Afraid


In the past

I’ve been afraid

Afraid to say “I need more”

thinking that you’d

think I was weak

Been afraid to be ‘happy’

thought I didn’t

deserve it

not really

I never said it

to myself

at least not out loud

but all of my

actions said so

carrying old wounds

scars

bruises

and

bites

like a wounded SOULjah

Every piece of negativity

stuck to me

but I wouldn’t

allow myself

to feel it

so I wore it

like a badge of HONOR

today I’m scraping off

dead skin

and picking sores

I know it sounds gross

it is

I’m letting myself

feel

and

deciding what I

want to do with that emotion

by evoking some

personal healing

“Heal thyself”

is all I

can think

of

it’s not easy though

you have to tell on

yourself

to yourself

be HONEST

and deal from a different

level

you gotta open yourself

more than you ever

have

checking with you

to see how you

feel

so you don’t

get lost

Been lost

a lot

too old for that

don’t have

long enough

for it

either

But I  now choose

“Happy”

I remind myself when I forget. ~ KaiologyInk

#Kaism #Kai2pointO

My Gift To You


There’s more than enough

they make us think its not

so they control

us

everything that we do

can be bought

but shouldn’t be

Each one of us is different

unique, in our own way

our coding ain’t our DNA

If we could reinvent the wheel

because we are so different

there is no competition

Never want what’s not

yours

Be happy with what

you’ve got

because

no one else

has it.  (Merry Christmas)~KaiologyInk #Kaism #Kai2pointO

Do What Makes You Happy


KaismThere has to come a time in your life where you just do what makes you happy. Surely, you can get to do that. I finally have decided that I’m going to do just that.

Not trying to hurt anyone else but I just want to do what I want without condemnation or guilt. And I won’t. I won’t look for or seek those feelings out.

There has to come a time in your life where you don’t care what anyone else has to say. You don’t hurt nobody and you don’t want nobody hurting you; so you do what you want to do, because time, is short.

Sometimes we fool ourselves to say that we ain’t supposed to do what we want. We not supposed to be happy. Everybody else is but not us. I won’t play martyr. I don’t know how much time I’ve got left. I’m going to do what I want to do and not feel guilty about it. Not no more.

I feel free to love me and do some things that will allow me to be my most authentic self. That’s what I want in-spite of anything. Whatever anything is.

I don’t want to even hear what others think. If I choose to wear white pants in the middle of winter I’m going to do it because you’re not guaranteed to be here next summer. I’m going to wear what I want, when I want. I don’t want to hear anybody say nothing negative. I’m not looking for it. I don’t care to hear it, because I don’t care about it. I just want to live.

I just want to live and be happy. I want to write, feel free to love me, to find me, so that if and when I can be my best me, for you.

If you want to come along that would be even better; but if not, that’s up to you….I’ll see you!