08.43.31

 

 

I have found myself in a space of take-it-all-in’edness. I know that’s not a word but it so describes the spirit I am in. I have been paying attention to what the Universe has given me privilege to partake in and to view from the seat of my own soul. Perceptions and perspectives have changed over the last twelve months allowing my spirit to open wide with transformative intentions. I would be lying if I said the entire twelve months I have gone willingly. You would have thought I would; I would’ve thought I would, but there were parts of me unwilling to open the eyes of my understanding to see past my own lids. Some things I fought against like a child holding on to its last days of childhood forbidding going into adulthood. That part of me has decreased today as the more adult me is able to talk the child into moving forward when the motion is necessary out of future pain or suffering.

 

You see, rarely do we understand that what we might feel now will not compare to what we’ll feel later if we do not move when the opportunity presents itself. If you’ve ever gotten the chance to live when others have not: or to witness life happen to someone else in a way that if misconstrued you’d get the rest of life  all wrong, then you knew that it was purpose. It was purpose that granted you access to see the view at the top of the mountain, to tell a story, to learn a lesson, or to help someone else. I thank God that I have been able to see and feel life from a different vantage point. A vantage point, that if I had not seen correctly, I would’ve missed the advantage.

 

For most of my life I hated to see people about to get into trouble, be in pain, or anything that could hurt them. I’d turn away. I couldn’t even watch a movie that I could feel the protagonist’s trouble before it happened and would get up to go do something so I wouldn’t have to watch that part of the movie. My DNA is programmed to want others to win and when it would look as if they weren’t I would turn my head away so as not to see them lose. One thing I had failed to realize was that I hated to see my own self lose. I’d turn my head away from me when I felt I was about to get into trouble, make a mistake, or be in pain just so I wouldn’t have to witness it.

 

Today what I have learned from that behavior was that the pre-warned feelings were giving me the opportunity to change course, correct my sail, or to just do something different. I hadn’t realized that my instincts were protecting me so I wouldn’t have to experience whatever trouble, mistake, or pain so drastically. Me diverting my attention or closing my eyes would cause the most intense pain because I’d still have to drive right through it even with eyes wide shut making the devastation much worse.

 

On a different street but in the same neighborhood I too realized that shying away from the experiences of others would leave me hallow. To live life as a shell of a person who lacked depth because she had denied herself the privilege of experiencing life through the eyes of another. I can’t say that it has been easy but the connections I have made just opening myself up to experiencing my own life, as well as the lives of others, has added value to my soul. No longer will I allow myself to miss out on the moments for fear that they may turn ugly, when all of life is so beautiful.