Who Taught You How To Love


love
[ləv]

NOUN
an intense feeling of deep affection:
used to express affectionate approval for someone:
VERB
feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone):

I’ve been thinking a lot about love these days and have been talking to a few people about it as well.
I hear or even read that many women and men complain about the treatment of, lack of attention, or the way in which someone “loves” them and I think to myself often “no one probably taught them how to love”. Many of us don’t know the ins and outs about love; how to cultivate, nurture, and create a safe space for it to grow. Unless your parents taught you, you probably taught yourself by guaging what someone else did. When I started looking at my own life I realized that if I had to look at all of the relationships I’ve seen over my lifetime and use them as a concept for how to love I’d fail, as I had previously done at love many times before. For many of us, no one has sat us down to teach us about love, how to love, and even what it means to love. Or what’s the most effective communications in love. Often, we just like someone, chase after them and fall what we consider “in love” with them. But, what does that really mean. How do we begin to know how to treat them, how to love them, and the most effective way to communicate with them? Many of us were taught by others who knew nothing about love and most of it was quite wrong. LOL…but what I want to know is, who taught you how to love and are you effective at it?

#love #selflove #relationships #couples #marriage #single #inlove #men #women #selftaught

InkMann Press Series- Movin’ On Up!


InkMann Press Series- Movin’ On Up!

“The destination isn’t necessarily determined by where you are, but more so what you’re doing while you’re there; and what your plan is to move forward.”

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We all have those moments when our minds are made ALL the way up, and we come to grips with the fact that we have to GO forward, work inward, and “move on up”. Sometimes after a burst of Inspiration we believe that we’re ready for a change or an upgrade so to speak. Often we believe we’ve mastered a thing and we feel that we can handle going to the next level or dimension.

Believing it’s time to move on we set our sights to do so. We step out on faith and begin to get our balance when we notice a shift. Just as we get our footing we’re challenged with something that we were sure that we had conquered. We thought ourselves skilled in that particular area, but we quickly realize that we’re not. We’ve got two choices and those choices define our character and everything else about us. What we do next is the most important move we’ll ever make.

The most important moves we make are affected by the chances we take and the decisions we make. You can either stay stuck or you can recognize that you still have work to do and seek to do it so that you get better. What you do at this point defines the movement you’ll make, if any. Every so often I have the opportunity to talk with a woman, who I believe is the wisest woman I know. I’m not just talking people that I personally know either. Anyway, I digress. We were talking about movement. She suggested that movement can also be linear and people not realize it. They are doing events, speaking engagements, but everything that they do is just like the last thing with no movement into another level or dimension. The reality is that they think ALL movement is consistent with growth and that cannot be farthest from the truth. When movement is linear, there is no real growth or success to be had, although they are doing everything to go higher, they’re not moving at all. You see, we can be in a particular geographical location working feverishly on our passions and not be able to move past the city limits. To be able to make the most impactful moves that will lead us outside of our normal borders we have to work from the inside out.

In life we are often challenged and given the chance to take full ownership of our lives and master ourselves. It’s not easy either. This step is not taken for the faint at heart. Deciding to go to a new dimension has to be more than just an idea. You have to be ready to execute on a level higher than you’ve ever been. Think of levels like escalators to Dimensions. The way you think on each level helps you to move to the next level. When moving to a dimension you have to take everything you’ve learned on each of those levels to take you into another atmosphere. Inability to think past your immediate surrounding will only yield linear movement and not dimensional movement. Dimensional movement does not imply a shift but a total transformation.

A lot of times we say that we’re ready to do the work but when it comes down to it, we allow ourselves to get distracted. Sometimes, we believe that it’s too much work so we procrastinate or never finish what we start. Saying you’re ready to do the work but not be willing to change will make your job that much harder. Not because you’re not ready but because you’re unwilling to change. When you want to be the best you that you can be, your actions have to match your words.

During the process we come across the work and sometimes seeing how much work it costs, we begin to faint. Sometimes it’s not the requirement of the work but the act of being responsible for the work. It’s different when someone else is responsible and we’re not held liable. Unconsciously some of us think that if we focus on everyone else it exonerates us from being ready. But when we step one leg at a time into our big girl and big boy pants we tap into the power that we have to move forward successfully. When we are willing to get our feelings hurt, die to ego, let our lights shine, and be ALL that we have ever wanted to be we surpass levels and move into dimensions.

Speaking of dimensions, I’ve heard Oprah say that nothing is ever wasted and as I look back over my life I realize that she is absolutely right. Oprah has moved into many levels and dimensions in her lifetime because she has used everything that she has ever learned.

I too have begun to use everything that I have ever learned without leaving any stones unturned. Even the things I thought were useless have been used in some way. When it was time to move closer to my dreams I added a coach to my life. My coach holds me accountable to do only those things that involve dimensional movement. I have to be honest and say, at first I didn’t enjoy the coaching experience because my ego was in the way. I had a problem with being told what to do when I had been doing it for forty-seven years. She even tap danced on my nerves a couple times, but it took me a minute to understand that she was trying to help me and not hurt me. Even still, it was me who said that I wanted to move dimensionally without full knowledge of what that meant. Full understanding teaches that Dimensional movement allows you to hear the truth, learn the lesson, and execute.

When I used the lessons that I learned I began to feel that I was accomplishing things even when the situation looked like I might not. I learned to see everything as a win because I gained knowledge. Now that I consistently and continually cultivate the lessons that I learn, I find it easier to move on up.

The InkMann Press–Self Love & Self Growth


The InkMann Press Series- Self Love & Self Growth

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Recently I had someone ask me what my 2016 mission was and I was happy to say that my Life’s mission has not changed. Self-love and Self-growth have been the glue holding me together for most of my life. Even at a young age I had an appreciation for self development and understood that I had to be an advocate for my own growth. My goal has been to learn, grow, expand and excel on every level. Although I’d have to admit that I am not a traditionalist I am learned by way of spirit; A lifelong student of sorts but at the same time, a teacher. In learning to love myself, I have learned new ways to love others.  Often times I’m encouraged to share pieces of my experiences as the way that I see things sometimes can be different.  It’s funny because I thought we all think different since we all come from different perspectives. Anyway, in retrospect I decided to share, and thus the InkMann Press Series was created.

 

In the beginning I found myself on a quest to transcend any previous images that I had for myself. I wanted to write about how I challenged the innermost parts of me to go beyond the superficialities of life into something deeper. In previous blog posts I wrote with references to mastering yourself, learning from your lessons, letting go of ego, and forgiveness. I chose to write on these areas because they can all effect positive change. Letting go of old and outdated thinking patterns gives way to new tools that we can use to heal and to forgive ourselves. I realize that the moment we learn who we are and what we can do, we are able to increase and expand our potential.

 

Writing has been my passion since I was about twelve years old. It has been the way that I have communicated with life. My bond to writing comes from a need to release, and sometimes purge. In either case, my hope is that my writing will either water or plant a seed to inspire growth and change in the heart of one who needs it most.

 

Writing is an intimate gift. It is the formation of letters to make words that bring a connection between it and the reader. It’s a transformation of energies to bring a specific level of understanding.  My intention with The InkMann Press Series has been to inspire and motivate others to cultivate their own self awareness, self love, and self growth.  Remember, like minds, light minds.

 

If you have been inspired to pursue your passion, forgive, let go, move forward, or anything of the sort you know that it takes work. Being willing alone is not enough. There are many who will say “its grind time” but never end up grinding because grinding is synonymous with work. Work that they never anticipated doing. And because work implies tasks, jobs, duties, assignments, and projects they forgo the effort. For those of you who tackle the work relentlessly to work on yourself to improve your way of life, kudos to you.  Your strength is impeccable. It is only the minds of strong people who are willing to hold themselves accountable, stay the course, and do the work. It is you who truly understands that to be great you must be strong, and that strength never comes from the outside it comes from within.

 

Thank you for coming over to the Kai Mann blog to read the InkMann Press Series. May you be strong in all that you do so that you will inevitably increase your potential at every level. Now, go be GREAT!