#selfcare is NOT Narcissism


#selfcare is NOT narcissism
For years now we have suggested that people put ‘their’ oxygen masks on ‘first’ and now there seems to be rhetoric that says because they are, that they are being selfish or narcissistic. The suggestion to take care of yourself first gets a bad rap when we begin to do so in the sense that it says “no” to someone else; or we don’t like what the art of taking care of self looks like from our vantage point. We can’t pick and choose how we want people to take care of themselves because it looks insensitive to us because them being in a healthy state of mind might leave us behind, or they need time to themselves for an uncertain amount of time. The person who is taking care of self knows what that looks and feels like to them and because we love them we have to allow them to balance themselves in the best way that they know how.

We have so many people doing the opposite of taking care of themselves to the point of self deprecation and deprivation that it is leaving them in a void. Some of us become co-dependents to the state of martyrdom because it makes us look saintly but underneath we are miserable. When we deplete ourselves because we have chosen to put others before ourselves over and over again in a way that is unhealthy it places emotional stress and tension on us that can present itself through mental and physical health issues. We have to balance out our energies in a way that replenishes us so that we are able to give to those we love and care for in ways that allow us to give of ourselves in the best light possible.

How do you #selfcare

#putyouroxygenmaskonfirst
#selfish
#selflove
#narcissism
#narcissistic
#selfgrowth

InkMann Press–Thriving


PicsArt_11-23-08.43.31

We’ve been surviving for years, but when asked to thrive, the question become “how?” The Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus defines thriving as; to grow luxuriantly, to flourish, and to gain wealth or possessions. When we begin to ponder the evolution of thriving we must first come to the conclusion that life should be more than just a game of survival. While survival is useful at certain points in our lives, thriving leads us to do more. Thriving says that we will no longer do those things every day that doesn’t benefit us in any way, shape, or form. Thriving demands that we grow in every area of our lives.

 

Expanding past the norm, we thrive in a way that brings about transformational living in its rarest forms. This transformational living can only come when we take heed to the lessons that we’ve learned and expound upon them.  When you build upon the lesson that you learn, you create the life you want, and that is the ultimate act of thriving. Often when we learn something we learn for the moment unless it evokes some type of pain or emotion that teaches us the lesson. For some people it takes a few times of repeating the same mistake in order to really get the lesson. The others learn faster. But, when you’re able to take the lesson and put it with the other tools that you have in your tool box to master yourself; you now get the maximum benefit from the outcome.

 

Thriving insists that we thoroughly understand the lessons that we are learning and how they are unique to us. When we understand what the lesson is for we can begin to know how to use it to our advantage so that we can better serve ourselves first, and then others. Most people would have a problem with me placing ourselves first in the previous sentence but in order to serve others you must first know how to serve you. When we secure ourselves first we allow our souls to take root and cause us to be grounded. If we have no root and have not been grounded we cannot have a foundation for others to stand. When we know who we are and what we’re capable of we know our own worth and are not afraid to stand in it. So remember, the goal is to always place your oxygen mask on first, then others. We cannot thrive if we cannot survive. This was something I had to come to the understanding of when I took a look at my life personally and professionally. I knew that I wanted to be at a place where I was my best self. And I knew that being my best or highest self required a bit more thought, planning, strategy, and execution. I chose to expend the energy to learn consistently in a way that would instill the lessons deep inside through repetition.

 

One day while planning how I would give my clients the best customer service: I perceived that I had to serve them in a different way to begin the shift for the future. I had been schooled on how that everything I did for my clients should be based upon where my company was headed and not where it was. I would always be ahead of the game if I planned it that way. A thriving company prepares for the here-after; even if you’re unsure there will be one. In planning how to best service them I recall that I still had to serve them while maintaining the things I was already committed to doing, as well as those tasks I had to do for myself. This meant that I had to step my game up a couple of notches if I wanted to ensure balance and order, personally as well. It was important for me to keep balance in order to thrive. Thriving goes past survival: it’s where you go to reach your dreams and create new ones. The goal of thriving is made manifest when everything in your world at any given time is spinning on its axis harmoniously and consistently.

 

I can remember rushing to get through lessons not comprehending that rushing causes you to miss things because you can’t see them correctly. I became aware that there was no need to rush when you were prepared. Being prepared meant life would go easier than it would if you were not. For example, if you iron your clothes for the week, or maybe even the night before, the next morning you don’t have to rush because everything is already done.  All you need to do is shower, brush your teeth, jump in your clothes, brush your hair, and go. It’s as simple as that; but when we choose not to be prepared we do not allow ourselves a chance to be our best.

 

Life will always require you to kick it up a notch when you have been privy to the most amazing experiences. Remember, to whom much is given, much is required. Don’t worry though; this is where you get to see what you’re made of.  In order to keep up and have balance all at the same time you must reinvent yourself before you have to. I say ‘before’ simply because you are not ready for the future right now; you have to be made ready for it. It’s called preparation for what’s to come.

 

One day after a shower I looked in the mirror at myself. I looked at the shape of my face, my eyes, my body, and afterwards, I looked at my mind. Not physically of course, but in retrospection and also in the future. In getting with myself I learned to allow myself the space to settle within for a moment. I didn’t rush the process, lessons, time, or the space. I allowed myself time to receive all that the Creator has for me. And when I opened myself up, I allowed the most creative space I’ve ever seen to come from me. It has been a life of trial and error but the intention has always remained the same, to be the best me I can possibly be. I will continue to thrive because I am intentional about it. I’ve learned to schedule out my life to create balance and organization. For me this has been most important to accomplish because we always want to be a benefit to others but when we’re all over the place it’s hard to do that.

 

God has always carefully and strategically changed my scenery to teach me lessons I would use for the future. As I understand it more, I begin to look for the changes to occur and look forward to what I’ll learn next. So far I’ve learned that what you do in your personal life translates into your business life. When we allow ourselves to change what we’re doing, to accommodate where we are going, we design a better course for our lives. What more than a designer life created by you, made by the decisions you made based upon where you wanted to go.

Be sure to subscribe to the Kai Mann blog to get notified as new blog posts are published.

Twitter: @Kaiology

Facebook: Kai Mann Fan Page

 

 

InkMann Press- Balance Rewards


PicsArt_11-23-08.43.31

 

In 2011 I started a publishing company called Scriblical Vibez Publishing. When I wrote out the business plan for Scriblical Vibez nearly five years ago, my plan was to publish my own works; and to help others publish theirs as well. Since then I have grown as an individual, a business, and a brand. Currently I work to create the life I want by choosing to be an entrepreneur and there is nothing like its reward.

I made the conscious decision to step out on faith and dare myself to create my life from the inside out. I’ve come to learn that stepping out on faith is not just a one time event it’s actually something that you do continuously. Daily my goal is to bring into existence the life that I’ve envisioned. Since this decision I’ve worked diligently to master me, my thoughts, and my actions; all while managing my time. Having the optimal life means knowing which specific actions will create the best results and bring me closer to the vision.  I want to build a life that I could be proud of, filled with memories and priceless moments that would not only help in building my legacy but improving my quality of life.  Although the process has taken time and some parts of the journey have been difficult, my mind has been focused on getting the lesson. You learn that there is always something more at stake. We must understand the lesson for what it is and not see it as punishment. There is always more at work in the grand scheme of life. The lessons you learn today may be the tools used for tomorrow. When you understand that each lesson is a key to unlocking a door to another level or dimension in your life or business, that’s when you learn how to use the key. I chose to use my key to unlock the door to entrepreneurship.

Although owning a business can be a lot of responsibility and scary at times; I knew that I wanted to make that step. I realized that a lot of people want to do “big” things in the world but forget that the biggest impact you make is within yourself first. Knowing this inspired me to start an “inner movement” as I worked on getting my entrepreneurial endeavors off the ground, so that I could become the best at what I was good at. This “inner movement” to cultivate self-love and self-growth from within became another key to unlocking everything that I would do in my personal and professional life.

When I started SVP (Scriblical Vibez Publishing) I didn’t know what the future would hold but I knew that I wanted to grow beyond my wildest dreams. I wanted to follow the desires of my heart and be successful at it. Besides desiring to write books with themes of self-love and self- growth, I wanted to leave a legacy to my family. Leaving a legacy for my children’s children would mean that I would change the course of all of our lives. Our family legacy would be the model for everything done thereafter for any of us. I knew leaving something of this magnitude would mean that I would have to test my limits and the possibilities every chance I got.

Self love is important to every aspect of our lives; especially when owning a business. Having a healthy sense of love for yourself gives you the ability to maximize your impact thus helping you to be confident. If you believe in what you’re doing you have the ability to gain supporters, fans, clients, and customers.

Self-love and self-growth come at the experience of self awareness. Self awareness in business is a key factor because it allows you to know your limits, the things you enjoy doing, and the things you would rather someone else do. This was one thing I had to learn. When I first started my business I would take on everything as I have always been opened to learning but I soon realized that there were some things I shouldn’t be doing because it took up too much of my time. As I grew I became more aware of what those tasks were and stayed away from them or hired someone else to do them.

In business, self growth makes you work differently than others because you know that in order to see your company grow you have to grow. Self-growth opens the door to another tool, self reliance. Growing isn’t always easy but someone who practices self-love can motivate and encourage themselves during this process whether others are there to do it or not.  It’s not to say that we don’t need others just that we can depend upon ourselves because we love us enough to show up for everything in our life including business.

The beginning of SVP (Scriblical Vibez Publishing) meant something major was to come. On the way to major though, I learned that you must always be thankful for the things you’ve accomplished in between. This determines if you’ll receive more. Although thankful, I would sometimes forget during times when I wasn’t where I desired to be. From the beginning I thought that being open was enough, and I was right, it was. Being open to possibilities creates even more opportunities. Since starting SVP in 2011, I have started two other companies, but not before being a WeJay on an internet radio show.  If I had not been open to living, my life would not have completely changed its direction.  Every time it asks more of me I give it more. It’s not to say that I haven’t given more kicking and screaming but I was able to give life more because I wanted more of what life had to offer.

When you want more from life you understand that it is an opportunity that comes at the highest of rewards.  This means that the stakes are even higher and that you have to learn quicker. You must know who you are, what you stand for, and what you believe. In an effort to be real, the decision to give more and to have more does not come without sacrifice.

I myself have had to make sacrifices that have not stopped short of losing those treasured people and moments. Giving more sometimes means that you are required to spend a lot of time creating opportunities and strategies for you and your business and not be able to attend every event that’s going on. Sometimes that’s the sacrifice, but in order to have the best results in the end; sometimes we can’t have it all in the beginning. That is not just hope speaking either. With every step of the way I have gotten confirmation even when things seem to have not gone as planned. It was later discovered that was the plan.

In life as we work toward the next level or dimension we have to be willing to stretch and seek to apply the lessons we have learned. We must use those lessons to make ourselves, our company or our brand better. It is through self-love and self-growth that we are able to do so. It’s no longer just about financial gain but about creating a work life balance so that we are successful in every area of life.  What is money if you have no peace because you lack balance? Strengthening every area in our life is important; being a master of one area but not the others is not healthy.  It perpetuates and breeds imbalance and deficiencies. Deficiencies leave you open and susceptible to the climate rather than the climate being susceptible and open to you.

As we speak of balance, today I sit here with “The Smooth Jazz All Stars Radio” station on Pandora, a huge Mahogany Teakwood candle burning, and my laptop. I’m in my element and feel like all is right with the world. For me, this is one aspect of balance: spending time with me. The other aspects of balance are spending time with a significant other and family. Of course, work life is another area on the wheel of balance. I’ve learned to define what time and balance looks like for each area and to be consistent.  I used to spend more time working than I did in every other area which meant that as I was successful in business but I wasn’t able to fully deliver every time in my home life. Success to me now is being able to balance every area consistently.

Anytime that you are looking to master any of these qualities you must take a moment to access the situation.  This was something that I’ve learned to do over the years. Assessing your situation isn’t a one time thing; it’s something you’ll have to do often to determine if you’re on the right path. I noticed that as the journey deepened and the dream got more defined the more I needed to reflect upon my life. Upon reflection I would think about my ability to do more and would ask myself “What does more look like?”  I knew it was important to know what more looked like so I wouldn’t be surprised or caught off guard. In the past I have agreed to things before knowing what it entailed and have had a hard time manifesting them.

Today with self love and growth I utilize the tools that I have acquired in my arsenal to accomplish the more in my life. The reward has been personal and professional success.

@kaiology

Scriblical Vibez Publishing

http://scriblicalvibez.com/

Twitter: @scriblicalvibez

Eyeology INC 

http://www.eyeologyinc.com/

Twitter: @EyeologyINC