Let The Dead Bury The Dead


Okay, so if you follow me on Facebook you know that I post quite a bit of questions, “be mindful” quotes, inspirational flyers and posts to inspire thought. Recently I posted “Let the dead bury the dead”. This was actually posted after I was thinking about Easter and the concept of, traditionalized, and ritualistic events that we partake of during this season.  I wondered if “Jesus” would rather us focus on going within and finding our purpose and what we came to do rather than celebrating his death and resurrection. I wondered if he thought we were too focused on dead things. Dead rituals, dead traditions, dead relationships, and that only the dead could continue to bury the dead year after year, generation after generation. At what point do we begin to do something different realizing the state of the dead walking. And then I started thinking about the concept of Jesus…anyway, my thoughts can sometimes go deeper so rather than posting all of that I just posted “let the dead bury the dead” wondering what others would think of that statement. After posting it I had a family member reply with a bit of concern. I’m laughing at it now because I can see how some could be concerned if their perception of me was depressive. Well, I stated that I was okay and basically that the post was about perception. But this actually got me to thinking after it was said that I’ve given the perception that I was serious. It is no perception at all, I am serious. I’ve always been that way. Don’t get me wrong, that is not the total sum of who I am, but I have always had a serious nature. To really love me you have to know me and not the perception of who you believe me to be.

Many of us say “you don’t know me” and it’s just a thing that is said to another when questioned about an act or deed when something out of the norm was done. But I realized that no one outside of my partner and God really knows me. I believe that my life’s purpose is to be a change, or transformations agent if you will, and my higher self has sown the seeds within my platform of self-love, self-growth, and self-development. A lot of my posts on social media has been about others and what they think, encouraging and empowering them. As a person with a Scorpionic nature I could be called secretive but that’s not who I am really. I share much of me through my writing but those things that are deep I have reserved for the space that call for them. Which normally means for those who too enjoy the more deep, thoughtful conversations and have a need for me to share them. My apple cart would be to have more of these type conversations as this is where I feel most at home.

In my life, I have been the person that people come tell their deepest secrets to. I’m not kidding either, I have people walk up to me in stores or wherever and just start talking to me and telling me intimate things about them. For many I have been the person that has been an ear, the secret keeper, a voice of reason, or given to wisdom. But during this time, no one has really asked me outside of my partner, about me. What do I like, what do I think, what do I need, what do I feel? That is my role within this universe, what I agreed to before I came here and I don’t take it lightly, nor do I bitch and moan about it because that is why I am here; but I believe that I do begin to wonder when people assume that I am one way or given to a perception that I am another way because they never asked.

I then began to think about the relationships that I have with people who are family members and those that would call me friend, I realized that even if they are associated with me by blood, some sort of friendship, or business relationship that they don’t really know me at all. They’ve felt close to me because I have encouraged, supported, filled a void or space in their lives but there has not been much reciprocation. For my family members, they know me from whatever age we last had interaction and for most people that’s who you still are.  I’ve walked a lone path for much of my life. Not lonely or alone, just lone. I am not uncomfortable with this part of me. It has been who I have been for most of my life. It was who I was groomed to be. It was who I circumstantially was destined to be, this is my assignment and I am okay with it. So, not for myself but for others to see, I did a post that said I would give a $100 to the person who could answer all six questions, only because I knew no one could. I wanted to dissolve a perception that I believe people have of me. And these were they:

  1. Why did I change my name to Kai?
  2. What makes me laugh?
  3. What makes me cry?
  4. What is my favorite day of the week?
  5. What has the last 5 years been like for me?
  6. What am I most proud of?

 

 

Uncomfortable


117I’ve realized how uncomfortable I get when people talk about other people, be it their clothes, their hair, and especially their personal business. I am not sure when it started, or if that feeling of being uncomfortable was always there lying dormant some place. Lately I’ve noticed it more and more. Now, it’s not to say that some things aren’t funny but I think something about laughing at other’s pain, or at their expense is what makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the fact that I realize that if it were me, people would be laughing at me too.

I think we don’t realize each other’s pain. If we did we wouldn’t be laughing right. I see pictures of people at their lowest, the clothes they wear, or the mistakes they’ve made on Facebook and twitter and I scroll passed it fast, so as not to be an accessory or guilty by association.

Everyone doesn’t have what we have. We must first be conscious of that. We have got to understand that some people don’t have jobs or clothes, things have happened in their lives to were loss and lack have permeated their total existence; and we laugh because their clothes are too tight, too small, or too something. We offer these people neither sympathy nor understanding. Maybe it’s because we’ve never been there so it’s a bit hard to understand loss in that particular area. But you have lacked or needed something, haven’t you?

On the other spectrum, to see others expose when some people wear on purpose clothing that are revealing, tacky, or whatever, makes me uncomfortable as well. Not because the person is revealing too much of their assets or what have you, but the person who calls it into attention make me uncomfortable because I’m not sure if they still don’t see the pain of that person.

We go into excessive situations when we are indeed in lack, no father in the home, mother not there to teach us how to be a lady, or whatever the case may be. We expose them without offering them something in exchange; something positive to their negative. I wonder if it would be okay when I see some young girl with her shorts up her spine and a low cut shirt to say “You have the most amazing eyes” if she would focus more on them the next time she decided what to wear.

Well, at least if we decide to say nothing, maybe we should say nothing on Facebook or twitter too. I don’t know, I haven’t tried it but I think I will, next time.

 

 

I’m Pulling For You


Praying Hands 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sometimes I say a silent prayer for you

I know we’re not friends

But I read your Facebook statuses and Tweets

I see your pain

Although I rarely say anything

I say a lot

Because I talk to God

About you

In hopes that

Your struggles

Won’t last

I’m pulling for you

Fun(4)daMental Spotlight


Fun4damental spotlight

Come check me out this week on the Facebook group Fun(4)daMental where  I’ll be the author spotlight this week September 16-19th, 2013. And on Wednesday, September 18th I’ll be interviewed at 8pm on the Fun(4)daMental  blogtalk radio show. Click here to listen in  fun(4)daMental     blogtalk radio show.Thank you all for all of your support!!!