For at least ten years I have been having pre-menopausal symptoms like hot flashes and night sweats. In the beginning I told myself not to complain because there was nothing that I could do about it and that I didn’t know how long it would last so there was no point in doing so. Some years were better than others and recently they have seemed to have gotten a bit worse. I asked myself if I thought I were nearing the end and maybe that was the reason or maybe I could contribute it to some food, spices or article of clothing that I was wearing. Let’s just say that I am still trying to find the culprit.
In 2018 I began to notice even more changes but these were not the usual hot flashes or night sweats. No, these changes were mental changes. Okay, so let me give you a bit of background on me. I am what you could call androgynous with a bit of masculine identity or maybe I should say tendencies. To be honest, I don’t go by a label and think myself more of a spirit than a body however, I am in one. I neither think of myself as female or male, I just am. Okay, so you know that part.
Earlier in the conversation I stated that I have masculine tendencies. Although I do not assign a label to myself I have identified more with masculinity than I have with femininity. Identification has nothing to do with gender, so yes, I do know that my spirit is enclosed within a female body. Tell that to my mind and how I relate though.
Now, having said all of that and back to what we are now in “Full BLOWN” menopause the body and its changes are effecting me mentally. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going crazy, I just feel really weird. The feminine hormones that are now at play have me questioning almost everything from the way I walk, the way I talk, and how I just ‘be’ in this world. My spirit wants to just be, my mind is screaming “masculinity”, and menopause is screaming “WOMAN”! Now, I am wise enough to know that at this phase of my life there is something more at work. There is a journey in progress and I intend to take full use of all the different experiences, lessons and stages involved to assist me in getting to the other side of this. However, I feel like an onion being peeled and with each layer there is more than just something to discover but something anew that unfolds within the mind, body and soul experience. It’s the unlearning, the unbecoming, and the unknown that whisks me through a maze of becoming something different. Something I’ve never been before. It is the willingness that I have given into so that I can allow the process to work in my favor. The feelings are overwhelming at times, pulling me here and there but allowing the flow so as not to go against the grain and thwart the process of transformation. I know it to be one of transformation as I watch myself morph into the person that I do not know but overstand that it is best, better than I will have ever been before and something that will take me into eternity. I mean, that is what we are here to do, right?
Are you or someone you know going through Menopause? If so, leave us a comment about your experience and some of your natural orholistic tips and tricks that you use to assist you with some of the symptoms for relief.