Afraid

In the past

I’ve been afraid

Afraid to say “I need more”

thinking that you’d

think I was weak

Been afraid to be ‘happy’

thought I didn’t

deserve it

not really

I never said it

to myself

at least not out loud

but all of my

actions said so

carrying old wounds

scars

bruises

and

bites

like a wounded SOULjah

Every piece of negativity

stuck to me

but I wouldn’t

allow myself

to feel it

so I wore it

like a badge of HONOR

today I’m scraping off

dead skin

and picking sores

I know it sounds gross

it is

I’m letting myself

feel

and

deciding what I

want to do with that emotion

by evoking some

personal healing

“Heal thyself”

is all I

can think

of

it’s not easy though

you have to tell on

yourself

to yourself

be HONEST

and deal from a different

level

you gotta open yourself

more than you ever

have

checking with you

to see how you

feel

so you don’t

get lost

Been lost

a lot

too old for that

don’t have

long enough

for it

either

But I  now choose

“Happy”

I remind myself when I forget. ~ KaiologyInk

#Kaism #Kai2pointO