>It Was Me

>

I was looking to them for something they couldn’t give
Thought that they could help me along the Journey in which I had to live
Thought that their words were inevitably true
Didn’t realize until later they were partly the issue
They alone didn’t determine my plight
For their presence I took a stand and did try to fight
I didn’t understand that they were merely a distraction
My willingness to hold on wasn’t a mere faction
I tried to hold on against all odds
Later it was I left with bullets in which to dodge
I put myself in places that were hard to be
The mirror was distorted making it hard to see
It was I who carried my heart on my sleeve
Choosing fantasy and living in make believe
I couldn’t comprehend the late effects in which I would contend
Wanting to behold and be more than a friend
It was I who chose to live in emotional poverty
It was I who chose to accept mediocrity
It was I who turned a blind eye
Seeking their love as they made it hard to try
It was I who sought them as if they were a sanctuary
Later I’d realize that they would come like Neverary
For their love I sought it like refuge
Incessantly longing for my soul to be soothed
Magnifying them like they were on high
For the love of them I could’ve sought to die
Not realizing that in the end I would feel like I did
Seeking out places for my life to be hid
Belittling myself as if it were my personal declaration
From myself I could not find any separation
I became my own Judge and Jury
Swinging down judgement like a fist of fury
Deliberation made me realize that it had all been me
The verdict was read as it was plain to see
Accepting my sentence but changing my path
Now as I look back on it I can begin to laugh
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