I am A Seeker


Just a few facts about the nature of who I am so that you may better understand me, my posts, my actions, or lack of action in some cases.
I am a seeker. I seek truth and a deeper meaning to life through spirituality. I don’t mind telling my truth and I am anything but superficial about it. If I am wrong, I never have a problem saying that I am, apologizing and trying to effect change to move forward from that wrong. I can be a loner at times as I truly prefer deeper conversation and stimulation, however that does not mean that I don’t like to laugh. As a matter of fact, I can be really silly at times. I don’t mind confrontation as I know it to be a way of growth and change if we are to do so especially when done correctly. If you’ve been a part of my social sphere for at least 3 or more years you’ll notice that I have been in a constant state of change and transformation. I am committed to a life of transformation; dying, resurrecting, and regenerating. It is a part of who I am as a person, I came into this world this way and I tend to at times be obsessive about that change and transformation especially in times of feeling stuck. So, balance is always important to me. My posts somewhat strategic in nature are always designed to inspire thought and self love, more so to get us to think more about our own power and nature and truly love who we are. I also try to inspire others to keep going. It is my way of having a closer connection with others who are seeking the same but may need some confirmation, support or empowerment. There are parts of me that some people may not like as I can come of self centered but I am not. (I used to come off as self-righteous and I was.) However, I love people and I’m most interested in their growth. Sometimes who I am can come off as cold or emotionless because I am severely focused and at times that leaves no room for much else but that which I am focused upon. It is never my intention to make anyone else feel like they don’t matter but I border on obsessive when I am trying to accomplish something. On the flip side of things I am not afraid of the darker side of life. I understand the yin and yang of life, so I have the ability to examine and explore those parts of me, others, and different forms of spirituality to get a better understanding of life. (This part of me is newly recognized. I used to be afraid, something that had to do with religion) I understand that everything in life is not always good or bad in which the law of duality explains. And that life isn’t always on the up, as the law of rhythm states that the pendulum swings both ways. We must be able to deal with both sides of the swing. But, I have always had a great need to work, walk, and delve into the things of the spirit that represent consciousness to a higher level. I am always looking to learn more. I seek knowledge wherever I can find it to help me tap into my higher self because I believe there is always more. I constantly challenge myself and others to look at ourselves in a way that encourages and promote self love, self growth and self-evolution whatever that may mean for each of us. For me this has caused me to transform at different periods during life, leaving some to know a different Kai that may no longer exist. But my posts pretty much say it all. If you’d like to know more I’m always available but not through inbox, messenger or DM’s. I’m not hard to find though. #transformation#transmutation #inspiration #seeker #seekerforlife#truth #lawofduality #lawofrhythm #universallaws#selflove #selfgrowth #selfevolution

Healing From The Past- Part 3


As I move deeper into this journey my passion to seek a higher me has escalated to deepening and widening my search. I have been meditating more, reading the Bible as well as different books , listening to YouTube videos on the law of attraction (Abraham-Hicks), and watching Documentaries about spirituality. I am determined to find a way to tap more into the inner me so that I may begin to live from a point of abundance. This is my nature and has always been a part of my life in some way, shape, or form. I am a seeker of self, and always willing to go higher, but this time it’s different.

There are 4 more days until my birthday and usually during this season I am contemplative as a practice. But what I have come to understand is that this contemplative state that I have been pursuing has been going on now for about five years. The need to find a deeper meaning to who I am, my purpose and how to move into the next dimension of my life has me on a journey of miraculous growth and evolution. I’ve sat in thought and mulled over these past couple of years and asked myself “When do you think that you started this transition” only because I was thinking the process was taking too long. It is, but it is okay. You see, in past times I have been able to get the lessons quicker but now it takes more time than usual to get to the root of who I am, helping me to bring out the core. If I could soak my soul into the very lessons that I am learning and have it to become sheer manifestation I would but it will take more than that. If my intentions became like air that one breathes without thought I will have tamed and mastered the beast that is me.

I have come to believe that the lessons are different this time because this is not a transition or move from one level to the next, this feels as if I am moving from one dimension to the next. My emotions are fluctuating in as much as I feel like I’m winning one day and maybe feeling the uncertainty that can make you feel overwhelmed the next. Having feelings that can make one seem immature or even lost at times can break open your spirit. We think that we know ourselves but who we are changes, grows, and evolves as we move through different terrain. Never having gone this way before there seems to be no real GPS except to say, “Now go this way” at the exact point of the turn. Who I have believed myself to be has been challenged to the point of asking “Who am I now”.  Currently when I look in the mirror I see a different me spiritually, mentally, and physically. I’m not willing to turn back though. I find the courage with each step to keep moving forward feeling like I am walking in the wilderness. The forest is thick with barely enough light, but I know it is coming soon so I keep moving. I am determined to let go and shed my old self but honestly, the emotionality of it all is vast. Holding up mirrors to oneself and having the courage to not look away as you discover the truths to the past and your now experience makes you long for the future. However, I am learning to love the contrast that is before me even though at times it can be painful. Soul opening to be exact, but I recognize the reasons for its nature to insist that I evolve. Growing pains aint’ got nothing on this but I’d wouldn’t change any of it for I know when it is over I will be “new”.

 

 

Letting Go


I’ve had my truck for 5 years. This last year was tough but the last 6 months was even tougher. My goal was to pay off my truck and wait at least six months before I purchased a new vehicle. I wanted to invest more money into my myself and my businesses but as life would have it, it would not turn out that way. I tried everything to keep her alive. I gave her a brand new start, an alternative life, cell replacement, gave her a brake, and even helped her stay warm when her thermometer went out. She had unusual sized feet and needed special shoes that weren’t carried in every tire store and would cost almost $150 each for the least expensive shoe. She was dying and I knew it but I tried to hold on at every cost to revive her.

Have you ever tried to hold on to something that you knew that you should let go of but you think that you can revive it, or make it better? I have on many occasions. Sometimes trying to hold on to things you make it worse. If I would’ve just traded my truck in when I saw that it was dying instead of spending all of that money to keep her alive I’d have more money in my bank account and could of possibly been further along in my endeavors. You would think that by now that I would know exactly when to let go, start over, or keep moving; but it has been a lesson that I’ve had to learn quite a few times. These past couple of years I’ve had to let go of a lot of things and people. It has all been to my betterment but it wasn’t easy at all. Today, I am happy and living my best life but I anticipate the next thing that I’ll have to let go of. What about you? How good are you about letting things go?

#lettinggo #lifehack #growthmindset #growth #selflove #selfequity #selfexpression #selfworth#selfinvestment #business #entrepreneur #businessman #businesswoman #womeninbusiness

Music: {audioblocks.com} The Big Hip Hop Guy

20 Year Anniversary In the D


This month marks my twenty year anniversary living in “The D”. I remember 20 years ago when I moved here in July we were still wearing jackets and I thought “Will they ever have a summer?” Two days after I got here there were 13 tornadoes that hit Detroit some near the 8-mile area where I was two miles away from and across the northwest area of Detroit. I remember the people that I had met during this time asking me if I had brought this weather with me. Storms I was used to being from Florida, but not the cool weather that came with it. Detroit was a bit of a culture shock for me. I had moved from Fort Myers, Florida to Chicago, and then moved here to Detroit where the African American population is predominate. I laugh now because I truly did not know what to think, I had a sea of emotions when I got here as well as learning how to drive in the mountainous snow that fell the following winter. When I look back on my 20 years here it has been an experience of true growth and evolution. Thank you Detroit for having me, keeping me, and loving me….it has been real!

#Detroit
#Michigan
#snow
#tornadoes
#anniversary
#citylife
#africanamerican
#summer
#winter
#weather
#growth
#evolution
#ilovethed
#livinginthed
#livingoutloudinthed

Entrepreneurship- When the worst happens


I had what some could call a major setback in business. For about two weeks I had something grow from minor to major. I kept my patience through it all. Not because I had to but because I wanted to. I was determined to have a great outcome no matter what the circumstances looked like. Near the end, just before they told me there was nothing further that could be done I said to myself “Sometimes things happen to help you move from good to great. This is your opportunity to take what you have left and rebuild it into something better.” I did just that. Still not completed but it ‘is’ better and I’m proud to say that I didn’t lose my cool. I worked through it and things actually turned out better than they were prior to what could’ve been a catastrophe if I had given in to it. Next time all seems to be going wrong in your world, stop for a moment and look for the opportunities; The ones that seem hidden below the pile of issues from whatever circumstances, yes, those. Look for the opportunity to make ‘better’ what has gone wrong in order to make it go right.
Music: audio blocks
#business #womeninbusiness #meninbusiness #entrepreneur #entrepreneurship #branding #businesstips #strategy #businessstrategy #lifestrategy

Get Still Or Be Made To


When it’s time to move forward and you won’t move your feet they will be moved for you.
In 2004, probably sooner but I wasn’t paying much attention, a series of events would happen to turn my life around. In 2005 I heard very clearly, leave this situation alone and do something different but sadly I did not. Because I would not adhere to the voice inside I would be made to sit down and take more than just a moment to redirect my life, but I would be made to take a physically, mentally, and spiritually painful hard look at my life. Looking myself in the mirror was difficult but necessary. Seeing some of the decisions I had made at face value made me grieve for what could’ve been. The decision to place misdirected energy into things and people used to distract me from my purpose was disheartening. A very unyielding time in my life served up an order of “Make life-altering Decisions or be stuck in a cycle of unproductive fruit” kinda like that fig tree Jesus cursed. I decided to change and give energy to things that matter and would help me to move in life abundantly and progressively. If you never take the time to get still and not only evaluate where you’ve been but also where you’re going; you’ll be made to.
#selflove #selfgrowth #selfdevelopment #growth #growthmindset #selfawareness

if I can’t be me


Sometimes I look at my life

I see what I’m missing

and I want that

I hear that the second

half

is better

I bet it is

I think about

all the things

I’ve learned

and the things

I can

teach

then I think about

things

that I

need to be

taught

life expresses lessons

through the people

you meet

they teach

you and you

teach them

it’s give

and take

whether you know it or not

Actions to Reactions

to more action

and reaction

or not

I think a little bump every now

and then is okay

I’m seeing it as

growth

everything can’t be easy

it won’t be worth it.

if I can’t be me

because you don’t

like it

that’s okay

we don’t have to force anything

either

we don’t have to talk bad

about one another

we can agree

to disagree

#KaiologyInk

#Kaism #Kai2pointO

Let it Rain


{My interpretation}

If he told us to be fruitful

and multiply

he must’ve put seed down

in us in order to do so

when the seed gets water

it is destiny revealed

but until that it is

destiny concealed

There are only two real seasons

seed time

or

harvest time

if your destiny hasn’t been manifested you are in

seed time

you have to die first

before you can bear fruit

I am not normal to the ground

I am in

if it didn’t grow naturally

then it had to be

planted

Did God plant me?

It’s not ordinary

it wouldn’t have happened

by itself

It normally wouldn’t grow

up in this type of

soil

But God says “I’m going to

force it to grow

that’s agriculture

But because God said

“Live”

He forced it to happen

God said “out of the

dry ground”

abuse

turmoil

pain

drugs

confusion

He forced it to happen

You have to understand that

you were planted

Before you had

a Bible

that sperm

out ran the rest

because you

were

planted

It was good that I have

been afflicted

had I not

I would not

know

that Glory of God

I didn’t like it

but I am better

for it

I couldn’t see my way out

cause I was planted

nothing buried

Don’t expect me to stay

buried

I have not been buried

I am planted in it

I may be planted here

but I ain’t staying here

I can’t do it because

I am gay

this is the way I hear it

if you want to know

Maybe if you heard it

like I did

you could understand

No weapon formed can

come against you

if you don’t mind

being different

He just watered my seed…

You can’t get blessed

because you don’t

obey

I have destiny

I have something

concealed in me

just through it out there

don’t judge

you’ll know who’s

got it by the

reaction

wonder who I’d be if I

was watered

There is a responsibility

in every blessing

the word is the water

that’s why it hasn’t

grown

Been trying to figure out

what’s wrong

Now comes the trauma

that the water

brings

the seed has no pain

there’s got to be some

discomfort

watering the seed

is trauma

to the soul

Growth is traumatic

I knew this

but I was hoping

it wasn’t so

you get watered

through exposure

If I was exposed to

what I could

be

I’ll never be the same

again

watering makes you make

changes

you can be watered

by opportunity

it will water

your destiny

exposed.

One man plants

another man waters

God gives the increase

you can’t get the finished

product

without the process

We are going to have some

stories to tell

when we get

there

I don’t owe anybody but

God

water each other

we have to serve

each other

give and it shall be

given to you

pressed down

&

shakin’

together

getting to the next level

ain’t easy

you have to really

have faith

I know this is about

growth

but you’re right

I’m stretching

it hurts to grow

it alienates you

you don’t fit in

people like you

as long as you fit

their standard

but when you outgrow

their environment

they don’t like you

“Goodbye!”

you ought to change too

you use different tools

for seed time

and harvest time

sowing equals weeping

bearing precious seeds

doubtless

you can’t have no doubt

you ca’t have ‘any’ doubt

you got to believe this

for yourself

I was created for this

and I don’t even know

what this iS

I believe it

It is your faith

not anyone else’s

I got to get the right

tools

faith, to bring it in

if I got the faith for it

but I can still bring it

in

No weapon formed against me

shall be able to prosper

I got faith for it

for 2015, I got faith

for it

I gotta “Rejoice”

you might sow it in tears

but you’ll reap in

Joy

can’t be miserable

I gotta snatch me

some joy

This is my NOW

Don’t work where I have not

given you permission

work in the area you’re

permitted

If it doesn’t bother you

anymore

that’s how you

know you’re coming

to the end

of a ‘thing’

it’s time for me to

offer it up

I don’t feel sorry for

myself

I offer it up

work it out

you cannot achieve

the promise

without the

process

the process brings you

to the promise

water what works in your life

Leave those dead bones

alone

you’re coming to a

Season

of

Greatness

Water what’s Divine

in you

Don’t waste the water

water what’s good

what’s just

what’s pure

what’s fruitful

Always look up

Don’t see the living

amongst the dead

God’s going to change me…

 

******KaiologyInk*****  “That’s what I heard” #Kaism #Kai2pointO #KaiologyInk

Sometimes I allow my mind to ramble


 

Every once in awhile I just let my mind go just so I can see what it is that I am really feeling. As soon as one thought comes, sometimes it goes a little deeper. Here is a part of what I was rambling about the other day while listening to music and typing to the beat…

Sometimes it’s just that one person that has our back no matter what. (The Creator) The one who would dare anyone else to say a negative word about us and they are ready to cause Karma to rain down on the one who does. A lot of people say things are not like they used to be.  People are not like they used to be. What happened to the one who would dare to call you friend no matter what? What about the one that said that no one better say anything about you? Where are they at? If you got that, you’ve got a good thing.  ( I realize that I do. Thank you God!)

They say it’s lonely at the top, funny thing is I thought the top would be something else, but it’s not. The top is this wonderful feeling that I’m feeling right now. I feel so good right now because I feel like I am on top of the world. I believe the top has many levels and I can’t wait to see if the feeling I am having right now can be topped.

 I trust that the Creator loves me no matter what. I think he’s got my back because it couldn’t be anything else. I feel so close to him right now. I think about all the things my friend has pulled me through. There were some dark days. There were some dark times. But he pulled me through.

Have you ever thought that you weren’t going to make it? Like your heart is gonna give out any minute and you’re just waiting for it to stop? Whew! That was hard. There was once a time that I thought I wasn’t gonna make it! I didn’t know what I was gonna do. I went through so many emotions that I can’t even explain them to myself and the one emotion I’m feeling right now is the best! I can’t even explain it to you. I feel like I’m doing something different. I’m doing something I’m supposed to be doing. Like everything that is happening in my life right now somehow is supposed to be happening.  I just want to experience it without judgmental eyes. (My own judgemental eyes.)  I just want to feel everything that I can. I just want to be so open….my heart is beginning to race right now. My breathing is getting shallower and shallower. You only get one life. One. I’m serious, only one! You can’t come back and do shit! You can’t do nothing. Once it’s over. It’s over. Why can’t you just let yourself be happy? Why won’t you just breath and let yourself go a little and see what happens. If it’s not better than this right here, right now, no love loss because this right here is good. You’ve got this far. Whew! But if you can get a little closer. Just a little more closer and see what happens. Just the mere thought of something better sometimes makes me have to catch my breathe. I feel like my lungs are already taking too much in. The Creator has given me a lot already. When I think back, I think that I was supposed to be dead at least two times that I know of. What about those times I wasn’t even looking. That scares me!

I just wanted to write something. I’ve been…what you call it? “Oh yeah, writers block! I don’t really believe that I had writers block. I think sometimes the Creator has something so good he has for us to write and he has to stop us for a minute so that we can see it…see it real good. Do you know what I mean. He just wants us to slow it down a minute. Take a minute so you don’t miss anything. Sometimes we get so excited and start going and doing. Then the next thing you know, you doing so much that you can even see what you’re doing. Whew, that just juggled my heart a little bit. I had to breathe way deep! Just the thought of doing something great and not actually seeing it was a trip. What are you doing? What are you doing that ‘s making you feel like that?  You are feeling like that right? Better than that? No? Ohhh…Man! No, you gotta find it. You gotta feel it too. You’ve got to find something in you that makes you feel positively overwhelmed. Like your life is so good right now that you don’t know if you could take it if it got any better. It’s not fair if I feel it by myself. Man, if we can all just get here, there would be so much peace in the world.

Everything around us is in cahoots to distract us. We are so blind that we don’t even see it. It’s kind of sad. If you mess up they’re aren’t a whole lot of people who will be there to tell you its okay. So what, you messed up. I got you! 

I don’t even know whether to dance or write or do both right now because I’m so excited! I’m about to enjoy myself until I can’t. Cause it’s like I said earlier, when it’s over it’s over. You better enjoy it. Whatever it is that you enjoy doing. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it either. Sometimes you could be in so much pain and nobody knows it. You could be in so much pain that you just want to let all the tears in the world roll down your eyes.  But it’s okay though because that pain is about growth. You see, you can’t look at the pain in a negative way. You’ve got to look at it as necessary to stay alive. You gotta have the pain to do two things; to let you see the past and to let you see the future at the same time. 

Life is so short that there are people out here trying to tell you just how short it is. For real, do what you want to do. Don’t hold yourself up from doing what you were supposed to do because you might be a little afraid or you’re still a little unsure of yourself. You’re different. Yes, that you are. Just do you. Do what you are supposed to do and be you.