InkMann Press—The Big Leap
Dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there, you must be prepared to leap.
Hildegard Von Bingen
This quote resonates soul deep within me. About a year and a half ago I began to feel like I had this hole inside of me that was profound but that there was this boulder that encompassed the width of it. I couldn’t figure out how to remove the boulder. I knew there was something significant that I had to do and I had to do it now. For if I did not, I was to remain forever stuck. I began to look at my life from the view in which I could see it and although I couldn’t see much, I knew that there was more that life had to offer. Even still there were some effects that I had to remove. It wasn’t as if the life I had was bad. It was good: but I knew that the door had opened to something great. And, if I didn’t step outside that door I would risk everything that I had done up until that point. I decided to leap but before I could, I had to prepare myself first.
When I was in high school I ran track and one of my categories was the long jump. I know that the technique when doing the long jump, the jump itself is only part of the process. So, in preparing to take that leap I knew there were some issues I had to clean up to maximize my distance based on my ability to increase my takeoff speed. I knew the distance between where I was and where I was going was great and I needed the gain of momentum to ensure that I would clear the landing and make it to the other side.
The process or preparation for the jump has been long and arduous. It has been one of soul searching, clearing away of old patterns, and strengthening new ones. The level I was on seem to pale in comparison to where I was going but God had given me a guide. My guide would help me see the path when I couldn’t see where to start. She gave me techniques and drilled me with every ounce of fervor in her being. She coached me into submission and at times I would not like her for it but I knew that I had an obligation to my life to step forward. Often it would give the impression that the runway had moved making it hard to know where to takeoff. I surmised that I was still not ready. I didn’t realize how unprepared I had been for the jump. The exercises were long and grueling but necessary. For some time, it would seem like my feet wanted to move but it was clear they were not ready. The hardest observation in life is wanting to be some place other than where you are but know that you lack the character, stamina, and experience to be anywhere else.
It’s been a year and half and all of the training, technique and preparation is paying off. The distance between where I am and where I want to be is closer than ever. There are still some circuits and drills I am still running but I feel better about the leap and am sure that I can make it.
Kai Mann 