One Voice For All


I love to hear different points of view because it allows me different perspectives. The other day I was listening to this video and what David Banner was saying made me think a bit more about how we think as a society sometimes carries an undertone for “group think”  using the term of ‘being on one accord’ and how that maybe some of our definitions in the belief of “group think”  or “being on one accord” are different. I believe in group think as a collective  and believe that we should be on one accord when it is beneficial and leading a group of people in a desired direction but my idea on “Group think” or “being on one accord” may be different from someone else’s. I believe that group think benefits a culture, a society, a community and so on but I believe it should promote and support individuality as well. My belief is that our uniqueness originating by consciousness deems us so or we would’ve all been made alike in every other way excluding physical appearance. But that our uniqueness (individuality) allows each of us a specific purpose, one different from the other that moves our world, society, community, etc into the next phase, level, dimension, or state of consciousness.  When listening to David Banner, and you may not agree once you watch the video but it seems that he might’ve suggested that we should as a whole be more aggressive and that the person we choose to speak for us should be more like the Killmongers in life. I myself believe that it takes both T’Challa and Killmonger to move us forward and that one message or platform isn’t better than the other but both serves one another. I believe that they both work in tandem and offers to each of us by what we resonate with most an idea or belief that we can individually get behind if we so choose. Allowing for the different messages to ring true without denying either one. Neither more right or more wrong, they just are. Again, to me it takes both archetypes to move a society forward.

With respect to “Black Panther” and “Real Life” I believe that our heroes can and should be different and they don’t all have to be the same or look the same. That our heroes are born out of their particular struggle and those that resonate within that struggle will deem them as such. Case in point. Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X (two people used in the video), same struggle different message. I don’t believe that one message worked more over the other. I believed they resonated with the people that they were supposed to resonate with and helped to move a society within their respective agendas. It doesn’t take away or make one less of a hero than the other.  In the end they were both assassinated for what they believed in…the same struggle. As a diverse people I am not sure that one voice can speak for us all. I think it takes many voices. A diverse group of voices resonating thought surrounding the same agenda. Yes, at times it can be noisy for the untrained ear but my belief is that diverse voices can speak for a whole. What do you think/believe?

 

2017 A Year Of Reconciliation


When it is time to be alone everyone you know will disappear. Not in the definition of vanishing and that you are unsure of where they are, or that you yourself didn’t have something to do with their disappearance but it will happen because it is time.  When it is time for you to take in account for the life that you have created you must reconcile the balances of deposits and withdrawals you have taken or given. There is a Divine space of Contemplation of what is, what was, and how it all has affected you, and the people who have walked in the same spaces with you. 2017 has been that year for me, a year of reconciliation. A year to reconcile or balance the accounts and transactions that I have made throughout the years.

The first step was reconciling the discrepancies and over 49 years there have been many. You see, when you reconcile a discrepancy it begins with the date a transaction was done. This relates to the stories we have told ourselves since the transactions, to account for and balance them. We may have reconciled it since that date with ourselves but if there was anyone else involved it must also be reconciled with them as well. When this happens the story usually changes because listening you now hear it from their perspective and can garner a full picture. This picture usually changes from what your limited vision has been to seeing a picture in its entirety. A 360 view. Now, seeing everything, you must come to grips with what you will do with the picture you now see.

As 2017 progressed I’ve been going over my life piece by piece. Dealing with one thing at a time; myself, my children, my family, my relationships, and friendships. What I feel as each part of my life has been called to be reconciled I’ve learned that I’ve walked in a space of what borders on selfishness and abandonment depending on the side of the road that I am walking and on what day. No matter the time or day, it is surely the time to be reconciled with all my past actions. The scales of life are now balanced, and the time of judgement is now due. This judgement I exact upon myself as the consequences of life bears down on me.  It bears down not in a fit of angry rage but of truth, and genuine conversations and thought. No malice or ill-will intended, the bearing down comes from wanting to feel lighter as I move into this next phase of life and try to understand the breadth of what is weighing me down. And without hesitation or apprehension I resist not the bearing down as I have demanded of my higher self to know and understand more, and this bearing down comes as a result of what has transpired.

The time has come for me to see with full vision how the other half has lived. While being in a state of what was deemed as “Saving myself” so that I could still be here to enjoy life with each of my pieces I believe that I detoured which left some to fend for themselves. As each piece would come to full view there became an overwhelming state of shame and guilt as I could see some of the devastation that was left behind. Although normal to feel guilt and shame, I knew too that in order to move forward it too was okay to let those feelings go, but not before apologizing for the past hurt, or what could have felt like betrayal, or disloyalty on my part.

It’s tough to stand at full attention, dropping ego to the floor, and at times your own feelings so that you can hold on to the weight of their feelings, and emotions while hearing their and your story from the place where they stood. What felt like unconditional love to me was that there has never been any judgement of me, to me, from their lips. Just stories of what happened on their journeys. They never held me in contempt or condemnation, never yelled, or spoke in a condescending tone: They just told me the story. I thank God for that because I didn’t want to be made to feel worse by them or by me for that matter. Sometimes when we make it about us we demand that they make us feel guilty, or more guilt so that we can bear the weight of what happened. There is little time nor energy for that. We have all been through something but the realization of it all is to continue to learn from, grow, and evolve those stories to make new and better ones. I cannot thank them enough for their handling of me in my mishandling of them.

As I continue to allow myself to be opened however it comes, I don’t feel gutted, but I can speak with honesty and saying that sometimes as I see me at some stages of life, I don’t like me.  I don’t like the me that left in the manner in which I did. I don’t like the me that detoured from the spontaneity of life and checked out on the people that mattered. I know that I didn’t do it on purpose, and I know that I did it with limited knowledge, sight, and vision but I do wish that I had done it differently. But even so, when I think about that statement I know that if I had, I wouldn’t be the same person that I am now, having the same experiences that I am now and who’s to say that they would’ve been better or worse. This is life. The one that I chose, and I believe that I have the capacity to live it and that is what I am going to do. So, I continue to allow self to be opened, taught, displayed, grown, evolved, and ultimately transfigured because one thing that I am sure of is that this ‘is’ what I put here to do.

 

 

 

 

In Limbo (The in-between place)


Sometimes it’s hard to talk about the in-between places. The places that feel like limbo. You’re not where you used to be but you’re not quite yet where you’re headed. You have faith enough to know that you’re close but the GPS seems to keep re-routing you. It’s the place where everything you once knew doesn’t work anymore, and the things you’re learning haven’t been tested enough to be proven and you’re still trying to figure out how to use them. That place where the person you used to be is taunting you for its equal return and the new you is lurking just close enough on the inside that at times it could be considered out; but it looks to be waiting for an invitation to do so. And, it’s not that you haven’t offered one, its impression is as if it’s awaiting the alignment of some magical space in time where everything needs to meet just so.

So let’s just say that right now ” I feel crazy” most of the time…lol. The new person you’re becoming sometimes feel like a suit that may not quite fit just yet. While you’re still gaining muscle to fill it in just right, and although you’re sure that you can fill those shoes, at the same time you’re doing that thing that most little girls do in their mothers heels, try to teach yourself to walk in them.

If I can explain it in detail I’d tell you that it’s that place where certainty kind of teases you from day to day. Where the ground that you walk on feels a little shaky and in spite of the foundation previously poured its as if the structure beneath your feet is somewhat changing. So much is happening all at the same time that concentration seems to escape you from time to time and you begin to act in ways that you never have before. Often asking yourself “Who was that?” You’re changing, morphing, and transfiguring into the ‘new’ you and your emotions at times can run high as you’re seeking and searching to figure it all out. You feel like those cartoon characters that are shape-shifting, a little painful and out of sorts. Meanwhile a new class is in session and it begins at ground zero. Its days before Kindergarten starts how many, you don’t know, but all you know is that you’re ready for first grade.

You’re realizing that every dimension has a process of levels and every time you get to a new dimension you must start all over from the beginning and it feels weird. A bit uncomfortable, and unnerving because you don’t know what to expect. It’s like being a freshman all over again, you’ve got to get acclimated, learn the ropes, and then you can begin to truly succeed just as you did on the last dimension.

Even still, I had wished that I could go on a 30 day retreat and that someone like Mr. Miyagi would show up and walk me through the lessons of life hand-in-hand so that I could surely be ready for the fight. Right now if anyone asks, my go to is the “Karate Kid” as the match to my hero’s journey. Previously like Daniel I too wanted to skip the whole ‘Wax on…Wax off” part and go straight to the fight but it doesn’t work that way. As you can see, Daniel got hurt. Even though he did, he won because the principles had been instilled in him.

Remember hero, that the journey is built on consistency. Opportunity or chance comes right at the moment that it is supposed to. So if you’re in the in between space, work the process, do your “Wax on…Wax Off” exercises and stick to the trail even when you feel like you’re going to fall off. When you step on to that platform to that next level you’ll be glad that you did.

Breathe


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Love was so strong

It made it hard

for me to breathe

But I wanted to

I wanted to try

To breathe

So hard

i don’t know what happened

It’s like

We both stopped

Breathing

I still can’t breathe

I wonder why

We forget

To breathe

Breathing was good

Breathing

Filled you up

From the inside out

It took care

Of what was

inside first

That’s the only way you gonna make it….