This morning I think of being naked as I enter worship. I have this thing about being clean and giving God my best so I get up, get clean, and worship him. As naked and as clean as I can be; which means I have to be honest with him about ‘all’ of me. I ask how I work to shed that old skin and to heal, bring back the moisture and protection enough to see something crazy coming but to allow something just to happen as it is. This means I have to be in the moment at all times, careful not to only see the present but the possibilities of the future. The Hero’s journey. I feel like I’m the Hero of my life and I have to first sit at the feet of the master before I can go out into the world to not conquer it as much as to live it. Live it in all its seasons, reason, and questions. There are many but the answer is not as hard as you make it out to be. Give in, you know you want to. God’s love is amazing.
You can’t judge
you’ve seen the entire
Life, until you come to the end
is when you can judge it
Before then, it’s premature
Anything before that is
subject to debate
and rather debate
you do you
Kai Mann © 2014
I wonder why I feel so deep
some wounds don’t make me
want to cry anymore
because of the pain
but it still aches
in some places
I often wonder
like it’s going to be
whatever it is
want to do
That takes a lot
because you have to
first of all
to ask yourself
what would you like to do
be okay with whatever
at that moment
How many times
have you wanted
to do something
but were afraid
to do it
you gotta get past
like it’s the last day
of your life
I wonder if
it’s worth it
There has to come a time in your life where you just do what makes you happy. Surely, you can get to do that. I finally have decided that I’m going to do just that.
Not trying to hurt anyone else but I just want to do what I want without condemnation or guilt. And I won’t. I won’t look for or seek those feelings out.
There has to come a time in your life where you don’t care what anyone else has to say. You don’t hurt nobody and you don’t want nobody hurting you; so you do what you want to do, because time, is short.
Sometimes we fool ourselves to say that we ain’t supposed to do what we want. We not supposed to be happy. Everybody else is but not us. I won’t play martyr. I don’t know how much time I’ve got left. I’m going to do what I want to do and not feel guilty about it. Not no more.
I feel free to love me and do some things that will allow me to be my most authentic self. That’s what I want in-spite of anything. Whatever anything is.
I don’t want to even hear what others think. If I choose to wear white pants in the middle of winter I’m going to do it because you’re not guaranteed to be here next summer. I’m going to wear what I want, when I want. I don’t want to hear anybody say nothing negative. I’m not looking for it. I don’t care to hear it, because I don’t care about it. I just want to live.
I just want to live and be happy. I want to write, feel free to love me, to find me, so that if and when I can be my best me, for you.
If you want to come along that would be even better; but if not, that’s up to you….I’ll see you!
I want to sing in my own key
Dance to my own tune
And not hold myself back because of you
I just want to do what feels right to me
So many things in life we do because we have to
Wouldn’t it be nice to just do you?
I just want to live in my head for a moment
There’s this place in there that’s so free
It allows my body to move however it feels
And it doesn’t care whose looking
I just want to do the things that I can control my way
‘Not caring if I look like I’m crazy because I’m doing me
Because I’m okay with you doing you; however you do you
I just want to be me
I’m talking something deeper than you could ever imagine
I just want to be the best me that I can be
I want to know who’s around me but I don’t want to care
I just want to stay in my own lane…