Today I was going over my weekend in my head and I wasn’t certain how it had gone. After thinking about the plans that I had set for the weekend, I realized that I had done everything I set out to do. Although everything went as planned it was my mulling over my intentions that made me feel like something was missing. In reflecting over the events of the weekend I came across some weak spots; the kind of weak spots where you know for certain that you could’ve done better. My instant response was for me to be disappointed for a moment but I knew I couldn’t stay and needed to change my thinking so I told myself that I had to do better the next time.
I truly feel proud as I realized that I could change the tone of my life by changing the conversation that I have with myself. And I am excited to know that with small changes you can have big victories and in turn get everything in life that you are working hard for. I often times have to remind myself like many I have a ways to go but it’s not as far as I think. And I know for sure that it’s the staying the course that will help you grow.
I must be transparent and admit that I have schisms at times, but who doesn’t. I’ve seen those schisms appear when the Universe has granted me the things I’ve stated that I wanted most, as well as what I convinced myself that I could handle. I think the problem was that I wasn’t fully aware of all the necessary things that I’d have to do to get it, keep it, and maintain it.
I’ve always said that I wanted to be in a space where I’m able to grow and reach my fullest potential. But I never counted on having to be taught, chastised, or challenged. It’s through this entire growing process that I’ve learned how to put my ego in check and put things into perspective, and lead with wisdom.
I recognize my own human frailties and realize that if you have a vision for yourself allowing ego to rise up and stay will get you nowhere and keep you stuck right where you are.
You ever have someone try to talk to you about you but you’ve been doing you for so long that your schisms have become habits? You don’t even know that you have these schismatic habits until someone pulls your coat tail and you’re face to face with yourself. It’s those times that you’re forced to really look at you, and all that you do.
When you’re walking in ego and your habits are called into question your feelings get hurt and you feel like your toes have gotten stepped on. Usually one of two things will happen; you’ll either go off on the person that you feel stepped on your toes and act like they’re wrong for doing so. Or you’ll let it burn for about 3 seconds, swallow, and then take a look at what they’re saying from a different angle. The key is to always go outside of yourself to feel what they see. Their response to you might have something to do with what ‘you’ do and how ‘you’ do it. I had to admit that when others tell you about you it doesn’t always feel good. But in fact that is what is needed some times. Now the question is; what will you do? Hopefully the answer is that you’ll tell the ego to go sit down somewhere, take the information as it is given, find out where the issue comes from, release it, and change the behavior? If you don’t, ego will leave you in places you didn’t want to be. Places you look up from many years later to see past opportunities not taken. When we know better we should do better.
All of that is what I got from my weekend when I recognized some of the weak spots that had taken place and why they had taken place. You’re probably wondering why I was going over my weekend looking for weak spots in the first place. I vowed about eight months ago that I wouldn’t do anything else half way again. No matter where I am in life I want to always strive to better myself in every area. The truth is I have a new found respect for self improvement and doing the work that makes the work the best work that can ever be done.
