I ask a couple of questions in the video below that I feel I can ask because I didn’t. I didn’t know my own power; I didn’t really know who I was. However, I tried to raise my children the same way most people do, with love and no real wisdom of who I was truly raising. I knew enough to tell them that they were “messengers”, but only after I got that in a dream. I didn’t teach them how to be who they were called to be, so how could I really expect them to turn out to be that. I did no real studying of their natal charts to find out who each of them was individually so that I could raise them to be the best “them” that they could be. As a matter of fact, I messed up trying to raise them all the same, and because of it, they had a very difficult life. Let me be boldly honest, I didn’t raise them fully, their father did. That’s not to say that their father did a bad job, what I am doing is being honest about the role I played in their life. Nevertheless, that’s another story for another day one that we will get to but today we’re going to talk about what I’ve learned since then.
It took me about 20 years to become self-aware. At first, I didn’t know that’s what I was trying to do but as far as I can remember I’ve always been seeking myself, seeking the Creator, and just plainly put, seeking with a Big ole capital “S”. It’s hard to seek answers for someone else when you have none for yourself. Being responsible for your own self-awareness and being responsible to teach your children how to be self-aware when you have no clue of how to do it is almost ludicrous. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that I did things backwards but I know better and I’ll just say that I chose the hardest path that I could take…LOL! I can laugh now but during some of the toughest times in my and my children’s lives there was no laughing happening at all.
Years prior to having children I can remember looking for answers in the horoscopes and didn’t know that’s literally not the place to look. But, of course, it was a start to a long search. Later after my divorce and my children were living with their father in the late 90’s I would go seek answers from a medium, get tarot readings, had my birth chart done a couple of times but I didn’t know what to do past that. No one ever told me what I should do with the information that I received. So, although I was doing the work it was almost like I was standing still and had done nothing at all.
One day, I was moving and going through some old things, and I came across a natal chart that I had done by an Astrologer years before. I decided to try to read it, and I did but I had no clue what it really meant or how they got the information that they did. I didn’t even know if it was really talking about me because I didn’t know me. I wasn’t aware of my behaviors, my character, my gifts, or anything. I was just pretty much existing to live another day. That’s when I decided that I really wanted to know who I was, and not just exist, so I began to pay attention to myself. I began writing in a journal, and even started studying Astrology. The more I began to pay attention to myself the more I learned about me. The more I studied my natal chart the more I learned about my proclivities, my strengths, my weaknesses (what I now call under-developed strengths), my gifts and my purpose. Just doing this alone has given me courage because I now know who I am, I understand why I am here, and what I am here to do. Since acquiring this knowledge I’ve tried to pass it on to my children who are now grown. But to be transparent, once your children get to a certain age it’s up to them to find out who they are and let’s just say they are searching in their own way. Sometimes it includes the wisdom I able to share with them and sometimes it is however they decide. I don’t force anything on anyone and just like it took me a long time to become self-aware they have their own journey.
Since this is a safe space, I’ll say that if I had the knowledge then that I have now I would’ve most certainly trained them up based on their natal chart. Teaching them about their purpose and helping them to master their under-developed strengths so that they could be successful in that purpose. Sharing ways to manage their emotions, work through their problems, communicate, and other skills they would need to know to master this thing called life. I’ve pulled their charts and everything in their charts totally reflects exactly who I’ve seen them be at certain points in their lives. It too shows who they can be, as well as their struggles and how to overcome them. But now, it’s all up to them and throughout the next few blogs I’ll begin to share some of those things with you to hopefully help you avoid them if you have young children.