>Relationships

>In life we have an idea of what we want, expect, or think that we need out of relationships with other people but oftentimes we don’t know how to convey those things to the other person that we are in relations with.  How could you expect someone to just know those things if you don’t communicate it to them in the very beginning. Usually you’re in something before you realize that wasn’t really what you had in mind but you stay in it for whatever reason.  One reason could be because you think the other person might change.  Generally, people don’t change because “you” want them to, they have to change because “they” want to.  If the change is for the better of them and for you, or they see whatever it is that they do continually hurts you, you’ll see just how much they love “you”.  Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and it ended, you saw the person some months or years later and they turned out to be the very growth or change that you were looking for when the two of you were together?  Normally you think to yourself, “Why couldn’t they be like that when we were together”? Well, either something drastic had to happen for that person to grow or change, or they found the person that they were willing to change or be a better person for.  Some people stay in relationships that are not working because they have children together not realizing that children are very smart and they see one of two things: Either how their parents are and they’ll grow up to immulate the very same things or that they can’t stand what their parent’s relationship is like and when they grow up they don’t want to be like them.  Other people stay in bad relationships because for some reason or another they think that they can not do any better.  Not realizing that life is full of hope and chances, but if you never step out of something or are not willing to, you’ll never know.  I guess the real question is, “Is it really that bad”?  Could it be that you’re so used to what you’ve got and you can’t see anything else being any better?  Truly, the grass is not always greener but once you get out of the uncomfortableness of change at least you’ll have grown as a person.  Another reason could be because we don’t want to hurt the other person but once realization sets in, you’ll know that you’re hurting yourself even more.  Sometimes it’s as the old saying goes “It’s Me or You” and at that time you must realize it has to be “you”.  For sanity sake and mental well being you must choose you.  Some would call it being selfish but if you’re really going through it, it’s “Selfless”.  It is a selfless act.  You’re the only one that can save yourself, and if anyone else is involved you’ll be saving them too.  Now, I’m not trying to say that because you opted out that there won’t be other challenges that you or your loved ones might face but hopefully you’ve done things the right way thus giving everyone a head start in the new life.  I guess what I’m really trying to say is, before you  move on to the next thing or person that you give alot of thought or write down the things that you need and want out of realtionships. When you have the opportunity or someone new steps into your life you’ll be able to convey those things. If the other person can not live up to those expectations hopefully they’ll tell you or show you early on and that way you don’t have to waste energy on something that can never be.