Something I’ve been doing all of my life intentionally is seeking to learn and grow spiritually, mentally and emotionally. As a Scorpio, transformation is part of my make-up. My sun sign sits in my first house so it is inevitable that I require knowledge of self to sustain a true sense of identity, purpose and destiny.
Having said that, throughout the years I’ve listened to many Philosophers, Spiritualist, Occultist, Metaphysicians, Pastors, speakers and such to glean as much information, knowledge and ultimately wisdom as possible. As the years go by those Philosophers, Spiritualists, Occultist, Metaphysicians, Pastors and speakers change as I evolve. For the last 2 or 3 years there’s been a Metaphysician and Herbalist that I’ve been gleaning valuable information from that seem to help and hurt at the same time. Now, I truly believe that one can gain knowledge from anyone if it resonates within you. It is not to say that everything that a person says will resonate with your spirit but surely there may be some things that you feel ring true. I say this because there are so many knowledgeable people within their lane of expertise that are conscious but of course still within their own level or shall I say frequency. As our frequency changes, higher or lower, our level of consciousness does the same. I said this to say that even though we are knowledgeable and even conscious to a certain degree, sometimes our traumas, issues or past hurts that have not been dealt with can effect the way that we teach or just share knowledge and information.
These past few years I’ve added a great deal of knowledge from the two people I mentioned above but at the same time the way that they shared information was sometimes detrimental to my very own soul. You see as they would share their teachings they would speak badly of homosexuals in such a way that you wanted to stop listening but at the same time you knew that the other parts of what they had to share was vital to your growth. There were many times that I knew the information they were sharing was extremely valuable but I could not in good consciousness share it with others because I felt it could be just as damaging to those people as well. They could think that I too felt the same as he even though I am a lesbian, it could come off that I felt bad about myself. It too could confirm something for them that could ultimately change their views to being just a hurtful as he. As I still stayed for the information I realized that their degradation of homosexuality was part of their teachings because something traumatic or internal is part of their make-up that is causing them to include this hate speech into their lessons. You see, I believe that as we evolve to higher levels of consciousness we understand what matters and what doesn’t. Especially when we begin to understand how energy, masculine and feminine work spiritually while not adding the humanistic equivalent to the equation because not to say it doesn’t matter, but if it mattered most we could take that part of us with us when we left this plane to go to the next.
A few months ago I reached out to one of the master teachers just to share my feelings about their teachings hoping that they would read it and understand that I feel their information is valuable but that their delivery can sometimes be a bit difficult to take. You see, I come from a long line of teachers and I know that the best way to deliver lessons is with love and not contempt. Now that’s not to say that it has to be all sugary either but you can’t hate people and want to help them at the same time. When I think about historical teachers like Jesus for example. He knew that he was surrounded by hungry people but in order to get them to listen he had to feed them first. He didn’t tell them of all their wrong doings he taught about ethics, virtues and attitudes towards one another while showing it. Having disciples from all walks of life who were liars, thieves, murderers and such he didn’t individually shame them by speaking on their so-called sins but by showing love and mercy that whatever changes if any needed to be made they did so on their own, because they wanted to. I believe that many of the representatives of different religions like Buddha taught the same. Although we can all agree that the Bible and many other religious books teach metaphorically from a physical perspective to teach something spiritual but it all is rooted in “Love” something that enlightened individuals are able to know and understand that humanism looks at the believed crime, sin or wrong-doing while spirituality looks at the person and their “heart”.
I wanted to share what I had sent to one of the master teachers who of course may be dealing with whatever trauma, issues or even beliefs about homosexuality on my blog because I think that it matters and is important not only what we teach but how we do it as well.
Instagram DM:
“​I want to thank you, I watch many of your videos as they are very informative. As a person who is into health and also an out lesbian for over 25 years I appreciate what you do for the African American or “so called Black people” I innerstand your beliefs on homosexuality but sometimes your distain for people like me is hard to take when we’re people too who need to heal our bodies as well and reach an understanding of who we are as melanated people. It would be different if us homosexuals were able to get this type of information from someone who spoke to us with love because we deserve that too. It’s almost like you getting some amazing business information from a white person but he kept calling you a “Nigga” the whole time. You want to receive the information but it’s so damaging to who you are on a cellular level that sometimes it’s hard to chew the meat and spit out the bones. But either way, I want to thank you for your efforts I’m still learning a lot from you.”
After all, I wanted to empower him because I am learning from him and the information that he shares is valuable. But, I also wanted him to know that even though I believe it is, at the same time some of his words can be very demeaning. I know, I have the option of not listening to him at all and finding someone who speaks with love and conscious awareness but I too believe that we all are growing at our own pace and so is he. He may have some valuable information to share but he too is growing within his own level of consciousness in every area of his life and maybe not all at the same time. He may not have reached the level of enlightenment in this area where energy (Spirit) is not dominated by sexual orientation because it is not a sex or gender but two poles negative and positive that inhabit the same consciousness and is pretty much meta-androgynous as my partner so lovingly points out. But, the things humans come up with to separate us is what hurts us most. When we can begin to look at each other through our spiritual eyes we’ll begin to truly understand that we are one, and the same and to hurt another is to truly hurt ourselves.
Kai Mann 