I posted last week how I was given the opportunity to speak to a group of young ladies. Well, during the conversation with them I asked “What is the best thing to do if I have an issue with her (pointing to their coach), talk to her or tell someone else?” Well, a couple of the girls said “tell someone else.” I then asked “Why” and one of the young ladies said “Well, wouldn’t that hurt her feelings?” I said what do you think would hurt more, me telling her (again pointing to their coach) and saying “There is something that you do that bothers me” or telling someone else, then she hears it from them and of course, have more maybe added to it?” I could see the light bulbs come on.
I told these young ladies that most of us are pretty much let go into the world without real lessons in how to be a friend so we emulate what we see others do. The awful part about this is that most of us continue to do the same when we become women.
Today, I got to thinking “When you talk behind someone’s back is it that you’re being nasty or that you really don’t want that person to know how you really feel?” The one thing that I told these young ladies is that when you tell someone how you really feel, you allow them the opportunity to fix the problem. If you don’t tell them, you don’t allow them to fix it. Giving someone the opportunity of knowing how you feel about something and even if they tell you that they can’t fix it, at least now you know that it’s something they can’t help or they don’t want to fix, either way you know the reason and you can move on from there. But in the grand scheme of things, why wouldn’t someone really try to fix something that you don’t like? It’s all about intentions. Do you want the problem to go away or not? Are you willing to fix it or not?
When we become our sister’s keepers we begin to treat each other with respect. We won’t seek to hurt each other with our words or actions. Of course, this will not happen overnight but the goal is to consciously give thought to how we should treat one another before we take action.
When you call someone friend there is a level of expectation there. How are you going to expect anything from me when you don’t even know me. You don’t even know if I’m capable of what you are expecting. I used to hate those “wait and see” people but now I get it! Impatience! I am so impatient! The Creator is working on me with that because I have to be patient and it is not easy for me to do. So I wait. But while I wait I’m going to just be me. Why not right? How could you even be my friend when you don’t even know me? In order to be friends there must be a level of communication where I not only know the names of the people in your circle because you told me but because you allowed me in your circle. That means a lot. When someone let’s you in their circle it should mean a lot because that means that you’re being trusted. Now we just let anybody in. LOL! You must love everyone and respect them as one of God’s Creatures but you ain’t really got to be their friend. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you all are enemies either, you just don’t prefer them. If someone doesn’t prefer you; you don’t have to be mad about it because everybody doesn’t like you. Who cares! For real! Who cares? You ever thought that maybe they do not deserve to be your friend because you’re special and special ain’t for everyone! LOL.
…I’m just writing.
So, we’re always told to be ourselves but it’s crazy that most of us are so afraid of being just that. Here goes. I just wanted to kind of feel bad for writing the article I just wrote for examiner because it is so biased. But I feel like Man, forget it. Somebody’s gotta say something. Are we really just gonna keep walking around and nobody’s gonna say nothing? For real. I need to be honest and just tell the truth. Something that I wish someone would’ve told me. I would’ve been a little bit more informed. It wouldn’t have took me this long to get it. And I could’ve made better choices. Do you know what I mean?
So what’s that big smile on your face?”
“Man, I’m just excited about the business plans that I have been putting together. It seems to be falling into place.”
“Well, you know how I love women and think that they should be pampered mentally and physically, right?”
“Yeah, Rico Suave!”
I laughed and said, “Well, for a long time I had been thinking about owning a salon. Not just any salon but one where women could be consciously beautified in mind, body, and spirit. I have finally laid out my plans to the T.”
“So, tell me what these plans are.”
“Well, you know how women go to a salon and they pretty much spend their entire day there?”
“Well, I came up with an idea to hit all angles. Conscious Rootz is what I want to call it! When you walk in off of the street a set of double frosted glass doors will lead them into the most beautiful reception area with soft sensual colors and soothing music. There will be a cornflower blue round sofa that seats six in the middle of the reception area with two Shryley couches that sit on either side of the wall. I want women to feel like they are the most beautiful Queens on the planet when they walk in. They’ll be catered to from the time they enter in until they leave out.” I could barely stop running my mouth and didn’t for another ten, fifteen minutes while I laid out my vision in front of my friend.
30 Day Notice ©2011
You and one of your friends are having a conversation about another friend that you are no longer communicating with. You state to that friend that while the two of you are not communicating there is also a great deal of tension that exists. The friend that you are speaking to after hearing the details suggests that if it were them that they would’ve socked the friend or just went off on them. When should you seek friendship advice from another friend? Click here to read more…
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